long boring shares
 

Been sober 7 months 10 meetings a week feel ok and keep praying to my
higher power God
meetings of 25 to 30 members
How do I approach long term members who are 7 years plus sober to cut down on their sharing times at meeting
I have prayed for tolerance ect
Some are mentaly disturbed

If something is bothering me.....the problem is ME. I'M off balance, spiritually. I try to look at what part of me is so off - usually, as the book tells us, it's me being selfish - AGAIN.

The story about the actor on p 60 & 61 comes to mind......as does the middle paragraph on p62.

The solution is in the steps, of course. Acceptance, humility, realizing they - LIKE US - are sick too, and so forth.

That said......if you can't get past it......maybe it's best to avoid those meetings until you're better yourself.

Some people just like to share alot....I avoid the meetings that I know let people go on & on & on....cause it does get boring sometimes when the same person always shares....ALTHOUGH....they tell us to look for the similarities not the differences ....so I would maybe try to take it from there....

Yep, at about 7 or 8 months until about 14 months or so, I remember that, being
bored with many 'long timers' (and to me anyone over 5 years was a 'long timer,
lol) shares.

I talked with my sponsor, finished my 'step work' and started practicing how to
live the steps in all facets of my life (including meetings). Part of that was going
to meetings, and learning how to LISTEN with an OPEN HEART AND OPEN MIND. I
found that by doing that, there was ALWAYS something in every share that I could
use.

And you know what? It is still that way for me, and I will celbrate 31 years of
sobriety on June 7th. True I do not go to near as many meetings as I did in those
early years, BUT I still go to FILL BACK UP so to speak, and I still find something
in every share for me, even if it's a "thank you HP for showing me how I used to
be."

So, please talk with your sponsor about this as your sponsor can help you to learn
how to develop a new attitude for when you go to meetings.

It also may be time to check out one or two new meetings a week if there are more
in your area.

I also have to remember that you are in the UK and that the meetings and attitudes
in the UK are very different from here in the States. If you are hearing a lot of war
stories and folks staying in the 'sickness' please work on being grateful for the re-
minder of how you use to be and then go to your Big Book after the meeting and
read to help get yourself back in gratitude mode.

This will pass, as long as you continue to WORK ON YOU and keep growing and
changing.

J M H O

Love and hugs,

Welcome to SR linmer123.

There are a lot of AA meetings in the Nottingham area,have you tried different ones?

Have you discussed this with your sponsor? perhaps it is time for a group conscience.

I have learnt in recovery that the only person I can change is myself.

Well done on your 7months sobriety.

He stole what I was going to say...

Only thing I will add is that I went into those same rooms Big Book in hand like a zealot trying to change those folks, guess what? I can't change anyone. Isn't that the pinnacle of hypocrisy...trying to live spiritually while changing everyone else, lol. I will say I gained some neat experience along the way...and the amends that came out of it blew me out of the water. Hit me up if you want more details. :)

The proper venue for this is the group conscience meeting, IMHO.

Try reading page 417 in the 4th edition (449 in the 3rd edition), or read that entire story by the doctor Acceptance Was the Key, although it was called Doctor, Alcoholic, Addict in the 3rd edition and pages 66-67 also help. Dr. Paul O. wrote that story and he has some talks on xa-speakers.org --look for Paul O. under single speakers in AA. He's quite funny, too.

What step are you working on?

Tolerance, acceptance and love for all,

To echo other members in what they shared,
I too have to remember that if I find some
fault in another then usually I have the same
fault within myself. Then to remember
progress and not perfection because Im
by far not perfect and dont wish to be. I
just want to experience humility, gratefulness,
serenity, and sincerity.

There was this one guy in the meeting I attend that would basically say the exact same thing every day, regardless of what topic the chairperson chose. I mean, there were some good points in what the guy was saying, but after hearing it for the ninth time...It started to get under my skin and I started to feel resentment towards him. My sponsor put it into perspective by telling me to look around the room each day and take note of the people who weren't there the day before, who are new to AA, who might have not heard what this guy had to say before. In other words, I was being focused on my self, instead of realizing that what this guy had to share was new, and probably helpful, to at least one set of ears each day. It's all a matter of perspective and being willing to live outside of yourself.

With that said, I know that many of the people who regularly chair meetings at my home group will state at the opening of a meeting that people should limit their "shares" to five minutes or so. Take it up at a group conscious meeting or try a different meeting, but honestly, you're probably going to find people who irritate you no matter what you do...it's up to you to change your perspective.

--Fenris.

Welcome to SR...:wavey:

I am not too bothered by long shares anymore, and yea the reason for that is I looked at myself, as everyone here has shared... And I concur.

Going up to that person to get him to change his ways is a sure way to make a hot mess and disturb serenity... OTOH ... If a person is taking the meeting hostage, causing a loss of direction towards the primary purpose of AA, them it's handled on the group level... And with a proper consensus, ie, what would our higher power have us do, will become evident.

AA meetings are interesting indeed. It is a great place to observe human behavior. I like the 'parrot shares' more so that the 'passive aggressive shares'. There are comedic members that have me busting out in laughter. There are suffering member's that have me in tears. Its just a big melting pot of the human condition, people working to get well, some having a better time of than others.

So for a little parroting on my own. "it is what it is" so I accept it fully.

Hi

In addition to what others have already said...

Boring perhaps, but they have something I want. Seven plus years. So I listen attentively. Perhaps boring is better than exciting.

Best to you,

warren

When I went to CA all the shares were limited to a maximum of 5 minutes - maybe this could solve the problem?