Would like advice from old timers (6 mo. or more)
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,526
You just have to be truly, deep-down convinced that taking that first sip will lead you straight back to hell. Back to the dangerous unknown. Maybe not right away, but in time. Dan I'm in my 50's, and for decades I tried to use willpower. I'd say to myself it was ridiculous - I had the power to control what I drink. All I had to do was stick to one or two & I'd be fine. It never happened, though - and until I finally knew there would be no different outcome if I picked up, I was circling the drain.
Put all thoughts of moderating out of your mind. If you could have, you would have.
We are all cheering you on, Dan. You can do this.
Put all thoughts of moderating out of your mind. If you could have, you would have.
We are all cheering you on, Dan. You can do this.
Life Health Prosperity
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Louisana
Posts: 6,752
I'm 1 year 10 months sober. I have always told "NO" when the urge, thought, whatever comes into my mind about drinking. I'm a big believer in the fellowship of AA too. Staying sober is a goal for life.
*Grateful*
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: Midwest
Posts: 2,619
Hi Dan,
I have almost 17 months. What helps me is I read my Bible daily (or some sort of spiritual material but bible works for me) Pray daily, read 2 pages of the big book, call my sponsor M-F, write out 5 gratitude's daily, call others in program, do as many meetings as I can per week, work on step work weekly, and log on here almost daily.
This can be done and you are worth it.
also I remember that my serenity is in direct proportion to my ability to acceptance today, people, places, etc. I really try not to have expectations today, and know that my HP is going to have take place EXACTLY what is suppose to happen for my best well being.
this one was HUGE! I feel like a new person and EVERY SINGLE time I am getting agitated I can immediately see it is because I wanted things a certain way and they are unfolding differently and I can then settle down and be okay with it.
I know this could sound clique but this is such a HUGE part of my sobriety today.
I have almost 17 months. What helps me is I read my Bible daily (or some sort of spiritual material but bible works for me) Pray daily, read 2 pages of the big book, call my sponsor M-F, write out 5 gratitude's daily, call others in program, do as many meetings as I can per week, work on step work weekly, and log on here almost daily.
This can be done and you are worth it.
also I remember that my serenity is in direct proportion to my ability to acceptance today, people, places, etc. I really try not to have expectations today, and know that my HP is going to have take place EXACTLY what is suppose to happen for my best well being.
this one was HUGE! I feel like a new person and EVERY SINGLE time I am getting agitated I can immediately see it is because I wanted things a certain way and they are unfolding differently and I can then settle down and be okay with it.
I know this could sound clique but this is such a HUGE part of my sobriety today.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2011
Posts: 1,138
Originally Posted by Dee74 
1. My drinking will kill me....soul first.
2. Don't pick up that first drink.
3. Be happy about it.
If you live your life loving being sober, you can't go wrong IMO man
D
2. Don't pick up that first drink.
3. Be happy about it.
If you live your life loving being sober, you can't go wrong IMO man
D
Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Massachusetts
Posts: 3,550
Dan:
I agree with lots of the stuff that's already been said. But I'd like to add that deep inside your brain is something that is definitely not your friend. That something wants to get you to take that first drink and will try all sorts of tricks and rationalizations to get you to pick one up, like "I can handle it", "I've learned my lesson", "I'll just take one and can stop any time I want to", "I've done a real good job and deserve a reward- just one!" "I've had a tough day. I need just one to simmer down a bit." "Well, fellahs, I'll have just one- for old time's sake!" "You're sure looking beautiful tonight. Yeh, I'll join you- just one!"
That beast in the bottom of your brain is just itching to get you started again. Don't fall for any of that. Lock it up for good and throw away the key!
W.
I agree with lots of the stuff that's already been said. But I'd like to add that deep inside your brain is something that is definitely not your friend. That something wants to get you to take that first drink and will try all sorts of tricks and rationalizations to get you to pick one up, like "I can handle it", "I've learned my lesson", "I'll just take one and can stop any time I want to", "I've done a real good job and deserve a reward- just one!" "I've had a tough day. I need just one to simmer down a bit." "Well, fellahs, I'll have just one- for old time's sake!" "You're sure looking beautiful tonight. Yeh, I'll join you- just one!"
