Spinach

Feeling comfortable with most things but , I'm having a feeling that is slowly changing from go on a drink now would have been good to go on just go for it as long as!!!!!!!!
The worst is a sensation deep down that is saying you know your going to so lets get this over with.
I DO NOT DRINK.
I DO NOT ENJOY ME DRUNK.

John.

smacked

Go to a meeting. Hell.. even though I didn't ultimately use AA or NA in my recovery, going to a meeting was always better than sitting alone with my thoughts some days. Maybe some recovery will rub off on ya'.

instant

These ideas go away with time. I found it useful to consider all the negatives that got me to give up in the first place.

I also found my daily support thread group very useful. I am sure you would be welcome to join the current month group. Checking in daily just to touch base helped keep me on track in the difficult early period.

How long have you been sober?

Do you face any social pressures to drink?

Are you getting physical urges?

These last two things might require a more specific appoach

Spinach

No I have no pressure life is better my peers all know and accept I'm dry I have a sober understanding of drunk now that I never had during my drinking . If I think of how it'll effect me I have no wish to feel out of control the rush any of it including hangovers stomach problems . I don't know , I have support at home and I am proud of myself for the last 70 odd days sober . Maybe I just felt a bit too confident and am trying to shake things up so I don't let my eye of the ball.
Thanks both,
John

Dee74

John
I drank every day all day for 5 years or more - you better believe I heard that voice saying 'go on it's inevitable, get it over with and drink'

but I know drinking is death for me - soul first.
so...I didn't - and I know you can hold firm too

Do you have any support besides SR John?

D

hypochondriac

A few of us have been having intense cravings recently John...largely due to the weather! Do you think that could be contributing to it? Keep reaffirming that you don't drink and don't engage which any thought that says otherwise! Stick with us xxx

Spinach

No Dee only here. Which has been invaluable . I'm really unsure what's happening . I find AA difficult for many reasons . Though if a relapse occurred I would be knocking down there door !
Maybe just my psyche settling down to my new improved life or maybe some old demon rattling his chains .
Sorry all sounds more like whining ,
John.
Oh and Hypo maybe the weather is adding to things.
Thanks.

DisplacedGRITS

Remember that negative thought is setting yourself up for failure. Don't think about the future. Concentrate on the here and now. All you have is this moment and in this moment, you are not drinking. Every moment, you are not drinking. Live in the present, not the future nor the past. If you keep planting these negative seeds they will grow. Just live for the here and now.

miko67

Yeah its a bumpy road just cherish what good thing you have got out of it so far. Look at your relationships with people, its an amazing awakening been free of the alcohol.
Dint let it grip you again.

hypochondriac

If you're not getting any other help John it might be worth checking out a little AVRT...It really has made my cravings nil and void no matter how strong they seem. x

CaiHong

I remember the cravings early on in sobriety and it was like a battle going on in my head but I didn't cave in , waited them out and they did pass. I was so thankful the next day.

AA and this forum helped me to stay sober.

Hang in there and stay strong. This will pass

Love
CaiHong

Isaiah

Addiction will do that. I still feel sometimes like I need to just "get it over with" or drink to remember why I don't drink.

What you want is the shaky cravings to stop, not the alcohol itself--I wager. Thing is though, and I know you know this, if you did drink then soon as the alcohol was out of your system it'll go right back to how it is now. Giving in for a temporary fix really only puts you into a cycle where the feeling is never going to go away.

SeekSobriety

What helped me was writing down on a piece of paper all the bad things that using and drinking did to me. It helped me remember why I wanted to give up drinking and using.

Anytime I would "Forget" how bad things were, and I would somehow think drinking and using would be "Different" Next time around. I would look at that list I made and would remind myself that it probably would not be a good idea to go back to drinking and using

I cannot tell you how awesome I feel the next morning waking up without a hangover or being sick. Especially when I see other people getting up after a bender and looking and feeling like Cr*p. I know I do not need to feel like that ever again. As long as I do not take a drink or use for today

You did a awesome thing by posting up here and talking about how your feeling. That is a whole new way of living that I had to learn, how to confront my feelings instead of hiding from them in a drink or drug. Sure it might not be easy to talk and think about our feelings but it wasn't easy living the life of a user either. It is hard work to be a successful drunk, and harder work to be a unsuccessful drunk. The payoff of putting hard work into sobriety has a much better long term payoff in my opinion.

Weasel1966

I learned in rehab that we often subconcisouly plan our relapses before they happen.

Your ability to be self aware and see the changes in your thoughts can be used to foil that plan.

Best to you.

artsoul

Will it really be "over with" if you drink? Chances are it will increase your cravings and what will you do the next time you feel like this?

If you stay strong, the craving will leave and tomorrow will be a good day. Then the next time you get that feeling, it won't be nearly as strong and you'll have the confidence that you can get through it!:ghug3

sugarbear1

Search online speakers and take a listen. The stories alone let me know I'm not alone and that there is hope that I, too, can have long term sobriety.

You can get through the thinking.

Have you read the whole big book? Looked into another program "fully?"

I just returned from my home group meeting. We read the big book, one half to one chapter at a time and discuss it. This guy with several years asked, "When did they put this chapter in the book?" Yeah, we say we've read the entire book, but have we skipped any pages?

Journal, take a bubble bath, clean the kitchen, do some laundry, whatever you do, get out of your thoughts and concentrate on a task. It will help your newly healing brain to heal more....

I have faith you will stay stopped, John!

Hugs,

OCDDan

Spinach, sounds like what i ran into, the "complacent" stage, i went five and a half months and then forgot to stay sober, actually i forgot how bad it feels to be hungover and everything that goes with it, after my fall i agree'd with myself that i can never drink again, it's much easier now.

Spinach

Thanks I'm moving forward. Actually drinking is not an option without saying I'm out.
I've been working on changing the focus of how drink effects me, so I can remember the real truth and put it in perspective of any better sensations and how once the rush is felt the day has finished till oblivion .
I guess 30 years of drinking is an awful lot of time and bad thinking compared to 80 days and resetting takes some time to bed down.
Thanks everyone John.

Fallow

Thanks for posting this.
I agree that nothings worse than that feeling getting drunk is a foregone conclusion.
In the past I was essentially already toast.
I know its gonna come up for me again gotta find tools to fight it.
Good one on not giving in!

SoberRightNow

That's the key for me, simple as that. Part of my mind will always try to sell me this snake oil about how great it will feel, how much fun I'll have, how it will take away my stress, anxiety, yaddah yaddah.

Turns out for me staying sober is as simple as not getting sucked into that. Shame it took 15 years of me and everyone around me suffering before I noticed none of that stuff is true.