CBear10

Hello All! I am so glad I found this place last night. I've been dealing with things for a few months and had nowhere to turn to get things off my chest. Looking for any help, advice, or excouraging words.

Back in January I left a friends house on a Friday night and headed home. This was 4 streets away at 1am. Well you know the old story, I was drinking, my headlights were out, and cops that were watching a local bar followed me. I'll spare the details but I was arrest AT MY HOME for dui. They pulled me over and I did the sobriety tests literally in my car port. I was taken down, booked, and allowed to take a cab home.

My license is currently suspended due to end this week with the condition I install one of those nightmare interlock devices in my car. My court date was pushed back the first time as my lawyer wasnt in town. I was due back for a 2nd appearance a few weeks ago but that got moved to May 24th. Not really sure what I'm asking for here, I guess if anyone has gone thru this experience. I worked 30 minutes away and had to leave my job. I hated the job anyone and wanted to use it as an opportunity to spend time looking for something closer to home. Well, now that that has not happend, im really starting to get worried. I may never get hired anywhere again with this on my record. Aside from the financial burden with court costs, my lawyer fees, etc I am starting to have anxiety about my future all over again.

Thing is, sooo many people have dui's, and the ones I know seem to be doing just fine in life now. But I cant escape the idea that mine will never ever be the same. I don't know if I'll ever be able to travel with a criminal record, find another job, or hell, I definately wont be able to date while that breathalyzer is in my car. I know what I did was horrible wrong, so I'm not looking for any scolding please. I didnt think driving 10 mph 4 streets over would ruin my life. I'm just trying to get any insight or experiences. Over the last few months talking with my lawyer and such, my mind was put at ease, but all of the sudden these fears are creeping back up and causing sleepless nights and anxiety. I hear people's stories, and I read stuff online and one second I get the feeling that 1st offense isnt a big deal and jsut learn from it, then the next I read stuff that your life is basically over. I dont knwo what to think and I'm looking for advice.

Obviously this has caused me to try and work on myself. Actually I've been trying to do that for 2+ years after a breakup. I've been pretty unhappy in life since then and don't have much going on in my life. Thats why having drinks with my friends seems like it was something I needed to do because I didnt have much else going on and wasn't really enjoying life. I'm trying to work on that, but its going to be even tougher if I won't get hired anywhere and my life is in shambles because of a bad mistake one night.

sugarbear1

Welcome to SR!

Do you think you have a problem with alcohol? Are you really ready to stay stopped?

I know that other people here have gone through similar circumstances as you and will be around sooner or later. I don't have experience with the courts or with DUI's.

I do have a problem with alcohol. I finally stopped and have stayed stopped for almost one year now. My life is so much happier without alcohol in my life.

You are very lucky you did not hurt anyone. You have been blessed with an opportunity to change your life around for the better because of this DUI.

If you are ready to stay stopped, there are programs available to help you. I use the 12 steps of AA, which has changed my life greatly. You can search: aa city state and you can probably get a ride to a meeting (find the site that has aa.org in it and you will get the actual AA phone site where you can call your local intergroup office to find someone for a ride). I've witnessed miracles happen in AA (I began in 1986 at the age of 25, fought it all and finally decided to stay stopped at the age of 50--life is truly full of quality today!).

AVRT, SMART, Rational Recovery, addiction counseling, Women for Sobriety are available.

By reading your post, I feel you are concerned due to this one night and one bad decision. Are you being truly honest with yourself?

Was it ONE bad decision or a series of bad decisions? Are you ready to stay stopped for you or for the courts? Only you can answer these questions. I need no response.

You've found a wonderfully supportive site! Stick around for a while. Glad you are here!

Peace,

Fenris

Welcome to SR, CBear. I can only speak from my own experience: a first-offense DUI is a pain-in-the-a** for about a year, but your life isn't over. You'll get through this. My first suggestion to you is to stop reading about this stuff online. It doesn't seem to be doing your anxiety much good. Listen to your lawyer. Don't get in any more trouble, especially between now and your court date. And lastly, I have yet to run into any problem or situation in life that I could make better by worrying about it. Hope something in there helps.

--Fenris.

Anna

I think you should hope for the best, but prepare for some problems. Yes, if you have a criminal record, it will impact job-searching because it will be found out. And, yes travelling out of the country could be a problem.

But, look on the bright side and know that you are lucky that you didn`t injure or kill anyone that night. You have a chance to change your life and be a better person. Try to have faith in what your lawyer says and hopefully the case won`t be delayed any longer. It will be good for you to get some closure in this. In the meantime, stay sober and be able to show the court that you are working on recovery.

CBear10

Thank you both for the welcome and for your quick responses.
I am in WV by the way and blew a 1.87. pretty high so thats what has me worried. At the risk of sounding like many others, I do not think I have a problem. I've generally only drank once or twice a week while watching a game with my friends or after work. I normally, unless i am single like I am now, wouldnt really drink at all. I was usually pretty good with not driving, but this time being so close to home I made the bad decision to get my car home. And it cost me.

