Originally Posted by changer

hi....
not sure what to say. i've been an alcoholic for years now- i'm 31 and have been drinking since a teen. over the years it's gotten more and more out of control, and this past year has been awful. i've been hospitalized, missed many days of work, and even tried antabuse a few times.
last night i got incredibly drunk, and i was late for work this morning and showed up still drunk. i realized i couldn't be there, and had to leave. i'm exhausted, and overcome with shame and fear. i'm worried i will be in trouble at work, and i'm so embarassed of what my co-workers and bosses must think. my family and friends have heard me say 'i'm sorry', and 'i'm quitting' more times than i can count, and i can't imagine how they can trust anything i say. i'm writing just to get this out, but if anyone has advice on how to deal with this shame and guilt, i would love any feedback.
thank you...