Denial...but maybe not...?
 

I've never been on here before yesterday and decided to post to get feedback on my situation.

For the last 3-4 months, there were only 2-3 nights when I've gone to bed sober. It started affecting my sleep, I hid it, I turned down plans because of it. Not good. As I do it, I know I shouldn't be, but I've had depression and anxiety for years and this is the first thing that has helped me feel better, even if only temporarily. I recognize that much of this points to alcoholism.

I broke down and told my best friend about it two days ago, and yesterday I did go without alcohol, but with no negative impact that I can see, which makes me wonder if I really am addicted to it. I don't deny that it was a bad pattern, but shouldn't it have been harder to stop or have caused a more severe physical reaction?

I've been diagnosed as "abusing alcohol" rather than having "alcohol dependence," but for me, it's just semantics. Just because I don't experience withdrawal symptoms or other physical signs of dependence, it doesn't mean that I don't rely on alcohol in an unhealthy way. I'm also afraid of someday experiencing those physical symptoms, so I'm trying to stop before I fall further.

You know yourself better than we do, but think about what you'd tell a friend who told you about the same behaviors that you just posted. (No judgment here--I'm in the same boat!)

Hi and Welcome,

I also used alcohol to self-medicate anxiety and depression. I ended up being hooked very quickly.

No one but you can know if you are addicted or not. You can try giving up alcohol for a fixed period, of say a month, and see how it goes. Whether you're addicted or not, it's probably a good idea to find some healthy ways to deal with anxiety and depression. I had to get my depression treated and I've learned to deal with the anxiety for the most part.

If you'd left it longer it would have been harder...I left it til I was physically addicted to quit but you don't have to do that.

Like you said, alcohol is only a temporary solution to your anxiety and depression problems and in the long term it will make those problems much much worse.

Glad you're getting help with this now, and welcome to SR :) x

I would say if you have gone to bed drunk all except 2 or 3 times in the past few months that there is a problem.

No matter how much I tried to rationalize my drinking, looking back, getting DRUNK several times a week is NOT normal...or healthy, and in my opinion shows a dependence on alcohol.

If you don't think you have a problem then go 1 month without drinking and see how it affects you both physically AND mentally. When I stopped drinking (still new to recovery) I did not have ALOT of physical symptoms, however the mental symptoms were out of this world. It was all I thought about. Mental "withdraws" while not as extreme or...painful? perhaps as physical withdraws can still be pretty darn miserable.

Hey tryingtoadmit...This is pretty simple to solve...Stop for 90 days...If you can do that with no problem and feel fine...You got nothing to worry about....If you find yourself irritable, restless and discontent...And constantly thinking about alcohol...You may want to look into stopping for good.

Welcome tryingtoadmit!

Have you ever tried to limit your drinking and found that you couldn't? They say the healthy limits are one drink per day for women and 2 for men. Most of us here have found we can't do that consistently, we always want "just one more" (and one more after that and on and on).

I commend you for looking at your relationship with alcohol - it really does catch up with us sooner or later. Welcome to our family!:c031:

I drank for the relief it gave me. It solved all my difficulties of the day, in my mind....it was my solution. I wasn't physically addicted, I'm just an alcoholic.

Today, I found a new solution in the steps of AA. It's not always how much or how often an alcoholic drinks, it's the effect it produces.

If life is wonderful after you stay stopped, then alcohol was the problem. If you feel you "need" the drinking, then maybe you are the problem and alcohol was the solution.

Only you can decide.

Welcome to SR!

Labels don't matter much, so I wouldn't get hung up on the term "alcoholic." There are people who have drunk themselves into the grave parsing whether the term applies to them or not.

More important is that you're using alcohol to self-medicate for anxiety and depression. That will ultimately lead to addiction for most people. Have you spoken to your doctor about better ways to address those issues?

I didn't have any physical withdrawals from alcohol but the mental stuff went on for months.

I would say you have a problem but that doesn't mean much, you have to decide.

caiHong

Welcome to SR. Alot of great people and always someone who's been in the same boat as you.
Hang around awhile