Fdm

Great thread. Some words here touched my heart. Thanks.

Beerbottles

While I'm proud that there's been a 6 pack in the fridge untouched for 2 weeks I also think it says a lot that each day it's actually a big deal that i didn't touch them... A person who didn't have a problem wouldn't even have to think that

Easyrider

I'd pour them down the toilet!

least

Exactly! I had to come to that realization that I was not like normal drinkers who never gave it a second thought. Only when I admitted to myself that there was a problem was I able to solve it.

Beerbottles

They are my husbands beers - I will NOT touch them! But I have requested he stop bringing them home

Sapling

You should be proud of that...And a person who didn't have a problem wouldn't say I drank last night, except it wasn't the train wreck it used to be. It wasn't easy for me to admit to myself the seriousness of the problem I had....That I'm an alcoholic...No doubts...But once I did....It made it easier for me to start to work on solving it. It's just a thought.

soberlicious

I decided after 10 years of not drinking that I had matured, after all I was married now, had kids, I could certainly have an occasional glass of wine after I put the kids to bed. I don't even like wine, but it sounded civilized. 2 weeks later I was drinking every night. Each time I drew a line in the sand, I ending up moving the line:
no drinking until the kids were in bed
ok, just one drink before the kids are in bed
ok, it's 4:00 but we're outside in the yard...they're playing, it's fine
noon? works for me

Basically what happened is I listened to my addicitive voice. I became quickly readdicted even after 10 years of abstinence. It was an experiment that lasted 7 years, and ended very very poorly. Took up a big chunk of my childrens' childhhoods.

I don't count days, I don't go one day at a time either. I took drinking off the table as an option, and let me tell you, it brings me so much peace to not have to worry about it. It's done. I do not drink. ever. Frees up alot of space in my head for more important stuff

Oh, and the beer in the fridge can get be a little squirrely there at first, but once I redefined myself as a nondrinker, I don't battle with being around alcohol or people who drink it. You might find that to be true over time as well. Many do.
Best to you.

Michael66

Hi BB,

My story is similar to those above. After a year sober I had a couple of beers and was fine. It was then a few weeks before I gave myself another treat 'night off' from sobriety. As time went by the interval between nights off sobriety reduced and the number of beers drank increased until I was back where I started.

I hope it works out for you. I have had to completely let go of the idea of controlled drinking and all that drinking was connected to. For me making that decision was actually much harder than my 30 days without alcohol has been.

Whatever you decide I hope you find freedom from uncontrolled drinking.

hypochondriac

What a great thread! I wish I had some evidence somewhere of my thoughts in the many years where I was trying to convince myself that I could drink normally. Even though I never actually did it I was convinced in my mind that one day I would be able to! I really think this is the biggest hurdle, well done for tackling it face on Beerbottles x

eJoshua

BB, the time I spend modulating between sobriety and relapse was completely miserable and got successively more self destructive and extreme as time went by. I did that for about a year before I finally really made peace with not drinking. I really hope you're a quicker learner than I was.

CraigA

Good comments, BB hang in there the beginning is tricky but not impossible! My sponsor told me that I would/might control it for a little while but there will be a time where I cross that line again, whether it be two weeks or two years if I was an alcoholic I will cross that line.

Yeah don't beat yourself up you learned quickly and you told on yourself-you reached out for help right away instead of waiting until there was serious consequences! Most of us has to wait until there was enough pain or no other choice, if this was the worst of what happen it was a good lesson to re-affirm that there is a problem.

What can you do now to build yourself up stronger now? What are you willing to do to ensure you don't listen to that voice again? If you are up to it try to go to a 12 step program AA get some face to face contact which will help out as well as SR! Build up a network of sober, healthy people you can call and lean on when times are rough! Keep reaching out and keep telling on yourself especially before you pick up again.

My hats is off to you that you can respect your husband and leave the beer in the fridge, but if you get tempted I would suggest leaving go for a long walk, go to a friends/relatives house, be a little more suggestive about getting rid of it not leaving it in the hoouse overnight, and again tell on that voice in your head, remember to weaken that voice inside your head keep telling another sober alcoholic about it and pray!

God bless you and I will keep you in my prayers!

instant

BB. I am sure I could drink in a civilized fashion. I am also sure I could not maintain it for very long. InAm sure in time I would be back in the vortex of torment and struggle.

The great thing about sobriety is the mental and emotional freedom. It beats the unattainable mirage of civilized drinking hands down............IMHO

Hope you find your way to peace

donenow

I'm reading this post and thinking 'true, true, true, true' I'm in a similar situation, newly given up, four weeks but I hate hate counting. I've had half a glass two weeks ago, but didn't consider it square one again and tried to be sensible and not catastrophise. I know and everybody on here knows, you (and I!) don't drink like. 'normal' people, please don 't let two lousy beers be anything other than two lousy beers. Good luck, stay strong and smart!