Ryan62686

Hello All,
I am a text book alcoholic at least. I have gotten drunk every night, save for a few, for the last 3 years. I am here not because it affects my life but because I know its affecting my health. Not to mention I smoke, but I have switched half and half to an e-cigarette, however that's neither here nor there. I drink because I enjoy it very much, and I'm hoping my goal will be possible with your help. I wish to socially drink like I used to, but as it is soft drinks of any kind aren't adequate, I know science and I know that's the addiction but is it possible to reach that goal?

I'm a former Marine, my family has heavy Irish roots, even in the IRA, that's how deeply Irish my family goes, drinking is our culture, I just feel I've taken it too far.

I've been married for nearly 4 years and now, and because of my habbits my wife drinks as I do. Our tolerance is off the charts... I drank a half handle of rum before this message, I feel sober... There is no more "drunk" for me or my wife, there is sober-then blackout, then wake up. I feel its dangerous and our livers are the ones feeling the pain. Just want to know if there's anything we can do to focus on cutting down yet not give up completely.

I have a strange addictive personality, when I find something I enjoy I enjoy it to the fullest, yet when removed I'm not bothered. Any former military will tell you when on deployment or even detachment alcohol is forbidden... Never bothered me when I couldn't, its just when I can. Is this familiar or is this an anomaly?

Any and all advice is welcome, how do you drastically cut down without quitting entirely?

Sapling

Welcome Ryan62686...To answer your question...I think if there was...You or I wouldn't be here. I'm an alcoholic...I drank like you. It was all or nothing for me.....I had to quit for good...Or die. Doesn't get much simpler than that. Glad you are here....There are ways to stop. Some great people here.

CarolD

When I tried to return to social drinking...I failed many times.
Perhaps you can....I am am alcoholic who could not.

You mentioned health...perhaps this link will interest you

Alcohol Chemistry and You

Welcome...all my best to you and your wife ...
Thank you for your service to our country

ACT10Npack

The text book alcoholic is a myth and it's general comes from the movies. If it does not bother you if you don't have alcohol is something you will know after you try to get sober. Not drinking a day or two for 3 years will not give you that answer. Try to stay sober for a month and see if the craves/urges are. Personal I don't care for alcohol until I start getting a panic attack and then it sets in for me I need a drink. After that I'm gone for days or even week of been drunk.

Good luck on your sobriety. I hope it's not that hard to quit because a lot of us(most) it is.

Ryan62686

You can just call me Ryan, you know I don't feel like an alcoholic, but I know I am, it's a strange feeling. I think its just that, I want to be a social drinker like I was but deep down I don't think its likely, every time I stop for 24 hours (pls don't laugh lol) I feel nothing but the next drink I have feels so divine. I have thought about complete abstinence, I just really don't want it, I just want to go back to the normal person that occasionally drank on the weekends. I don't want AA, I don't need it, just here to find out if anyone has had success limiting themselves.... Only two replies so far but looks like that's the answer... eh : /

May I beg your experiences before sobriety? It's fine if its personal. To me I'm just concerned about my health.... my liver has to be dying with my habbits, I know that, looking for ways out. My drinking isn't emotional its just entertainment so to speak, and I know it needs to stop I just need a channel to make that happen you know... BTW that handle of rum is gone... fricken feelin sober.... wtf? I hate it so much because I'm coherent just as I am now and then pow i wake up missing hours of life that i'll never remember.

Ryan62686

Well its strange. I don't get panic attacks, but I almost obsessive compulsively think about how there's no alcohol in the house. I remember being on duty section (can't drink for 72 hours) in the USMC, and it made me feel awkward, I drank anyway, maybe a couple here and there, not enough for a buzz or otherwise but I hated those weekends because I felt trapped. Its not so much that I want to get trashed... but I just don't have a "stop" button... and then I stop remembering things. Please Thor let me remember these posts :P

Ryan62686

I succeeded once, for 6 months after getting drunk every night for TWO years, and then a terrible thing happened. I wasn't self medicating or anything but it brought me back down the rabbit hole, and here i've sat since. I still work, never late, and going to school, never late or miss a class, but once the sun goes down I drop bottles... not beer heh. When my tolerance went through the roof I started wondering, and here I am..

Ryan62686

Its a strange situation as well because my wife now drinks like I do because of how I've been drinking, we both know we're over the top, we just need some advice to quit or at the minimum cut down. we're spending about at least 100 a week on hard booze cause that's the minimum that gives us a buzz or more. Throwing money out the door for recreational nights. We're both strong minded people, is it just cold turkey? Or is there a tone down method?

Ryan62686

Whats sad and impressive is that while I'm typing impeccably, I also speak the same. However, at gatherings and parties, as soon as I hear myself slur, I know the blackout its minutes away. At that point there's nothing I can do, and I feel fine, until the slur.

edit:
My buddy from high school is a cop now, he was at one of my parties and gave me a breathalyzer maybe 3/4 through the party for fun and I blew a .8-something, and I remember it, to give you an idea of where my blackout range is. It scares me because apparently my blackout is above the death range. I mean I remember things where I should be dead.

HitRockBottom70

I think it's cold turkey Ryan. I tried the moderation thing and failed miserably. Good luck to you and your wife. Hopefully you beat this before it destroys your lives. There are great people on here that can support you and your journey.

