Michael66

We're rooting for you Jeni. It's OK to be awkward about making polite conversation. I know that tomorrow morning you won't regret being awkward in conversation if it meant you had a sober night.

Jeni26

Thanks, just arrived and gone straight to phone for my SR fix! Will be ok. Just got to relax a bit, feel so up-tight!

Sapling

Chill....Don't let them make asses out of themselves. You'll do great.

Michael66

We're here supporting you tonight

Healthyfood

Jeni26

If it really gets a little scary just think about the fact that the booze will be empty at some point and it will be time to go to bed. Some drunk and hangover, but some SoBer and happy.

BadendBiker

Good luck to you mate. You'll be just fine.

workingknee

Hey Jeni, Thinking of you tonight, hoping and praying (in some capacity) that you make it through tonight, and the next month and the rest of your life. We all have to go back into life again and be among people who drink, or places where there is alcohol - sometimes we are thrust into these situations before we're ready, or perhaps we never are truly ready - that you are doing it, and going through the anxiety and struggle is something I think WE ALL feel and understand. You are doing something great, you are joining parts of your life with your beautiful sober self - aligning the new you, stepping into a potential war zone with your wits, and your grace and holding tight to dignity. We are all with you tonight. Keep checking in if you need to - and think about a great sober stretch tomorrow, a nice walk in the fresh air with clear thinking, the sky -expansive, open and gentle.

You know sobriety is great, so hold tight.

Hugs to you. xxx

Michael66

Still thinking of you Jenni. You're not alone.

Spinach

Go enjoy your evening.
John.

Hollyanne

I hope you enjoy tonight and don't have to go through that again until you are ready.
Kind of annoyed with your husband for not being more supportive.
A bit ridiculous that at 5 weeks you have to not only leave your own house, but go into an uncomfortable environment.
A cyber smack up the side of the head to himself!

Jeni26

Hi guys, thank you so much for your wonderful support.
Yes, I did it. Think I spent so much of the evening on the edge of my seat in a sort of red alert status, that there was no way I would have caved.
I don't feel elated though this morning, just kind of sad that I know how much my life will need to change. I was just like an observer last night. I couldnt relax or participate. Everyone was drunk and the longer the evening went on, the louder and more incoherent they became, and the less I felt comfortable. That was how I was just a few weeks ago. The realisation of how far I have moved away from that really hit me.
I don't belong here any more.
Trouble is, I'm not sure where I do fit in.
Don't be mad at my husband Hollyanne. He is an alcoholic and a good man. He has no idea of my struggles last night and I worry about him, and hope he will soon face his demons. The texts I had last night certainly suggested they too were blissfully drunk and happy.
I don't want this life any more. Waking up in a strange bed on a Sunday morning wishing I was at home, but knowing home at the moment isn't mine cos it's full of hungover guys.
The whole event has left me really unsettled.
Where do I belong now? It certainly isn't in the life I have now.

Sorry for rambling guys. The whole point of the message was to let you know that thanks to you I didn't drink. Onwards and upwards xxxx

Sapling

Good job Jeni....You might have to make some changes in your life...But look what you'll be missing,

ACT10Npack

Just tell them that your not drinking tonight. Plain and simple. Don't have to go on a long story on why. Most people will not care anyway if it's a social thing and not a frat party.

Michael66

Well done Jeni!

You're probably a bit drained at the moment - I wouldn't worry too much about your 'place' at the moment. I'm sure you'll sort things out soon enough - if others are drinking a lot then the chances are at least a few of them will want to follow your example. You may be just the example your husband and others need around them. That's kinda neat - that you can bless others with your sobriety as well as blessing yourself.

I hope you manage to have a more relaxing day today.

Jeni26

Thanks Michael. You've been great. I cried all the way home, not even sure why but think this weekend has been quite traumatic in its own way.
I got home, have cleared out all the empties and rubbish the guys have left lying about. A couple of them are still here watching DVDs and laying across my living room floor.
Got some work to do this afternoon so I will get on with preparing for next week and try to blot them out.
I can't understand why I'm so upset really. This was my life and it used to be ok. It just isn't any more. I don't want it.

Danica2011

Way to go Jeni. Isn't it an awakening to be the sober one in a crowd of drunks? You realize then, what you looked like... it's not pretty, is it? We have to keep remembering that... I am so proud of you that you didn't drink at your sister in law's place. It would have been easy just to sink back into that pattern. Did you sister in law question you about not drinking? That would have been the tough part to me. I went out with friends shortly after I had made the decision to stop drinking and one friend kept asking me why I wasn't having any wine... She just couldn't believe it! I hope you get home soon and can enjoy your day. Are you a mum? It's mother's day! Take care, Danica

Jeni26

I made up an excuse about alcohol giving me stomach problems as to why I wasn't drinking. Is partly true anyway. Idid get a few questions early on and had to repeat my story a few times but they forgot about it once they were drunk fortunately.
Can't wait to get to my meeting tonight. Is where I truly feel at home these days.

Spinach

Your test has worked, no need to feel down ,tired maybe ,longing for your bed certainly but with reflection you will see another way.
The weekend was big drinks in both houses.
Not much fun for the sober and not much fun for some drunks.
You know that now, so as not to stop them for everyone take all that money you saved and go away for the night meet an old friend go somewhere new. Try that.
You are leaving one way of life for another they are mainly inclusive but not all the time.
Time to celebrate the difference.
Glad you made it through the night.
John.

Hollyanne

I just remembered an incident a couple of years ago.
I was off drink for 2 years before, (long story).
I went to a wedding in Dublin and it was a typical Irish wedding.
I ended up at 6am in the morning outside the historic Shelbourne Hotel just chatting with some people who were passing by and I was so glad not to be suffering like many of the other guests.
After a few hours sleep in a very expensive bed, I met up with the others who exclaimed at how well I looked! "How are you so fresh?!!!". On and on.
They had no idea that I wasn't drinking. People just go on and drink and forget about the abstainers. I think half the plants were dead though from the "shots" I did. lol

Glad you got over this. I will go easy on the hubby.
You don't have to, nor is it advised that you make any big changes in your life at this stage. Just keep on keepin' on as they say. It will all work out. One day at a time.
Rather than eliminating people at this stage, add sober, like-minded people and lessen contact with people who do not share your new-found path.
You will be surprised when others start wanting what you have, and not the other way around.
:ghug3

hypochondriac

Well done Jeni! You did really well. I'm at the same stage as you at the moment...wondering where I fit in. I'm trying not to think about it. I'm a great believer in making lots of small changes. It must be hard for you with your husband still drinking and you should be incredibly proud of what you have achieved so far. Lots of Love xxx