Im very fortunate to have a very understanding mother who said will help me with the finances of this all. I'm wrapping up my 45 day license suspension soon and will now have to start applying for the classes and interlock device. Which I have heard nothing but horror stories about. Ive tried so hard to keep a level head and just roll with it but there are days, much like yesterday were I was just miserable all day. THing is, I know a few people that are going thru this right now. I'm not sure of all their details, but they seem to be doing alright. I guess I should use that as encouragement.

Like I said, if anything I think I may need to seek depression consoling, as I'm not always in the best moods, and as an only child who hasnt dated in nearly 3 years, not the most thrilled with my life right now. I think tahts what causes me to drink. Not that I NEED to, just i guess boredom. I exercise everyday, love being outdoors, and usually like to go the entire work week without drinking. But once the weekend hits, I just dont like being home alone so I meet friends to watch a game for some drinks.

sugarbear1

again, those 12 steps saved my life and change me. no depression, no irrational fears, no social phobias....a brand new me!

I think you blew a .187 or you'd be dead for certain. I once had a roommate have a .61, laughing and making jokes while standing in the hospital (took him to get detoxed)..... .61 is awfully high....

Welcome to Area 73 AA | West Virginia Alcoholics Anonymous Official Web Site

Peace and best wishes,

tincanray

Hey, New. Sorry to hear about your trials and tribulations. I can empathize with you because I felt the same way after my first DUI (1980), and my 2nd (1981), 3rd (1982), 4th (1992), and 5th (2002). I have rolled and totaled four vehicles, miraculously escaping serious injury (a broken collarbone was the worst) and thankfully hurt no one else. Even then, I wouldn't admit that I had an alcohol problem and continued to drink and drive, putting my life and others on the line, time after time. I was not born stupid, I made myself that way.

Additionally, I acquired a great love for weed and would often go out stoned and drunk. As a result, I lost 4 jobs because of testing positive during random drug tests - dumb and getting dumber! After the last job loss, being old enough for early retirement, I quit the work force so I could devote myself full time to using and abusing, finally achieving total idiocy.

My situation changed two years ago when my 13 year-old son came to live with me. By then, I was beginning to become very dissatisfied with my lifestyle and was contemplating change, so his presence was a key factor for making that change. My sobriety did not happen immediately as my addiction continued to pull me down, but eventually, I was able to get to the point where I am now, 5 months alcohol free and 4 DAYS pot free (I'm not celebrating yet, I've still got to get through today and then work on the rest of my life).

These transitions have not been easy but the vision of a healthy future with my son is very appealing to me and that is what I am striving for, a healthy future.

I guess, what I am trying to say is that I know how badly you feel, how scared you may be, and how bleak your immediate future may look. Press on, man, your immediate future will soon become your history. There is a good life waiting for you to make the right decisions to live it. Good luck to you.

Jitterbugg

Hi Cbear,
I had a DUI a few years ago. One year suspension, fine, and interlock etc. Fortunately, I live downtown in a big city and I take the subway to work, so it didnt affect me as far as transport. I havent had a car since. However, I have had job offers pulled because it shows a criminal record. Its been over 5 years now, so I am eligible for a pardon, but it was always awkward to indicate it on job apps. The good news is that many employers won't automatically shut the door because of it. I am straight forward about it if they ask and most employers don't really care too much unless there are strict company policies. I have had 5 different jobs since. Most employers are more concerned about felonies or fraud convictions. One DUI is not indicative of a dishonest or criminal person.

I was terrified too and had to get a lawyer etc. I blew about the same as you...also was caught leaving a bar at 1am...pulled over within sight of my house. It really seems like I could have written your post word for word 5 years ago to describe my experience. I actually had to transfer to a different office because I couldnt drive.

I know you are freaking out right now and worried about the future, but, just as long as you learned your lesson and stay out of trouble, this will pass and you shouldnt have too many problems in the future. It's just a real b*tch to deal with haha.

flickedhisbic

This is phenomenal advice. Not the same situation but I got in a fight while drunk and was facing some pretty big charges. I was an anxious wreck over it too and feeling horrible because the situation was 100% preventable if I hadn't of been drunk. Really the best thing you can do is stop looking at things online, stop listening to your friends, listen to your lawyer and go to AA. Get documentation while you're there too it can only help you.

headstrong

I don't have any experience with a DUI, but I did get plenty of experience with the courts last year. Take a look at the Serenity Prayer. Really think about those words. You have no control over the courts or who your next employer might be. The only thing you have control over is yourself. You can't worry about the other things. What you can to is be proactive. The courts like to see that. Check out AA. Go with an open mind. Take with you the tools that you can use and leave the rest behind. Find a good AODA counselor. See them before the court orders you to go. Show the courts that you accept responsibility that you did, recognize that there may be (I'm not saying there is) a problem with alcohol, and get to work.

I had several dates that were moved. It was never pleasant to find out that you have to wait another month to find out what the courts are going to do. It is the unknown that I was afraid of. I think that is natural.

Taking5

This. Coordinate this with your lawyer, but you're going to be sentenced to AA meetings anyway, if you do them up front and bring documentation it might help with the judge. Your lawyer should know how to document your attendance.

Dee74

Welcome to SR CBear and tincanray

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