Sapling

I drank from the age of 15 to the age of 51...Daily. The last two or three years it just wasn't working. I drank to pass out and woke up to drink again. I didn't even get drunk....Just numb. But if I didn't have it...I'd shake bad....I'd shake bad if I knew I was getting low on it. I was sick. I had to finally go see a doctor....He told me he'd seen worse livers than mine...But if I kept going like I was I was dead. I didn't think I was ready for AA either....But I knew I couldn't stop on my own. I threw myself into it....Worked the steps and haven't had a drink in 10 months. Want to give yourself a good scare?....Try stopping for 90 days....That will show you how bad this stuff can get it's claws in you. You'd be surprised what you are willing to do when you have to. Good luck to you Ryan...This is a good site for support no matter what you end up doing. One thing thing I did learn...That this isn't a problem that gets better with time.

glitter

Hi Ryan,

I am coming up on two years of sobriety (June 18th)....knock on wood.

It sounds like you have tried to control your drinking in the past and you end up at the same place you are now.

Respectfully, what makes you think it will be different this time?

Ryan62686

Thank you Sapling and everyone else,

Pretty much telling me what I already knew. It poison it really is... I mean even the DEA rates alcohol as the 5th most dangerous and addictive drug in the world and its legal, meanwhile ecstasy is #16 per capita which swim has done hundreds of doses of and still scores barely under genius on official IQ tests. I really appreciate your input all, I don't think I need AA, but I do think both my wife and I need cold turkey. I get really apprehensive when there's low or no alcohol in the house... even if its not enough to get a buzz (which is a bottle of vodka for me now). How did I get here? Out of my mind. But I guess you have to know you know you have a problem when you're on an alcoholic forum at 3 in the morning after a handle of rum and you feel fine...

seanie1888

Hi Ryan and welcome.
You want to be a normal drinker?
don't we all bud.
Most people on here say its full duck or no dinner, I agree with action, try 30 days sober and see how you feel, mayb try another 30, longer??
I gave myself 90 days to see how I felt, I got there and felt great so I said rite I'll try for a year, I think all the time of going back to normal drinking, but I'm afraid that it will end up like all the other times I tried - a mess!
If like me all you can think of is booze when you getting sober then mayb say to self, hey maybe we do have a bit of a problem here lets do something about it.
Being a paddy like you I know all to well about how much booze is a part of everything we do, but believe me that is changing, Irish attitudes to always being the drunk in the room is changing, there is nothing better than few drinks having the craic, but went the craic leaves and the problem arrives, then its not much craic is it.
Take care man and keep us updated on how its goin

glitter

I personally could not get past the obsession. The detox part was a breeze in comparison and we all know how much that sucks. For me, it has to be complete and total abstience or I die a long miserable death.

I think face to face time with other alcoholics is essential in recovery and I don't mean face to face with a drinking partner when you are both trying to stop.

There are many options to meet other alcoholics in recovery. AA is just one (but a really good one).

It IS hard to stop. It DOES get better. You don't HAVE to drink.

All the best to you.

Ryan62686

TBH I don't Glitter,

I did control it, and I was sober for 6 months, and by sober I mean I was the DD for bars, have a couple drinks and then go to water and no home alcohol. Lets just say a male hitting on my wife getting shot by my beautiful sig 1911 .45 as opposed to having some Jameson... drastically changed that scenario logically. I opted for the Jameson. Lets thank Amen Ra for that one. Angry Marines are dangerous, just thankful i didnt do anything over the top.

DayTrader

Whoo waah! Welcome Marine! (lots of my Citadel classmates are Marines).

"Text Book" alkie...hmm....what text book? I'm half-joking.

AA considers their book a "text book" - a book of knowledge, with sets of directions, "homework," and a specific outcome - becoming recovered.

AA's definition has nothing to do with amounts you drink, when (evening, AM, etc), at bars, at home, alone, to escape, no mention of health, no mention of blackouts, nothing to do with switching from beer to hard alcohol...........none of that stuff. AA's definition has 2 components + and extra one (#3 determines what "type" of alcoholic you are - chronic or acute).

1. craving - ONCE YOU START, do you crave more? when you have a couple, do you usually want more?

2. obsession - wanting to drink when you're sober - in spite of what happened "last time," in spite of consequences, and -- in spite of "deciding" not to........do you sometimes start up anyway? The inability to stay stopped.

those 2 = almost always slcoholic

3. spiritual malady -- this is a little tougher to identify at first and probably best left to a "12-Step" area discussion.

Ryan62686

Maybe I do need it I don't know, I'm at the point where even though I don't allow myself to be.... I want to be drunk all the time, but I can't anymore, by the time I'm drunk I'm blackout range.

Ryan62686

Well by text book i mean what the books say, 5 binge drinks a week makes you an alchie...if that's so I've been one since high school... but that's bs.... wanting alcohol every day is alcoholism to me. That's where me and my wife are at.... at least it still makes her sleepy (sleeping).

BadendBiker

I've lived in Brighton for 3 years now. I used to live on the Isle of Wight. It wasn't until I left the Island that I realised I didn't miss any of my friends. Why? Cos they were drinking buddies and I don't need a buddy to drink. Here I am on day 9 of sobriety and I am only just beginning to see that. I have my family and a couple of close friends. They drink but no to excess. The thing I noticed about them all is how they have so many other things to do. This is now how I am trying to live my life. More and more to do with my time. We recently started a bike breaking business and I am throwing everything I have physically and mentally into it.
What has worked for me so far is making a sober decision to quit the day before a massive party. I told myself that as of the Saturday I wouldn't drink any more. The party was a hoot and I only drank 8 beers from 6pm through to 4am. Since then I haven't had a drink. My other half drinks but she is also now looking at quitting. I think it's easier with 2 of you as you can talk about what you're going through as you're both going through roughly the same thing.
Best of British luck to you fella. You can do it.