lydiebreeze

I've been on and off this rollercoaster for over a year now (before that I was just denying it)
Noone deserves this -its really hard - i keep trying - but I can't quite pick myself up. I'm finding it hugely difficult.

bayliss

Hey Lydia.
I am in the same boat as you. I am back on day 1 again today but there are things that I need to change that I didn't do in the past. I wasn't on here all the time when I had problems. I didn't talk to anyone about the way I was feeling. I need a better support system but I also know that I have to change myself too...someone pointed this out to me today.
I hate feeling miserable like this...drinking is not making anything better whatsoever...

I agree no one deserves this.
I see my friends or go on facebook and wonder how people enjoy their evenings without booze...when I feel like I can't. Even though I can.
I hate these head games.

We just gotta keep trying. Hang in there.
It takes a few tries. But we can do it.

Have you recently relapsed? Are you drinking now?

Gerbosko

Humans are a creature of habit, we like everything to be the same way. When we break the habit, our minds go nuts because we're doing something outside of the "norm" for us. With time, we can change our habit, but it has to be on a repeatable basis where we stick to our new habits to get rid of the old.

lydiebreeze

yea - i recently relapsed and im drinking now. i went close to 2 weeks - and then, of all things I GOT HAPPY - and it was too much for me. I don't get this. it makes no sense at all.

workingknee

Bayliss and Lydia - sending good vibes to you both for recovery, keep sharing and stay with us. xxx

bayliss

That is exactly what happened to me. 2 weeks. Out with friends and then bam. 3 day drinking binge.
Not fun. I had the worst hangover yesterday and the worst anxiety and feelings of despair today. I am going to just try and distract myself for the rest of the evening before bed time.
Some sleepy time tea and a guilty pleasure show.

Hope you can start on day 1 tomorrow.

awuh1

That reminds me of a story which may give you another perspective.

There is a Taoist story of an old farmer who had worked his crops for many years. One day his horse ran away. Upon hearing the news, his neighbors came to visit. "Such bad luck," they said sympathetically. "May be," the farmer replied. The next morning the horse returned, bringing with it three other wild horses. "How wonderful," the neighbors exclaimed. "May be," replied the old man. The following day, his son tried to ride one of the untamed horses, was thrown, and broke his leg. The neighbors again came to offer their sympathy on his misfortune. "May be," answered the farmer. The day after, military officials came to the village to draft young men into the army. Seeing that the son's leg was broken, they passed him by. The neighbors congratulated the farmer on how well things had turned out. "May be," said the farmer.

lydiebreeze

am on hour 1 again. have called everyone i know. they've all expressed concern. the truth is - if u dont have an addiction - u just dont get it. my friend came over yesterday (he wants me to stop drinking big time - he brought me muscle relaxers and kolanapam) I cant take any of the pills - I want to actually be clean and sober.

awuh1

Time to go to your doctor lydiebreeze. Then you can do this safely.

eh1988

You have to keep reminding yourself that your hangover is only gonna make you want to drunk more. It's like a never ending cycle. 2 weeks is a long time so I have no doubt you guys can do it. Maybe it's time to use every bit of will power u have and not go out with friends for a while. I stayed in the first 2 weeks of my sobriety, it was hard to say no to hanging out with friends but I know I would have drank had I gone out. It's all about baby steps, find some people to hang out with that don't drink. Best of luck guys!

eh1988

Do it safely, see a doctor. Detoxing is dangerous, not all of us can do it at home alone.

Dee74

Hi lydie

It's true noone deserves addiction - but everyone deserves recovery

I agree its best to see a Dr...and maybe start looking around at some of the face to face support on offer - AA, SMART etc - or counselling, or inpatient /outpatient rehab.

If you want changes, make changes Lydie - you can do this

D