albeitslowly

Hello, this is very hard for me. I have recently come to terms with the fact that I am an opiate addict (norco, oxycontin). I have been clean for about two weeks with the help of the excess of a friend's suboxone prescription, and have been tapering, with the intent of stopping shortly. I have sought treatment via my insurance because i dont have the cash to seek private treatment, only to find that my doctors treat me like a common criminal.

I began taking pain medication to treat a back/hip problem i acquired after a car accident 10 years ago (i am a woman in my mid-twenties now) and I have been off/on pain meds for nearly a decade, physical therapy never helped me to manage my pain very well, with my addicition at its worst for the last year after a new injury. I found myself buying pills from people, increasing my doses, until one day i woke up in withdrawal and every day since I have had to spend ever spare dollar I have keeping my body pumped full of opiate medications.

I dont know what to do at this point, or where to find the strength to stay away in my moments of weakness. I have a supportive boyfriend, but he is immature and ignorant to my plight and can only offer so much.

I am afraid that when I finally run out of Suboxone tomorrow morning, that when I begin withdrawals I will relapse and waste my 2.5/3 weeks that I have been liberated from my drug of choice.

I dont know exactly what to say, but here I am. I would really like to make some friends here, and learn from those of you who have experience and strength, who have found your way don this difficult path, because I am so lost right now.

Thank you.

sugarbear1

Welcome to SR!

Scroll down, there's a forum for those on pills. Lots to read and take in. LOTS of support here!

Hugs,

Dee74

Welcome albeitslowly

I think supports very important.
You'll find a lot of support and encouragement here.

If the Drs you've been going to have a bad attitude towards you, find another. There are Drs who understand about chronic pain and the dangers of addiction and dependence.

Are you open to the idea of something like NA? Face to face support might be useful too?

The forum sugarbear mentioned above is here - lots of support there too
Substance Abuse - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

good to have you with us
D

albeitslowly

Thank you both very much! I am so very grateful that this forum and its resources are available.

And Dee: i hav Kaiser insurance and they have a specific chemical dependency program, with no choice of selection for physicians within it. If i want to choose a more understanding doctor, i have to go outside my insurance and pay out of pocket. I have found a few which are reasonably priced in my area, but it appears that without insurance the suboxone prescription prices are astronomical! I would stick with kaiser, because they will treat ith suboxone, but they have an intensive outpatient program which would force me to quit my job, and i would lose everything. They really have me painted into a corner.

Dee74

I was actually thinking more of non addictive pain management than the short term stuff....but I'm not that familiar with the American system so I'm not really sure what else to suggest, AB....

Hopefully others will be along with suggestions

D

Fenris

Welcome to SR. Have you considered going to an NA meeting?

albeitslowly

Fenris, i have and am planning on doing so. I have one friend in recovery (well not recovery yet but he is abstaining) who has offered to go with me, to mutually benefit us. My only concern with NA is that I am atheist and have quarrels with the steps involving "higher power"... Im sure there is a way to rationalize and work around it, however. I want to be clean, sober and healthy no matter how I get there.

Zencat

I'm an atheist among other cool things to be. Yes atheist are in AA working the 12 step program and many of the ones I know have a record of long sober time.

Here are some AA links on what some atheist do in AA. Hope it helps.

Agnostic/Atheist AA
Agnostic AA 12 Steps
AA Agnostic London South & Home Counties
An Atheist's Guide to Twelve-Step Recovery from Substance Addiction
AA Agnostics of the San Franscisco Bay Area

Fenris

I'm glad that you have a plan in place. Being an atheist will not keep you from working the steps, as long as you have the capacity to be honest and open-minded. I think it's generally suggested that you can use the NA group itself as your Higher Power, if that works for you. The most important thing early on is the support of others who know what you're going through, and you'll find that at an NA meeting.

--Fenris.

least

Welcome to the SR family! :ghug3

amandah09

Welcome to SR

Hevyn

Welcome albeit. You're not alone. I was a lifelong drinker, but I made it out of hell. I know you can, too. Sorry I don't have any specific advice - but want you to know we are all rooting for you and are glad you're here.

albeitslowly

Thank you all SO MUCH! It means so much to have a place to come to and know there is no judgment, and that there is support here. I am eternally grateful

Hevyn

That's how I felt, too - it meant the world to have understanding and compassion.

Zencat

I have come to understand that one addict helping another is unsurpassable.