Going public
Sober Alcoholic
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 3,539
Going public
I found it useful to “go public” when I quit. I told anyone (as the topic came up) that “I’m not drinking anymore”. If they asked why, I told them "I found myself drinking too much". Some I told a lot more. That made it much harder to drink around them in the future. That was my plan, to not drink at all in the future. When I look back I realize that failing to “go public” was just part of a vague plan to drink at some time in the future. I was just fooling MYSELF that I had a plan to quit!
All the pain I put myself and other people through could have been avoided. The repeated detoxing, DUI and relationship problems. My advice is.... if you're going to drink, drink! If you're going to stop, STOP! No half measures, no half a$$ attempts. If you’re going to quit, I mean really quit, then you might as well tell everyone. They're going to find out anyway.
All the pain I put myself and other people through could have been avoided. The repeated detoxing, DUI and relationship problems. My advice is.... if you're going to drink, drink! If you're going to stop, STOP! No half measures, no half a$$ attempts. If you’re going to quit, I mean really quit, then you might as well tell everyone. They're going to find out anyway.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Posts: 176
Originally Posted by awuh1 
I found it useful to “go public” when I quit. I told anyone (as the topic came up) that “I’m not drinking anymore”. If they asked why, I told them "I found myself drinking too much". Some I told a lot more. That made it much harder to drink around them in the future. That was my plan, to not drink at all in the future. When I look back I realize that failing to “go public” was just part of a vague plan to drink at some time in the future. I was just fooling MYSELF that I had a plan to quit!
All the pain I put myself and other people through could have been avoided. The repeated detoxing, DUI and relationship problems. My advice is.... if you're going to drink, drink! If you're going to stop, STOP! No half measures, no half a$$ attempts. If you’re going to quit, I mean really quit, then you might as well tell everyone. They're going to find out anyway.
All the pain I put myself and other people through could have been avoided. The repeated detoxing, DUI and relationship problems. My advice is.... if you're going to drink, drink! If you're going to stop, STOP! No half measures, no half a$$ attempts. If you’re going to quit, I mean really quit, then you might as well tell everyone. They're going to find out anyway.
Never decreasing the seriousness of it, but my sobriety is a topic I don't mind discussing with just about anyone, and I feel that makes it easier.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: USA
Posts: 773
I think you are right Awuh, it probably puts a little more presure on to stay quit, after all, you'd have to explain what happened when everyone goes, oh, yer back drinkin? although the ol drinkin buddies would certainly welcome you back with open arms.. I was feelin a similar thing today, since yesterday i rambled on so much about how i want to be sober, seems like it would hurt more now to fail, every bit helps, no failures..
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,442
I went public when I quit, for the same reasons - I didn't want any bolt holes to hide in should I change my mind.
I was also a very obvious drunk by the end, so it was hardly a newsflash.
Other peoples lives are clearly very different to what mine was tho, and I've seen people here have continued success by telling nobody outside of close family/friends.
diff'rent strokes I guess
D
I was also a very obvious drunk by the end, so it was hardly a newsflash.
Other peoples lives are clearly very different to what mine was tho, and I've seen people here have continued success by telling nobody outside of close family/friends.
diff'rent strokes I guess
D
Member
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Santa Barbara, CA
Posts: 63
i've been thinking about this a lot lately, my sobriety has been mostly a secret to everyone except a handful of friends, my parents, people at AA meetings and my counselor. i'm really worried about telling everyone else, specifically my father and the rest of my extended family.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: North America
Posts: 1,628
It's interesting; I'm more open with non-family than family...but also, only when the topic arises naturally. I try not to keep it at top of mind for conversation, but when it pops up, well, it is what it is.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: UK
Posts: 5,678
That post just put the fear of God into me! I agree though. I told my family because I thought if I didn't I was just leaving the door open for drinking plus I didn't want them to try and pressure me into drinking. But with everyone else I just stumble over the topic...people know I'm not drinking but they don't know it's a forever kind of deal. I was just hoping that I'd just keep saying I'm not drinking and no one will question it. No one seems to have known I had a problem and I don't know if announcing it is really a good idea, or maybe I'm just leaving a few doors open...I feel pretty secure in my decision but the stumbling doubt I have over telling even close friends worries me somewhat.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Baton Rouge, La.
Posts: 15,238
Family and friends never thought I had
a problem with alcohol and still don't.
However, when I had my accident in
February 1990, and then took too
many pills with alcohol in August 1990,
that raise the flag high enough to alert
family and friends that something wasnt
quite right with me.
Then intervention took place that Aug. 1990
and family and friends knew i had a problem
with something and used alcohol to solve
it.
It's suppose to be all in my head that Im an
alcoholic used to get attention and family still
thinks im using it as a crutch to avoid them.
I got sick and tired of trying to explain who
and what I am to them that it came down
to it not being my problem that they dont
undertstand.
I know what and who I am and I have
learned that Im alive today for a reason
or a purpose. And that purpose is to share
my own ESH with others that are still suffering
with addiction to give them hope.
With 21 yrs. of many one days at a time sober,
im responsible enough to share my ESH where
needed.
a problem with alcohol and still don't.
However, when I had my accident in
February 1990, and then took too
many pills with alcohol in August 1990,
that raise the flag high enough to alert
family and friends that something wasnt
quite right with me.
Then intervention took place that Aug. 1990
and family and friends knew i had a problem
with something and used alcohol to solve
it.
It's suppose to be all in my head that Im an
alcoholic used to get attention and family still
thinks im using it as a crutch to avoid them.
I got sick and tired of trying to explain who
and what I am to them that it came down
to it not being my problem that they dont
undertstand.
I know what and who I am and I have
learned that Im alive today for a reason
or a purpose. And that purpose is to share
my own ESH with others that are still suffering
with addiction to give them hope.
With 21 yrs. of many one days at a time sober,
im responsible enough to share my ESH where
needed.
Sober Alcoholic
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 3,539
I think part of this has to do with changing ones identity. We sort of define ourselves by characteristics like sex, occupation and whether or not we like strawberry filled Twinkies , or not. I think part of this comes down to the question as to whether we WANT to see ourselves as non-drinkers. How much reservation is there?
I think this is where AVRT hits the nail on the head, by saying in effect, TAKE SIDES! “make a permanent plan” to abstain! I think it’s also what AA does by having members identify as alcoholics in meetings, with statements like, “my name is Bill and I’m an alcoholic”. I guess my goal here is to have people think about this. If you are not going public, why not? Perhaps there are very good reasons, but you should know what they are.
I think this is where AVRT hits the nail on the head, by saying in effect, TAKE SIDES! “make a permanent plan” to abstain! I think it’s also what AA does by having members identify as alcoholics in meetings, with statements like, “my name is Bill and I’m an alcoholic”. I guess my goal here is to have people think about this. If you are not going public, why not? Perhaps there are very good reasons, but you should know what they are.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Santa Barbara, CA
Posts: 63
if/when I reach a year of sobriety I think I'll be more open about telling people. I think reaching that milestone will give me more confidence to be forthcoming about it and people will take me more seriously when I tell them I already have a year under my belt.
A simple guy making his way
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Maine
Posts: 7,867
I go both ways ..if ya know what I mean... Wink wink... People know and others do not. There is something really important about others knowing. The validation of being me is something not self fulfilling. No matter what. If that makes sense.
Hello... My name is Ken... I am an alcoholic and drug addict. Period.
Hello... My name is Ken... I am an alcoholic and drug addict. Period.
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