Need advice please
 

Just found out my sister has ended our relationship because I've been "critical" of her drinking. I am working hard for my sobriety and I thought I was giving advice to her about her drinking after she and her husband both got in their vehicles drunk and drove home, with my little nephew in the car with them. I confronted her about that night and ever since then things changed between us.
I keep trying to call her and tell her to please not end our relationship. She has told me she "wrote me off". Does anyone have advice as to what I should do? I am very hurt.

Hey releaseme....I have a brother like that...I can't tell him anything and I gave up trying. All I can do is pray for him and be a good example by remaining sober myself. So that's what I'm doing.

That sounds tough releaseme. I wonder whether it's not you she is trying to push away, but the fact that you're holding up a mirror to her, and she doesn't want to see things as they really are at the moment.

Just keep loving her as best you can. Your relationship isn't ended - you're kin for ever.

I'll keep you all in my prayers.

Hang in there.

Most people get defensive when they're criticised and people who drink are probably the worst. I know I was like that.

I have been accused of being 'high and mighty' already by my drinking family, even though I haven't once criticised them myself. Because you are doing things right they are going to see your very presence as a criticism. It's their problem not yours.

It's sad to say but if they are not being supportive of your decision to not drink and have gone so far to end your relationship then I would be inclined to not contact them at all. Given time hopefully she'll come to her senses. Obviously driving under the influence is a stupid thing to do and you were right to point it out. Gain strength in the knowledge that you did the right thing.

I'm sorry you are hurting but I hope you won't burden any of the blame in this situation. *hugs* x

I also have a sibling that doesn't take too kindly to any 'observations' about his drinking habit. It's always a "Pot calling the kettle black" situation since I am an admitted alcoholic and my brother is always "completely under control" of his drinking. He crashed his car into his garage last year...his foot "slipped" on the pedal...at 2am...coming home from the bar.

I don't talk to him much anymore, mainly because he's a douche-bag drunk and sober haha

I'll admit for myself...Anybody talked to me about my drinking...I got one thing out of it...P!ssed off.

I hate to be such a downer, but I would say if you observe them doing anything to put their child (or themselves) in harm again I say you call the police ASAP. Better to have some bad blood between siblings than a major tragedy.

I didn't think I was criticizing her. I thought I was being caring because it scared me that night.

I was also just diagnosed with PTSD and major depressive disorder and my mother says I'm splitting the family apart. She thinks PTSD is BS. Her comment to me was, " he didn't drag you and beat you".
No Mom, he just shoved liquid soap down my throat, got me in a headlock and threw me to the ground, pushed me so hard against a table my ribs hit the corner and fractured a rib. Was so psychologically cruel and mean to me.

I am so upset over this whole thing and being blamed for splitting the family apart.

I'm sorry to hear that...That's horrific whoever did that to you. And I agree getting in that car drunk with or without a kid is unacceptable. But these things are going to have to be taken care of by whatever ways you have available. I can tell you one thing...Drinking isn't going to make any of this any better. Continue working hard on your sobriety and don't give it up. Do you have any kind of face to face support you can turn to? Somebody you can talk to?

Releaseme,
I want to give you a hug.:ghug3
I would take a giant step back from your family right now.
I speak from experience.
Concentrate on your own recovery.
Every time you want to talk, call another alcoholic and come here.
Do not talk to your family about your sobriety or your mental health.
When they ask, and they will!, "Everything is fine thank you very much.
Couldn't stand it, if I was any better!"
Your sister has a problem. Anyone in this day and age, getting in a car drunk, has a problem. Call police if you want, but don't put yourself in that position. Don't be around them in that condition. Righteous indignation is what she has at the moment.
What in the name of rice crispies could she possibly make an argument out of?
You told her not to drive drunk with her child in the car. But you are gone all logical on it.
No logic there.
Get help in the right places. NOT from family. Guaranteed best way to go.
Concentrate on yourself. Let them off.

Releaseme, I am so very sorry for what you have gone through. Please take some time to be kind to yourself.

My advice is to call the police if and when your sister is driving drunk with her child in the car. That is one thing you can do to prevent the child from going through something similar to what you went through.

releaseme ,

You did the right things regardless of her drinking patterns or problems. True its always difficult when our pasts undermine the right message.

I'd say call the cops if you see her driving drunk. It might a child in the car she hits that gets killed.