zorah

This has been the hardest week. I never last this long without drinking. It's been 22 days. My sponsor tells me to keep focusing on that, to recognize the achievement. The thing that scares me are those sneak attacks out of nowhere. You know what I mean? I'm driving down the street feeling fine, relaxed even, and then bam! I suddenly think I'll stop and pick up a bottle of wine, then I remember, oh yeah, I can't do that anymore. I actually forget for a moment. Do you know what I mean? I can understand wanting to drink when I'm down (that's how I started). But I can't get my mind around these weird sneak attacks that come out of nowhere. Literally random.



Zorah

Fenris

Yep, that sounds familiar. It would be one thing if my addiction always came at me head-on, toe-to-toe...but usually it's a lot more like a ninja, hiding in the shadows, waiting for me to turn my back. BAM! Out of nowhere, bottles of booze start dancing in my head. Congrats on 22 days. Keep it up.

Sapling

You have to figure when you have been doing something that becomes a part of your life and you just remove it....Those thoughts are going to pop up...It's how you react to them that counts....I found using my phone...Reading the Big Book a big help for me....One thing I did in my first couple months...Was say The Serenity Prayer everytime I'd get that thought. It just took my mind off it. Do what you have to do...Just don't pick up the first drink and do the next right thing. You'll be OK....Go to meetings when you have spare time. Hang in there zorah.

sugarbear1

I had that happen, too. It does lessen as time moves on. I used to say in my head, "Well, today, I don't want to do that, maybe tomorrow I'll get some." It did help in the beginning and as long as I didn't act on it, then "today" I am still sober. I don't really think about it now. It's just not an option to buy it or to drink it and life is too good right now.

Happy Sober Thursday, Zorah!

2granddaughters

I was at a 1st Step table this morning.
6 of us at the table and combined sobriety was about 118 yrs.

Yes, we have to keep our guard up against those "thought attacks".

All the best.

Bob R

Saliena

Early soberity is very hard... I seem to notice every liquor store between me and ANY AA meeting. Thinking it would be so easy just to stop in.. noone would know. But, then I would play the tape through and remember how that tape ended up.. like so many times before.

Stick in there... it does get easier.

lydiebreeze

zorah - I know what you mean! I'd find myself buying booze and even drinking it without meaning to or even realize I was doing it.
I heard an analogy once about addiction being like a little kid that wants something in the store - they'll keep asking until they realize they're really NOT going to get. Then they'll give up. I think we need to be like strong parents here - keep saying no and you're addiction will stop asking.

lydiebreeze

saliena -
I once went to an AA meeting with a bottle IN MY PURSE. So weird. I knew full well I was drinking when I got home but I also knew I needed help.
Addiction is such a tug of war!

instant

Think of them as 'pop ups' on a computer screen, or 'helpful' reminders or SMS from businesses that are a nuisance but not harmful to you unless you act on them.

If you have not done so already I suggest learning about AVRT (addictive voice recognition training)

These things lessen considerably with time and you get better at ignoring them, or assigning them as 'mental trash'. I have found engaging with the thought makes it persist.

hypochondriac

Sometimes it's less random than you think Zorah. I had one of these sneak attacks today and couldn't really figure out why, until I managed to connect it with the weather being warm and that would be one of those days where I'd be out in a beer garden somewhere, or out in the park drinking when I was younger. Sometimes it seems like a tenuous link but I find it helps if I can account for it as some kind of conditioned response... It loses it's power somehow. If it was totally random then I might think that I 'just want to drink' and it's never going to change. I don't know if that makes sense or not but I do think that If you've been drinking all your life like me then there are probably more triggers than you'd expect.

Well done on 22 days! x