That beast in the bottom of your brain is just itching to get you started again. Don't fall for any of that. Lock it up for good and throw away the key!
W.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: USA
Posts: 773
yea, again, you guys are really great, i do appreciate all the support, it's really quite overwhelming, i started to feel bad about asking for old timers support, i guess that could offend new people and i'm sorry if that has been the case, but us newb's all can benefit, so thank you very much, I wish google was this user friendly, that would be perfect.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: USA
Posts: 773
Originally Posted by wpainterw
Dan:
I agree with lots of the stuff that's already been said. But I'd like to add that deep inside your brain is something that is definitely not your friend. That something wants to get you to take that first drink and will try all sorts of tricks and rationalizations to get you to pick one up, like "I can handle it", "I've learned my lesson", "I'll just take one and can stop any time I want to", "I've done a real good job and deserve a reward- just one!" "I've had a tough day. I need just one to simmer down a bit." "Well, fellahs, I'll have just one- for old time's sake!" "You're sure looking beautiful tonight. Yeh, I'll join you- just one!"
That beast in the bottom of your brain is just itching to get you started again. Don't fall for any of that. Lock it up for good and throw away the key!
W.
I agree with lots of the stuff that's already been said. But I'd like to add that deep inside your brain is something that is definitely not your friend. That something wants to get you to take that first drink and will try all sorts of tricks and rationalizations to get you to pick one up, like "I can handle it", "I've learned my lesson", "I'll just take one and can stop any time I want to", "I've done a real good job and deserve a reward- just one!" "I've had a tough day. I need just one to simmer down a bit." "Well, fellahs, I'll have just one- for old time's sake!" "You're sure looking beautiful tonight. Yeh, I'll join you- just one!"
That beast in the bottom of your brain is just itching to get you started again. Don't fall for any of that. Lock it up for good and throw away the key!
W.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Toronto ON
Posts: 1,180
I am no "old timer"!
However, with 11 months in I qualify to comment I suppose. What has made the difference for me has been making a lifelong commitment to never drink again.
No one day at a time...no 6 months, no one year. My sobriety ends when I'm dead.
However, with 11 months in I qualify to comment I suppose. What has made the difference for me has been making a lifelong commitment to never drink again.
No one day at a time...no 6 months, no one year. My sobriety ends when I'm dead.
SR Fan
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Mississippi
Posts: 7,910
Great thread, Dan - I love all the responses! The only thing I'd add is to be aware of the mental and emotional stuff - depression, anxiety, boredom, negative self-talk, etc..... and start looking at ways to deal with those things, or get help if you feel you need it.
It's easier to stay sober when we're happy with who we are and find purpose in our lives.:day6
It's easier to stay sober when we're happy with who we are and find purpose in our lives.:day6
Member
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Toronto ON
Posts: 1,180
Originally Posted by OCDDan
Drinking is not an option
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: USA
Posts: 773
Anxiety being #1
yea, it's easy to be confident when you feel good, tomorrow is a whole different set of circumstances, nothing is garenteed in life, the plan is to not drink, and you are right, i should work on the anxiety, thanks.
yea, it's easy to be confident when you feel good, tomorrow is a whole different set of circumstances, nothing is garenteed in life, the plan is to not drink, and you are right, i should work on the anxiety, thanks.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: USA
Posts: 773
Originally Posted by Tippingpoint
I just think that a lot of the time people have a sober timeline with a "that's good enough" date on it floating around in their head. Maybe they've never gone more than 6 months before and so this plan develops to quit for at least a year...that's way better than 6 months! And then everyone is surprised when the person starts drinking on their one year anniversary!
I did go 2 years 4 months one time tho, it was miserable, i had absolutly no idea what i was doing, just not drinking and watching other people drink, very painfull.
Self recovered Self discovered
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Toronto Canada
Posts: 5,148
The idea of a cure doesn't help me at all at this point in my sobriety (9 months). It is a simple trade for me, and a choice: I can drink, or I can live. My life is not painful in the least, Dan, it is full now instead of empty. I can smile at drinkers now and watch them, and more important, watch myself be the person I choose to be.
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