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Old 05-11-2012, 09:24 AM   #1 (permalink)
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Beer and when to stop


Hi everyone,

Not sure where to start really...I'm a 29 yr old male who would like some
advice.
I'll just write below what I drink to give you and idea then questions
below

Mon - 4 Cans of 4% lager (so I can sleep due to the weekends binging)

Tues - nothing
Weds - nothing
Thurs - few cans at home, usually between 4 and 6 cans
Fri - 7 or 8 pints or so of 4% lager in pub

Sat - 8 or 9 pints or so of 4% lager in pub


I know that there is an issue with alcoholism here. I don't deny that to
anyone. I just love beer.

I don't smoke, I don't do drugs and I rarely drink spirits...maybe the odd
Jagerbomb or tequila shot once a month.

Fitness, I run 3 days a week for 35mins a time, I play squash twice a
week, and at the weekends I wakeboard for around 2 hrs. I sky dive twice a
month also.

There is a lot of drinking in my group of friends, we enjoy the pub a lot.

A few weekends ago I stayed in and didnt drink anything and it was the most
boring weekend I've ever had, I was SO BORED.

So I am stuck...I know I can stay off booze if I absolutely had to, but my
life would be dull...so I continue to drink

My habits havent got any worse or better, just keep doing the same old
thing, so do you have any advice for me please?

Thanks
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Old 05-11-2012, 09:29 AM   #2 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TROLL265 View Post
My habits havent got any worse or better, just keep doing the same old
thing, so do you have any advice for me please?
Welcome TROLL265....It's not really advice....But I can promise you those habits will get worse. Never better. I loved beer too.
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Old 05-11-2012, 09:30 AM   #3 (permalink)
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Hi and Welcome,

It sounds like you`ve decided what you intend to do.

No one can decide for you if you are an alcoholic or not. It`s a decision you need to make yourself. And, it`s not about how much or how often you drink, it`s about how alcohol affects you when you drink. It takes a lot of motivation to stop drinking and to recover though, and I don`t hear that kind of passion in your post.

I do hope that you read around the boards and get a feeling for the support we offer and I hope that you decide to stop drinking.
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Old 05-11-2012, 09:35 AM   #4 (permalink)
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Do you want to quit? If so, than try going cold turkey for a month and see how that makes you feel. If you can't remove beer from your life for just one month then you've got some thinking to do. It's not the amount of alcohol you drink but what it's doing to/for you. There's something there that's eating at you telling you that there's something wrong. Also, you're doing some rationalizing. Drinking to sleep and breaking it down by the numbers. I personally would try the abstinence test and see if i could be comfortable in my own skin for a month before i decided whether or not i could ever drink again.
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Old 05-11-2012, 09:37 AM   #5 (permalink)
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Sounds like you are not sure if you have a problem or not. Unfortunately that is something each of us must decide on our own.

I can tell you that for me I realized I needed to stop when starting to drink ment that I could not stop until a blackout or simply making a fool of myself.

As for being dull? I was more dulled drinking to what really matters. I am finding I still laugh and have fun just differently.

Knowing when to deal with drinking is tricky. I realize this may not offer any real solutions but the fact you asked the questions here should tell you that somewhere and for some reason you feel you are on the wrong path.

Best of luck and hope you do what ever is right for you.

Ken
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Old 05-11-2012, 09:43 AM   #6 (permalink)
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What advice are you seeking?

It's clear you are already not thinking clearly nor have you researched the effects of ethanol alcohol on the body.

Yeah, a bit harsh here. Alcohol interrupts proper sleeping, both REM sleep and SWS (slow wave sleep), so it's a delusion that "alcohol helps you to sleep." Boredom? I don't know your definition of "boredom," but I see it as the mind's inability to put the body into action. Alcohol also interrupts dopamine and seratonim and other things, besides damaging all of our body's cells.

Alcoholism has little to do with how much or how often one drinks. Alcohol tends to be a solution to dealing with life.

Do you think you have a problem or not? Are you ready to live a completely healthy life?

Again, I'm so confused as to what you are seeking here on a site devoted to those who believe they may have a problem with alcohol and are seeking support to stay stopped.

I'm not trying to be mean.

Read around the site. Go into the "archives" and read old posts. The problems and the questions don't change too much over the years.

Whatever you are seeking, I hope you find it!

I wish you only the best in life.

Peace,
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Old 05-11-2012, 09:59 AM   #7 (permalink)
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Welcome.

