Just anothern new drunkard
 

Hey guys,

I'm a 30 year-old male who's been drinking since college, but it never really caused me any serious problems. I moved to a South American country to be a professor in early 2009, and that's when the real crap started. By the time I came home to visit my fam and friends in the USA in early 2011, I was pretty much wasted all the time. Plus, there was an intense meanness that came out of me when I was drinking, and I had never had that problem before. Finally, I started going to AA while in the States, then I moved back to South America and learned somewhat to drink responsibly again, but about a month ago the ol' demon in the bottle came out and I found myself lying on the street at 4 am during the week completely wasted. So, I went back to the states for therapy and this week I returned to South America. I got back Monday night and within a few hours I was hitting the whiskey again. I drank Monday through last night until I looked in the mirror and said, "I can't go down this path again." So, tonight is yet another attempt of mine at staying clean. It's hard here, because this country in which I live is famous for its partying and drinking lifestyle. Casual drinking is just a part of life. In fact, today I saw some old dude just sipping on a cold one around 11 am. It's 11 pm right now and I know that all of my friends are out at a rock show downtown, but I know that if I go I'll crave "just one" and by the end of the night I'll be telling some strange woman that I'm in love with her or picking a fight with a friend. I can't keep doing this crap. Also, I take medication for bipolar disorder and anxiety, so mixing all of those chemicals with booze scares me. I'm here to hear advice, words of comfort and others who've had to give up the bottle. Thanks for letting me join the community.

Welcome Wellington, today is day 1 for me too. Stay strong. This site has been a valuable resource for me today. Keep checking in and you will get the encouragement you need. Stay on the site all night if you have to, just don't pick up that first drink. Life will be better when we are no longer drunks.

Don't fantasize about drinking. It's so disgusting. I relapsed a couple of days ago, and the whole time I was drunk I just wanted it to go away. I don't know why I drank for so many years, what a waste of time.

Well, well, Wellington...hey there! I gotta ask why you keep going back for another ass kicking....why not stay in a safer country at least until you have some good sobriety banked? ....good love, mags

Welcome Wellington! I'm also bipolar. I'm no doctor and am not pretending to be, but mixing booze with bipolar meds is really dangerous. In fact, that's what forced me to stop. I had to choose between taking my meds for my bipolar which meant getting off booze or quitting my meds and boozing my way down the rabbit hole. I cannot do meds and alcohol. If i was a normal drinker, I could have a little wine here and there but who does THAT? No one on this forum! I have a dual diagnosis and I need to address both areas: medication for the mental illness and treatment for the addiction (support groups like AA, counseling or whatever). Doing both brings recovery; doing only one does not. That's what someone here in SR shared with me when I first came around here a month ago, and it brought clarity to my situation and helped me commit to my own sobriety.

Hope this helps.

You deserve to get better. This is your life!

Zorah

Some of us are into repetitive ass kickings...I got a question for you...Sounds like AA worked for you shortly...Do they not have AA in that town you are in?

And give up on the idea of learning to somewhat drink responsibly....That just not something guys like us can learn.

Hi Welligton,
You sound like the same type of drunk I am. I've passed out under park benches after getting in fist-fights with friends, started most likely because I was hitting on their girlfriends haha. As my drinking progressed, I went from being a happy, fun drunk to a mean and belligerent one. I knew I had to stop because I am a danger to myself and others when drinking. One sure sign I knew I had a serious problem: being arrested by the same cop on two different occasions a year apart.

Good luck to you too--thanks for the support!

You're right about it being a total waste of time--It's just so damn addictive. Good for you for staying with the sobriety after your relapse.

Hi Wellington

I'm not in South America but I live in a country where drinking is encouraged and drunkenness is tolerated in many respects too...but my drinking stole my relationships, it stole my health.... it stole my career and it damn nearly stole my life.

There has to come a time when you say enough and stop caring about what other people can or can't do, I think.

SR changed my life - you'll find a lot of support here :)
Welcome :)

D

If I know myself, the ass kickings are gonna come no matter where I'm living, if I continue with the booze.

Thanks for the support--I was truly an idiot to mix so many chemicals together like that!

I think AA exists around here--that's a good idea. It certainly couldn't hurt!

You and I are definitely the same. Luckily I never had any fist fights but I was the king of starting verbal altercations. Thanks for the support!

Pleased to meet you, Wellington! It's great to have you part of us. You aren't alone anymore, we all understand.

You are learning early what it took me into my 50's to figure out - you can't control yourself once that first drink hits your system. I spent decades trying to moderate my intake. In the end I was drinking 'round the clock - a total zombie, living in a numbed-out fog. This is supposed to be fun? It sounds like you realize there's nothing in it for you but danger and misery. Glad to have you here with us - you can stop allowing alcohol to ruin your life - we'll be happy to help. Congratulations on your decision.

Thanks for the welcome and the kind words.

It's got to be better than doing what you're doing.

Thank you so much. I don't want to end up on the streets because I couldn't put down a bottle.