Staring down that long tunnel
A simple guy making his way
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Maine
Posts: 7,867
Staring down that long tunnel
Tonight is tough. When I get cravings its like looking down a long tunnel. It becomes difficult to focus on anything but drinking. Everything is dulled.
I knew I was in trouble about 3PM today. I was going to post that I needed strength but thought there are so many here that just do it. Why should I whine about my cravings.
This is not a post to whine.
My partner really helped me tonight. He took my wallet and gave me a dollar to go get a lottery ticket at the place we always drink at. He knew that if I went there and was in that place that it would actually give me strength.
It worked. I saw people that sober I cannot stand. drunks that are buddies when I am drunk. Uggghhhh.
The smell of the place turned me off too.
So I am out the other side into the light again. sad that I had to go through that but happy I am still sober.
I still feel like a failure for having to go to those lengths.
I have really high iron due to my liver functioning poorly. I go for a test again in June. Even knowing this I try to play the odds. There are no odds to be played when it comes to your health.
Gonna walk a mile or two on the treadmill and clear the rest of my head.
I am sad but sober. Tomorrow I will look back and by thankful. Tell my partner just how much I appreciated his strength when I was weak. I will return the favor I am sure.
Ken
I knew I was in trouble about 3PM today. I was going to post that I needed strength but thought there are so many here that just do it. Why should I whine about my cravings.
This is not a post to whine.
My partner really helped me tonight. He took my wallet and gave me a dollar to go get a lottery ticket at the place we always drink at. He knew that if I went there and was in that place that it would actually give me strength.
It worked. I saw people that sober I cannot stand. drunks that are buddies when I am drunk. Uggghhhh.
The smell of the place turned me off too.
So I am out the other side into the light again. sad that I had to go through that but happy I am still sober.
I still feel like a failure for having to go to those lengths.
I have really high iron due to my liver functioning poorly. I go for a test again in June. Even knowing this I try to play the odds. There are no odds to be played when it comes to your health.
Gonna walk a mile or two on the treadmill and clear the rest of my head.
I am sad but sober. Tomorrow I will look back and by thankful. Tell my partner just how much I appreciated his strength when I was weak. I will return the favor I am sure.
Ken
Member
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: North America
Posts: 1,628
way to go on getting through the day~~~!
(I wouldn't have gone to the ol drinking hole, but thats just me....maybe a different plan for next time?)
you are going to feel great tomorrow morning!
(I wouldn't have gone to the ol drinking hole, but thats just me....maybe a different plan for next time?)
you are going to feel great tomorrow morning!
A simple guy making his way
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Maine
Posts: 7,867
I realize that this way of staying sober is not an actual long term plan. I was never going to go to a meeting either in that frame of mind. So I struggled through the only way I could. Feeling better.
Just needed to tell you folks what was going on.
Just needed to tell you folks what was going on.
Crazy Cat Lady
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Seattle, WA
Posts: 2,661
It's great that you saw a trigger coming on and took measures to deal with it. Be sure to take time out today and pat yourself on the back for that. It's important. It's a day by day, minute by minute recovery. Make it through today. Tomorrow will be better for it.
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: "I'm not lost for I know where I am. But however, where I am may be lost ..."
Posts: 5,273
Originally Posted by weasel1966
I realize that this way of staying sober is not an actual long term plan.
A simple guy making his way
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Maine
Posts: 7,867
I have considered a plan. Just tonight I got overwhelmed.
I still am craving but feeling stronger as the nite goes on.
Tomorrow night is therapy. Looking forward to it.
Funny how easy it is to give support but when it comes to ourselves we can have such trouble seeing the obvious
I still am craving but feeling stronger as the nite goes on.
Tomorrow night is therapy. Looking forward to it.
Funny how easy it is to give support but when it comes to ourselves we can have such trouble seeing the obvious
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Florida
Posts: 1,002
Ken,
I am glad you pulled through. Remember the first week is SO tough and emotional. Be good to yourself and try not to listen to that negative voice in the back of your head. You can do this. You did this already for close to a week and you were strong enough to get right back up after a fall.
Making a plan like you intend to do for the coming weekend is a great idea.
I wish you strength and happiness
I am glad you pulled through. Remember the first week is SO tough and emotional. Be good to yourself and try not to listen to that negative voice in the back of your head. You can do this. You did this already for close to a week and you were strong enough to get right back up after a fall.
Making a plan like you intend to do for the coming weekend is a great idea.
I wish you strength and happiness
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