Quote:
Originally Posted by TROLL265 View Post
So I am stuck...I know I can stay off booze if I absolutely had to, but my
life would be dull...so I continue to drink
Life would be dull without alcohol? This doesn't sound that exciting:

Mon - 4 Cans of 4% lager (so I can sleep due to the weekends binging)

Tues - nothing
Weds - nothing
Thurs - few cans at home, usually between 4 and 6 cans
Fri - 7 or 8 pints or so of 4% lager in pub

Sat - 8 or 9 pints or so of 4% lager in pub
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Old 05-11-2012, 10:00 AM   #8 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DisplacedGRITS View Post
Do you want to quit? If so, than try going cold turkey for a month and see how that makes you feel. If you can't remove beer from your life for just one month then you've got some thinking to do. It's not the amount of alcohol you drink but what it's doing to/for you. There's something there that's eating at you telling you that there's something wrong. Also, you're doing some rationalizing. Drinking to sleep and breaking it down by the numbers. I personally would try the abstinence test and see if i could be comfortable in my own skin for a month before i decided whether or not i could ever drink again.
Thanks to everyone for all the above.

I know its a problem, that's why I am here.

I used to do every January sober just to prove to myself that I'm not an alcoholic, I didnt do it this year, I lasted 2 weeks.
It was a combination of 'I need to be able to drink as there are events and birthday parties to go to' and 'This is no fun, I'm the boring one'.

I know it sounds like pier pressure, but I will not go to the pub and not drink, it just puts a dampener out there for everyone else. And I see the pub as a place to drink and enjoy yourself.
So I can either stay at home and twiddle my thumbs, or get out there and be sociable.

I am 3 days in to having 2 weeks off, I am saving myself for when my brother visits from Australia as I know its going to be a week of drinking. Is that something an alcoholic would do? Stay sober for 2 weeks as he knows his liver will take a beating in 2 weeks?

Thanks again
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Old 05-11-2012, 10:07 AM   #9 (permalink)
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Originally Posted by TROLL265 View Post
So I can either stay at home and twiddle my thumbs, or get out there and be sociable.
I was in really bad shape....All I wanted to do was die. I was beaten and broken. So I had to take that sentence you have above and say it like this...."I can either go to an AA meeting and start working on my recovery....Or get out there and get drunk."...I'm over 10 months without a drink...Because that's what I had to do. It's all how you look at it.
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Old 05-11-2012, 10:10 AM   #10 (permalink)
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I was in really bad shape....All I wanted to do was die. I was beaten and broken. So I had to take that sentence you have above and say it like this...."I can either go to an AA meeting and start working on my recovery....Or get out there and get drunk."...I'm over over 10 months without a drink...Because that's what I had to do. It's all how you look at it.
Thank you, that is constructive and useful, I will bear that in mind.

I know my situation doesn't sound bad at all compared to yours and I'm sorry to hear that happened to you.
I am just looking for advice as I know its the early stages of a potential problem.

If anyone thinks I am in the wrong forum please let me know
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Old 05-11-2012, 10:13 AM   #11 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TROLL265 View Post
I am 3 days in to having 2 weeks off, I am saving myself for when my brother visits from Australia as I know its going to be a week of drinking. Is that something an alcoholic would do? Stay sober for 2 weeks as he knows his liver will take a beating in 2 weeks?
Now that I'm sober, I look back at my excitement about upcoming heavy drinking bouts and partying as being an unhealthy relationship with alcohol.

You have to decide what your relationship with booze is.
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Old 05-11-2012, 10:23 AM   #12 (permalink)
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Welcome to SR, Troll. You say that you know alcohol is a problem for you, but the alternative (being bored) is as bad or worse, right? Alcohol used to be fun for me too. Until it wasn't. Like Sugarbear, I'm not really sure what you're looking for. The good people of this forum can support you in sobriety; but mostly what I'm getting from your posts is that you're looking for reassurances that it's okay for you to drink. I honestly don't mean that harshly....I'm just a little confused about what you're seeking.

--Fenris.
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Old 05-11-2012, 10:25 AM   #13 (permalink)
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I am just looking for advice as I know its the early stages of a potential problem.
You're 29...I waited till I was 51 to do something about it....It cost me everything....My advice would be this.....Don't wait till you're 51 to do something.
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Old 05-11-2012, 10:29 AM   #14 (permalink)
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Welcome to SR, Troll. You say that you know alcohol is a problem for you, but the alternative (being bored) is as bad or worse, right? Alcohol used to be fun for me too. Until it wasn't. Like Sugarbear, I'm not really sure what you're looking for. The good people of this forum can support you in sobriety; but mostly what I'm getting from your posts is that you're looking for reassurances that it's okay for you to drink. I honestly don't mean that harshly....I'm just a little confused about what you're seeking.

