brokensnowflake

Wtf am I doing with my life? I love my life but I love alcohol too! Why in the world do I have to choose?

I know...I know...because alcohol sucks!

I relapsed this past week & I just wish I could take it back...I had just 40+ days but that felt like an eternity...not to drink.

The one thing I realized today was that when I did relapse...people "knew" ...but still put out their hand to me...they actually cared...weird

I just want to be free...but i'm sad. How do I "convince" myself? I'm 32 & i feel like my whole life is over if I quit completely, yet...attending meetings, I am making "friends" which I didn't have before & this relapse really affected my new friends & I feel like crap about it.

This all just makes me crazy!

Healthyfood

brokensnowflake

Life just begins as soon as you tell yourself that you are quitting forever.

Im 32 too and I thought the same way, that my life would be boring if I quit forever. But I truly enjoy this freedom, don't have to worry about buying that poison, no depression, just being sober... enjoying the real life.
Its day 104 today.

If you get to 90 days thats when it gets really interesting!!! Try it!!!

laurie6781

(((((brokensnowflake)))))

I found recovery when I was 3 weeks shy of my 36th birthday and I too
felt as if my 'life was over.' NOT, boy was I to find out differently. My life
was JUST BEGINNING!

Those 'new friends' will stand by you. Why? Because they too have been
where you are now.

I am telling you that your life WILL GET BETTER, LOTS BETTER. I went
back to school to get a degree in a different field, got the degree, got my
license, and started my own business, taking care of the total incapacitated
and the terminally ill IN THEIR HOMES. I had a WONDERFUL career and
have a WONDERFUL LIFE to date. Yes I had to sell my company when I
was diagnosed with my own 'life threatening' illnesses, but my life is STILL
GREAT today, I have my friends, some of them in recovery, some of them
'normies' lol.

I still lead a 'full life'. You can too. I was about 10 years into recovery
when I finally had the 'courage' to go back and read my journals from my
first months sober. I SOLD myself completely short in those early months,
what I hoped and prayed would happen was so much LESS than what
actually was happening in my life.

Your life is not over, it will just be beginning!

BTW, as a side note, I found my recovery in the San Fernando Valley.
A lot of GREAT AA and Big Book Folks there, and through them I found
other GREAT meetings with more AA and Big Book Folks, all over L A
County.

J M H O

Love and hugs,

instant

ultimately freedom and alcohol are mutually exclusive.

Now I am solidly sober I can really see I was in a trap that was tightening for years.

Getting free takes what it takes

sugarbear1

My 29 year old friend just celebrated 10 years of sobriety. Another is 40 and has almost 26 years of sobriety. My 42 year old friend has 21 years of sobriety. All of these women look fantastically and fabulously young and are quite serene!

Wow, if I knew that not drinking would keep my youth looking like that, I would have stayed stopped years ago! It's not just about the outside appearance, it's the inner glow that these women have. It's my insides that matter most.

Today, I am happier than I've ever been in my 51-year lifetime. This "feeling" is more amazing than any drunk or high I've ever experienced!

AT 32, you have so many more years to stay stopped and to become a happy, joyous and free person! WOW! YOU are so worth sobriety! Happiness; that is priceless!

Who needs the booze, anyway? Life is more than what's in a bottle.

I hope you stay stopped now, your life is just beginning!!!!! Be honest with those new friends and tell them what you are feeling about the friendships you have with them. You'll grow closer to them by doing so. Mourn the loss of your old best friend, alcohol, and get your new friends to help you out. You CAN stay stopped!!

Hugs,

Fenris

To be honest, sometimes sobriety sucks. I'm expected to deal with issues like an adult when I effectively stopped maturing in my early 20s. Sometimes situations come up that push me right up against the edge and the bottle, with its promised oblivion, looks very tempting. That's when the support of my AA friends is a godsend, to talk me down off that ledge. Having an awesome sponsor definitely doesn't hurt either. Today, almost eight months away from my last drink, I wouldn't trade the worst of sobriety for the best of being drunk. It's just a no-brainer for me. It does get better. Relapses happen -- we're alcoholics, it's just what we do. But it doesn't always have to be that way for you. Don't beat yourself up. Learn from this. And move forward.

--Fenris.

hypochondriac

I'm nearly 31 and I felt like my whole life was over when I was still drinking. Since I committed to never drinking again I have realised that my life is just beginning. It's amazing how much alcohol can take away from you.

What were the reasons that you wanted to quit in the first place? I find that when I doubt my decision a quick reminder usually puts me back on the right path.

It sounds like you have some good friends there brokensnowflake...That's certainly one thing to be grateful for. Pick yourself up and get back to it x