New to SR and to the idea of quitting - occasional binge drinker
 

Hi. I'm new to both this forum and to the idea of quitting drinking. I'm an occasional binge drinker, but the binge is never planned.

I regularly enjoy one or two beers with pizza or hot dogs or have a few beers at sporting events. I enjoy a good prix fixe dining experience with wine pairings and leave it at that. I have a glass of wine with dinner or dessert with my husband. I drink champagne at family parties all the time with no issues or over consumption. I can have a cocktail after work without it turning into a debacle.

But sometimes it is a problem. Sometimes I have little to no recollection of the night's events. Sometimes I go out with my husband and some friends and vomit in the bathroom sink, or in the car in the way home, or end up passed out and need to be carried out of the bar. Sometimes we have friends over to our place and I have to go upstairs early to empty my stomach into the toilet because I've had too much. Sometimes I'm so hungover the next day that we have to cancel travel plans. Sometimes I have too much and share intimate details that I wouldn't share sober. And sometimes is too often even if it's only a few times a year and I have no control over when the "sometime" will occur.

My problem with alcohol isn't consistent, but on the occasions it is a problem, it affects my life for days or weeks after. I feel depressed, my relationship feels like it takes a hit, my self esteem is shot, and I just feel emotionally lousy.

I enjoy the taste of alcohol, particularly when paired with food, so the idea of quitting is not very appealing to me. But since sometimes is too often for me (and the health of my relationship), I see few other options.

Is anyone else here an occasional binge drinker trying to quit?

Hi and Welcome,

I think many here have circumstances like yours. After all, it's not how much you drink or how often, it's what happens to you when you do drink. And, it sounds like you have no control over what happens. I hope you decide to live a sober life.

Hi emmam

well, I started that way...but the binges kinda got more and more frequent...and then they started to run together.

I can't tell you what to do, but I will tell you I really wish I'd faced the reality back then - any time I lose control drinking alcohol is really one time too many.

I spent years holding on to those times I drank responsibly as proof I was 'ok'... but I wasn't.

You'll find a lot of good advice and support here :)

D

I'm a binge drinker. That is the only way I drink.

Good luck to you.

I was a binge drinker in the beginning. My story was similiar to yours. Then my binges turned into every weekend for a couple years. Eventually, I was drinking daily and "hiding" my daily drinking from my husband. I too liked the taste of alcohol and didn't want to give it up for a long time. There came a point in time when drinking was no longer fun and it wasn't working for me any longer. I wish I had stopped when I first questioned my binge drinking behavior. It sucks to wake up full of guilt, shame, embarassement, and remorse. Since, I stopped drinking over a year ago I no longer experience those feelings after a drinking binge. Remember nothing changes if nothing changes. Good luck!

I didn't binge, I was all day every day, but I knew in the end that it was destroying me and I had to stop. Glad I did too. I don't miss it at all.:)

Welcome to SR emmam. I was never a binge drinker -- I drank every day from the very start, but with the kind of problems alcohol is causing in your life, you should definitely give abstinance some serious thought. When weighed against the issues you stated, the loss of a wine pairing with dinner seems a little trivial, yeah? If you want to quit, you've come to a good place.

--Fenris.

Yea, the idea of quitting was not very appealing to me either in the beginning. I think almost everyone on the board would say the same. However, now that I have some sobriety under my belt, I have embraced it. Emmam, keep in mind that this is a progressive disease and it only gets worse. Ten years ago, I might get black out drunk maybe once a year. Then it steadily increased to a few times a year and so on and so on.

When I was actively drinking, I would always say to myself that in my next life I was coming back as a normal drinker. Now that I've been sober, I'd be happy to come back in my next life with this. Overcoming this problem (not being complacent....know that I have to work at this everyday on some level for the rest of my life) has boosted my self esteem exponentially. I feel like I can take on a lot of things that I definitely wouldn't have had the courage to do if I had continued to live that life.

Welcome to SR!

Hi, and welcome to SR!

For a long time, my good times with alcohol outnumbered the bad. But looking back, even the "good times" should been a warning sign, since alcohol was a part of virtually every social activity.

It's great you're asking these questions. You'll get a lot of information here.

I just got hammered every night, (nightly bingeing?) lots of blackouts, constantly hearing the next day what stupid things i did. When i woke up with my shoes on i always said to myself, "oh this is going to be bad" and it always was. It sounds like your body has more smarts towards alcohol than the actual thinking process your having (no offence please) but if you vomit, then the bod is telling you it's bad. being sober is the best as far as i can tell, but it takes some effort, I really, really liked scotch, the buzz, the euphoria especially and the part where i forgot my problems (the stupid things i did the day before). The main difference with me is i did it every day and knew it would happen the way it did, seems like you don't know what or when to expect it, and revealing intimate details, that would be embarassing too. Seems like everybody wants to keep drinking at first (i did) it reminds me of the move Minority report, where they catch criminals before they commit the crimes, the guy says, "everybody runs" I drank over the course of 42 years and am much happier now sober. Dan

I started out as a social drinker and even worked as a bartender in a place where the staff was allowed to drink on the job as long as the work got done. It was fun. But then my drinking progressed to drinking all day every day. Blackouts and broken bones started happening. I tried to drink in moderation, but I kept drinking more. I didn't become an alcoholic over night, it took years of progressive drinking. I had to stop because I know if I didn't, I would die. I've been sober 5 days.

