One week sober and wished I felt better
 

I know it all takes time and I have read so many posts of people who have been sober for 6 months or years and their lives are beautiful. I guess I am stupid because I really thought I would feel so much better after I got through the withdrawal. Not much. I still do not bring money or my debit card any where without my wife for fear I will drink. Pretty sad.:c020:

Hey Duke

I've found it useful to keep a journal. Looking back I was pretty low the first 2 weeks and then I could see a clear steady improvement from that point onwards. This last weekend (30 days) was the first time I felt really buzzing with energy and was itching to get to the gym yesterday. My sleep is still disturbed, but I trust that will improve in time.

It could be your physical recovery is faster or slower, but keeping a journal may really help you see the progress.

Not sad at all, very necessary and I'm glad you are aware of it.

Recovery is an ongoing process, not a "cure".
I like this video ( 4 Seasons of Recovery - YouTube ).
I can identify with it over the years. Perhaps it will help you.

All the best.

Bob R

(ps I can tell you my life is all hunky-dorey after 22 years and I'd be lying like a rug)

I agree with Michael, I think writing a journal is a good idea because although not everything is rosy you could for example try each day to find something positive about the day you're having or have had. You might find that it grows from small things like "no thumping headache this morning" onto greater things.

One week sober, I cried all the time, slept way too much, was borderline suicidal, to be honest. I was sitting in my own wake of destruction, legal, financial, you name it. Somehow, I could see the light at the end of the sh!t tunnel. It gets better. Hang on.

I may try the journal thing. Are you worried someone else will read it? I swear I felt better on day 4-5 after the night sweats stopped. Friday I was kicking a+s at work and all weekend did a ton of stuff. Oh well. Like I said I know it will get better. Just need to hang on.

Give time time Duke...If it didn't get better...None of us would be staying sober.

Make sure you eat. I had to make myself eat for the first few months. Get a regular sleep pattern, if you can. Go to meetings, cling to family and close friends. Get all junkies/drunks out of your life. And hang on.

I'm not worried in my family no, we all respect the privacy of each other's diaries (my wife has kept one for many years). But if you haven't got people you trust to that level around you then you might want to be a little careful and could develop your own 'code' where you want to maintain privacy. You could also use a Wordpress blog - you can easily make those so that you are the only person who can read it. I like the old fashioned way though.

Could it be that you just quit drinking and are not actually in recovery? I am finding they are two different animals...

Do you know how long you spent drinking? Thinking of drinking? Obtaining drink? Planning around drinking? Planning for drinking? Avoiding because you couldn't drink? Contemplating drinking.... Etc......

It's a bit ingrained in your behavioral patterns still. It's going to take time to change. It is a process, slow and gradual and it will STICK with you, if you work on it!! :)

It's probably a really good thing that it isn't an abrupt change. Ya took long enough to make it a serious series of habits, so it will take ya a while to undo those habits, too!

It's worth it. YOU are worth it! Give time time and heal everything well! :)

Peace,

Duke... I'd hang in there. The first 2 weeks I physically felt a bit ill and even though my depression lifted (reason I stopped drinking) I also felt weird. Head was up and down and I had to go camp out at a trusty friend's for a week that I knew would let me be strange.

Keep going, it goes get a lot better, I'm only a couple of months in but I can feel the difference, there are still some ups and downs but it goes up more and more in amongst the odd down (and congrats on a week :))

I think sugar bear is correct. I find that the things that change quickly have less permanence than the things that more gradually take shape. You are dealing with a problem that has been around for some years. To expect all difficulties from it to disappear in days or weeks is unrealistic.

In my experience early sobriety is fragile. It's more prone to reverse back into what it was before (drinking). For most of us alcohol became a huge part of our lives. So, early sobriety can be quite chaotic as we attempt to fill the void left by our drinking. That void is best filled by a program such as AA or AVRT. It’s easier to walk a path successfully taken by others than to attempt to hack your way through the forest by yourself.

Meetings and coming here will help... Keep it up. Each day is a little better.

Hey Duke

I spent 20- years drinking - it took me a while to get to a point where I was happy.

Some of us dig some pretty deep holes - it can take some effort to climb up to the sun again.

I also thought all I needed to do was quit drinking - my life was perfect otherwise.
I also expected change to be massive and instaneous.

Of course I found that wasn't true on either count - and in many ways, not drinking was juts the start not the end.

I'm not saying this to put you or anyone else off - I've bever regretted a minute of my recovery - and things really do get better :)

stick with it :)

D

Duke - at one week I definitely felt flat, exhausted, and uninspired. It changed almost without me realizing it. I had resigned myself to just being sober and not happy - when I started to come alive. I think it was around 2-3 mos. Still, even after more than 4 yrs. every day is a little better than the last. You will get there Duke! We are proud of you.

Thanks for all your support. Another day under my belt so to speak. I have a long day with my wife's grandpa's funeral. No excuses just going to be tough. I knew him very well. I will be there for her like she has been there for me the last 9 days. Thanks again.

Prayers are with you and your family Duke...Be strong for them.

Duke - it's so very hard in the beginning. Just be really conscious of serotonin boosters. Good sleep, food, exercise, sunlight. Little pleasures that make up the day. This is what 'normal people' do automatically (or so it seems). For us.. not so much.

An SRRI antidepressant can be helpful. I heard some addiction doc on the radio say that all alcoholics have depleted serotonin. Don't know if it's true but your own doctor would be the one to consult for that.

Real life is hard. But the pleasure that can come from it is SO MUCH MORE than ever comes from a bottle. Trust me and the thousands of us on here from all walks of life who have been EXACTLY where you are right now and moved through it.

YOU.
CAN.
DO.
IT.

Yes you can!

Also:
S on
O f a
B itch
E verything's
R eal!

:react

:c031: :hug:

Well Duke does what Duke usually does. I could not handle the stress and crying so I had a drink. Shameful. It sucks. Now I have to start all over again and to tell you the truth I told my wife last night that I did not want to quit. Just sick of the battle.