--Fenris.
Maybe your right and I am looking for that reassurance...but deep down I know it is not right.
Where is the line?

I'll be 100% honest, I think what I am looking for here is something along the lines of:

If I stop this lifestyle for 6 months, will my liver rebuild to a nice level again?

As then maybe I can start again at 30 with a fresh liver and then take it easy from then on??
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Old 05-11-2012, 10:54 AM   #15 (permalink)
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I think you know deep down the amount you drink will end up shortening your life. Trying to quit for a month and not being able to is a bad sign. For me, it just got worse and worse, never better.

I think stopping for a while to heal your liver and thinking you'll go back to it and have it not be a problem is a fantasy.

P.S. : I'm guessing from your username you're a BASE jumper, I hope you're not jumping objects while drunk like I was
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Old 05-11-2012, 11:08 AM   #16 (permalink)
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I think more damage is done by attempting to heal an organ (liver) and damaging it over and over. I am no doctor.

Basically, you are just hurting yourself. Do what you are going to do. 2 weeks is really not healing your liver by much.

Since I've become sober, I find those who drink are really the "boring" and loud ones in any gathering. I am preferring to talk and connect and remember my social outings without the consumption of a poison. It's so much nicer! It really is. I wish I hadn't waited so long (and screwed up my life). It's a whole new trip.

Do what you are going to do. We will still be here, if you return!

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Old 05-11-2012, 11:11 AM   #17 (permalink)
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Hey Troll

Beer was my thing as well (and I'm only 3 weeks clear). I imagine at 29 you feel you can handle that volume pretty well - as you get older it will take more of a toll on you physically and will probably have got more of a grip on you.

I wished I'd stopped at 29. That would have saved me lots of time and money lost to beer.

But, hey, you're miles way ahead of where I was at your age - I was firmly in denial anything was the matter. You realise something isn't right - well done!

Maybe your brother would also like to stop. Sounds like he's a heavy drinker as well if you're expecting to drink a lot when he visits. You never know he might love to have the opportunity to acknowledge he has a problem as well, if he does, and join you in heading in a new direction.

Good luck to you - look after yourself.
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Old 05-11-2012, 11:26 AM   #18 (permalink)
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When I went to my first AA meeting at 23, (25 now) and was first concerned that I had a problem... the main thing I took away from all of the people, including the guy that ended up being my sponsor, was the following sentence...

"What I wouldn't give to have stepped through those doors x amount of years ago at your age."

Figure out for yourself if it's a problem, if it turns out to be an issue, why not start now, and save yourself years or trouble?

You found this site for a reason...

Anyways, good luck to ya.
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Old 05-11-2012, 11:34 AM   #19 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TROLL265 View Post
It was a combination of 'I need to be able to drink as there are events and birthday parties to go to' and 'This is no fun, I'm the boring one'.

I know it sounds like pier pressure, but I will not go to the pub and not drink, it just puts a dampener out there for everyone else. And I see the pub as a place to drink and enjoy yourself.
So I can either stay at home and twiddle my thumbs, or get out there and be sociable.
For what it's worth Troll, I drank about the same as you do...I didn't have the 2 days off though and I am a girl and a couple of years older than you but I have developed some health problems. It does sound like that's what you're worried about..?

I understand how pub culture works and I know that there is pressure to drink but really no one actually cares if you drink or not and it certainly won't ruin their good time. I used to know a quite a few guys who gave up in January or the rugby season or something and no one ever gave them a hard time and a lot of people actually were a bit impressed at their being able to be out and not drink. You don't have to drink to go out. One thing I have noticed in my sober time is the amount of people who start telling me how little they drink when I've said I'm not drinking...I think you'd find that people would be impressed really. Have a good think about how drinking really makes you feel and if it's a problem then consider quitting, at least for a bit.

Welcome to SR x
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Old 05-11-2012, 11:39 AM   #20 (permalink)
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I came to the conclusion I drank too much at the age of 19...I sometimes stayed sober for different periods of time...never more than 1 year. I am now 56 years old and I had my last drink April 24, 2012, oh yes, it was 2 bottles of wine, alone. Great fun...if I could wind back the clock a to age 29, you bet I would...
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