ComeUndone

Obvious noob here so quick take on me for any who care to know. I'm 58, alcoholism is rampant throughout both sides of my family, married 34 years to the most wonderful woman alive, empty-nester with 2 grown kids with plenty of problems of their own. Upper-middle class, home in the burbs. Professional man, wife is a professional woman. She's a moderate alcoholic (2-3 glasses of wine every night). I'm a serious alcoholic (6-8 beers every night) AND I am addicted to hydrocodone (moderately so....I take two 350/7.5 mg tabs every night, rarely if ever more than that).

Tried to quit drinking cold-turkey (ha!) last September and the withdrawal was so bad I couldn't wait to start drinking again. Tried same thing with the hydrocodone with same result. I need to find some way to get help without it becoming a showcase event in either my private or professional life. No offense to those who believe but AA and/or faith-based programs ARE NOT for me.

Looking for some advice on the following questions:

1) Does anyone have any suggestions on what order each addiction should be addressed? If someone is a boozer and junkie like me, which one should I try to rid myself of first? Or, should I approach them simultaneously?

2) Has anyone ever tried the "Last Call" program for alcohol addiction? If so, what was the result? How much does it cost? The website doesn't tell you. I can't post the hyperlink since I don't have a sufficient post-count but drinklessnow.com is the website.

3) Has anyone here ever been though a hydrocodone addiction program that was successful? Does anyone know of any effective methods to reduce the effects of withdrawal?

Anyway....I found my way here and now I am hoping for some guidance. Any positive input is most appreciated. I know I need to quit drinking and drugging....and soon. It is obvious that I am slowly killing myself. I can feel the edge of the cliff drawing ever closer to me with each passing day.

MarylandRick

Welcome ComeUndone. Parts of your story are very much like mine. Wonderful wife, two grown kids (college age for me), working professional, upper middle class, wife drinks daily but I'm a complete lush.

All I can say is it can be done. Go talk to your doctor about the withdrawls, I detoxed many times on my own and my last binge, going to the hospital made it so much easier. After that, find a program that enjoy. You say AA isn't it, fine, but how do you know if you don't give it a fair shot? If you simply can't go to AA, look into other recovery methods. I can't speak about "Last Call", but AA has done wonders for me. Coming here is already a big step, keep coming back, you can live life sober.

sissy07

Hi cameundone,

I don't have any advice, just wanted to welcome you to SR! Keep reading....there is a lot of wisdom, experience and love here.

IndaMiricale

I like other detoxed on my own which several times which I never should have. Once to the ER and also once serious and wound up in the ICU.

Please see a doctor to help it makes it so much more bearable not to mention you wont seize up and die.

Prayers are with you, I see your in Houston. I grew up in The Woodlands. Did you know Houston was voted in the top 10 cities to be sober. Great AA there.

ComeUndone

Thanks to all for the replies. I don't see a way out for me to be honest. Being me is like witnessing a train wreck. You can see it coming but you can't help but watch in morbid fascination.

Some of us are just destined to fall victim to our character flaws. I think I'm one of those people. Hey....it's not so bad. In the words of the late, great Jackie Gleason...."Life is short. Live it up!!. Likewise, Jim Morrison said "No one gets out of here alive". Truisms both for sure. My only true regret is the pain I may cause to my loved ones. I'm truly sorry.

Thanks again, y'all. Best of luck to all of you in your struggles.

CaiHong

Of course you can't see a way out, that is part of the addiction and yet many of us here have found a way out.

I hope you find yours.

all the best
CaiHong

Anna

Wow, I`m sorry to see you giving up. Most of us have tried multiple times to stop drinking and have stumbled numerous times. There is a way out, but it involves a lot of hard work.

I hope you change your mind.

Deserto

Have you tried looking at SMART or Rational Recovery or any of the other non-AA methods?

LDT

I think the "most wonderful woman alive" would love to see you stick around. We all would. You should reconsider.

freshstart57

Getting sober is a lot of work, but for me, 75% of the work took place before I put it down for good. It sounds to me, ComeUndone, that is exactly what you are doing right now. These emotions you are having mean you are exactly where you are supposed to be at this present moment. It is all grist for the mill, as Ma used to tell me.

In my case, I got tired of feeling as you do now, and realized that I had the ability to live a different kind of life, you know the kind, the one where you are happy. I believe we all have this ability. If you hang around here long enough you will find people whose experiences will curl your hair, people who have gone deep deep deep into despair and grief, with every addiction and debasement you can imagine that ensured they stayed there. They have come back and are now sharing their experiences and their strength to give hope where it can find some leverage.

I know you want this life, for yourself and for those who love you. What are you going to do to get it?

ComeUndone

You're unquestionably correct. Wish I had the balls to do it.

Right now, I'm going to continue down my path of selfishness....even though I don't mean it that way. It just comes with the turf.

Bad time right now....just don't feel like fighting it anymore.

Mizz

It took you awhile to get where you are at....It didnt happen over night. I think It might take some effort and some time to get out of where you have found yourself. I think that you deserve to give yourself a chance. It's scary but well worth the fight..

Elisabeth888

There IS a solution. Part of it involves doctors and the other part is you choosing your program of recovery. Make a plan!

Dee74

I used to think that too...but lying on my bathroom floor not being able to move, knowing I was dying really has a way of doing away with the romantic self indulgent BS and leaving what's important...

If you have dreams for the future, if there's a man you want to be, if you have people who love you and rely on you, and you want to be there for them...then do it.

Do what you know is the right thing.

The fear will tell you you can't, that it will be too hard, too long, that you'll fail - but there's hundreds of people who'll tell you it's not impossible.

Miracles - real miracles - happen here every day

You're not alone - there's a ton of support here - I hope you decide to use it CU

D

ComeUndone

I should have kept quiet today. Tough stretch for me right now....bad timing. Thanks.

Deserto

What have you tried in the past, though, CU? Any programs at all?

The fight gets a lot easier once you raid the arsenal that is there, unlocked, ready for you to choose your weapon(s).

Maybe pick one from here? Secular Connections - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

ComeUndone

Thanks everyone. I truly appreciate the support and I am kinda awed by the outpouring of concern. Really....thanks a lot to all of you! I'm just sort of lost right now and there are some really bad things that have suddenly become part of my personal life that have made it really easy for me to rationalize my behavior. I'll check in later when (if??) some of the smoke starts to clear.

Deserto

Ok, CU. We'll be here. Be good to yourself.

CaiHong

We will be here for you when you come back.

Love
caiHong

Hevyn

Don't forget about us - talk again when you feel ready. We do care about you and want to help, however we can. Please don't give up on the possibility of a better life.