Jeni26

Thank you so much everyone. You help me more than you know.
Just found out that the guys thought it would be a laugh to play with a BB gun while they were drinking last night. Not even sure what that is but a few of them have shot marks on their bodies, one of them has a mark on his cheek which he had covered. How one of them wasn't blinded is a miracle.
I will just take this a day at a time as you say. Look to widen my circle of friends and learn from this.
I didn't drink. I'm free to make my choices. My life is just beginning.
I would be lost without SR. You're all so important to me. Have a restful Sunday everyone xxx

kittycat3

Hi jeni, I can relate to all of this. It's sad, it's ok to feel sad. You are saying goodbye to an old way of life and in a way, old friends. You are seeing what things are really like sober. I think it's wonderful that you can say your old life is not what you want. Don't worry too much yet about the "where do I belong" part. That will come. There is so much more greatness ahead of you! Believe that and you will make it through these difficult times gracefully.

Leemzer

I agree with many what many others have said. First of all, congratulations! That is never easy. I did it once when my wife and I had a HUGE Christmas party once and I drank club soda and cranberry juice all night long. I felt deceptive because I didn't tell anyone I wasn't drinking, but I didn't feel the need to say a damn thing. One of my wife's friends asked to taste my drink but I said I had a cold. =) I had all of my bases covered. It was extraordinary to see how plastered everyone got and all of the different phases everyone went through that night. From quiet to happy to loud to louder to raucous to some women getting upset with their husbands to vice versa, and then the inevitable crash. My wife barely drinks and she knew what I was up to and it was amazing when everyone left cleaning up (my wife will never let us go to sleep with even on bottle not in the trash) and feeling amazing at 3 am. I woke up the next day and we got so many call with how fun the party was but so many people sounded terrible and more than a couple missed work on that Monday (and the party was on SATURDAY). I think it is perfectly normal to mourn the loss of the seemingly fun times because that is what we would like to remember. But some of those men and women that were at the respective houses where you were last night feel absolutely terrible today and just think how many of them have regrets, like perhaps the guy with the BB mark on his face...how frightening could that outcome have been and these are grown men? It is also normal to not want "that life anymore" and to worry about where it will go....I think start with yourself, feel the collective hug from all of us at SR, and that life will sort itself out just fine. For now you have a HUGE bank of strength to draw upon because if anyone was going to relapse that would have been the perfect time....but you DIDN'T. And THAT, Jeni, is AMAZING!!!!
Big hugs,
lee

Jeni26

Thanks lee, I burst into tears reading that!!
You are amazing, all of you. Thank you xxxx