"An alcoholic ends up one of three ways: sobered up, locked up, or covered up"-AA Big Book.

I am/was a really bad binge drinker. Like you for the most part it was 1-3 beers at night with dinner or watching TV, but then I would rage at least 3 times a week if not more. Then those binges turned horrible and I was constantly in trouble when I drank I would be crazy, fighting and getting myself into some awful situations and those binge drinking sessions I had no control over. If I start I can't stop.

I really didn't think it was a problem because it's easy to minimize binge drinking because it's not an every day thing. You're not the picture of an alcoholic. But if it's effecting you outside of that night then it is a problem and worth taking a look at and trying to quit.

Hi Emmam, and welcome. My story story sounds similar to yours and many others. The idea of quitting never sounded good to me either. I was a wine rep in my early days and developed a taste for great wine and great food. Like you, there were issues but not consistantly. 15 years later I am looking back and realizing that the problems creeped in about 6 years ago that were steady and anxiety producing and sometimes almost the cause of me losing my job. I wish that I would have quit 6 years ago when the problems went from occassional to consistant.

As Amy2011 says, it sucks to wake up in the morning with shame and embarrasment, but it sucks even more to wake up from your life with those same things. I wish I would have stopped sooner.

Hey Emmam -- my story is very similar to yours. My last binge was April 26 of this year and waking up the next morning was rough enough that I decided to consider how to deal with it. My first thought was targeting moderation, but I discovered this forum and put up a post with a remarkably similar title to yours and the general response I got was that moderation wasn't really possible. Deep inside I think I knew that was true and also truly felt I would benefit from completely abstaining. Two weeks later I'm really happy with that decision and intend to keep it going. I'd strongly recommend it for you!

I to was an occasional binge drinker. I loved the taste of good beers especially when paired with food. But now and then without even planning it I would have the exact same negative binge experience as you described. I then went to moderation management. That works for some people but it certainly didnt work for me. Once I had 2-3 drinks in my system it was fine 95 percent of the time and 5 percent of the time it was a complete disaster.

About 3 weeks ago I decided that the only way to prevent the potential disasters is to quit for good. I did that and haven't looked back

WoW!! I could have written this exact post. I am/was not a daily drinker. Often I could have a glass of wine or a drink with dinner and that was it. A few times a month though I would get *&^%faced and never knew it was coming. Always at a social event or a night out. Puking, blacking out, spilling my deepest secrets, annoying my husband, embarassing myself, etc etc etc. In the past year it seemed I was getting too drunk about once a week and the thinks I did when drunk were too much for me to handle. The guilt and shame of waking up and having to check my texts, or ask my husband to find out what happened...awful. I am now in AA and 13 days sober. It took me a long time to accept I had a problem bc I was not a "textbook" alcoholic. I didn't drink every day. I had a great family, job, etc. I could control my drinking, sometimes. Anyway, welcome, and message me if you'd like.

Ann

Dear Emaam, It is really good sign that you have been able to sense it as a problem and hopefully, it is not already too late for you. In my case, it hit me hard before even I realized there was a big problem. Very honestly speaking, those " sometimes " blackouts and hang overs are sure sign of much bigger troubles ahead, Please read all the posts carefully and with open mind , by all of our SR friends who had been there and done that and lost and lost and lost everything we had .. We wsh you all the best .

I think Anna and Dee plus others kind of show what might be happening for you. Only you can tell but it does require deep honesty with yourself.

It is about what happens to us when we drink and not putting any filters on that. I would section out " Well did okay last night or last weekend" and then boom a two day spree , a few years later gone for a few days ...then a few years later a week , and a few years later a month. For me it grew slowly but surely from my late teens and early 20's till now.

I was similar in my past with the ability to limit sometimes and then who knew when it would go overboard. Looking back , as I never really counted or worried back then, I went overboard a lot more times compared to other people and then slowly but surely it became most of the time.

Dressing up my drinking by knowing what wines to pair with what food and all the rest was simply , at its core , a way to get more to drink.

If you feel there is a problem , now is the best time to address it. Nobody ever suffered a hangover or worse from stopping.

My problem with alcohol isn't consistent, but on the occasions it is a problem, it affects my life for days or weeks after. I feel depressed, my relationship feels like it takes a hit, my self esteem is shot, and I just feel emotionally lousy.



It gets worse.


Liberate yourself from it.

Good luck !