I survived the oxy only to die from insomnia
 

I am now completing day 6 of oxycodone withdrawl. Overall it is going surprisingly well given the two to three years that I have been using it consistently and increasingly. Oxy is actually only my latest infatuation as I started years ago with pot and with my addictive personality was hooked to an all day habit I think after the first time. When I got to old to chase 16-18 year olds around to get me high I turned to bourbon and was soused daily for years. In spite of this I was growing in my profession, running my own business and was seemingly successfully married with three children.

I was eventually invited to my own intervention and as I walked in the room I instantly realized what was going on. Interestingly my first thought was, "finally this is going to be over."

I seemed to successfully rehab only to successfully relapse which led me to prescription meds as I found that I could get high and no one could smell what I was doing. I eventually made a complete ass out of myself but after individual counseling recovered. The counseling taught me some things about myself and I was good for many years. A great part of this was finding the most wonderful woman in the world who stood by me in my shame and literally saved my life. I eventually discovered that my drugging, at least in part, was to hide from a very unhappy marriage and after a divorce married this wonderful woman.

Loving and being loved by her has made my life the most wonderful place to be. I needed no other drug and wanted none.

Then three years ago I had a problem which required - or seemed to require - the use of pain medication. The instant I realized that I was getting a prescription the thought ran through my head, "this could be fun!" After the first pill I was gone again and have just come back - thankfully through the intervention of my wife who after thankfully overcoming her heartbreak that I could be such a lying ******* with her has stood by me once again.

I hadn't intended to write all this as I only had a question. I found SR only after googling insomnia and oxy withdrawl to try to get some advice or knowledge from other's experience. I spent the first days on the edge of SR reading the entries and growing from them. Last night i decided to join.

Retrunig to my diatribe, I am handling the joint pain, sniffles, damnable RLS and general withdrawl as I have good support and someone to talk to and tries to understand.

We do not sleep together as I do not sleep. I toss and turn and become frustrated to tears bouncing around on the bed like a trampoline. I am sleeping in the guest bedroom so I can thrash around and not keep her awake. In six days I have slept only a couple hours. I am cutting caffiene and trying to exercise and be active. I certainly get tired but don't go to sleep. A great part of my work involves driving around to small midwewstern communities. I have found that a 5 minute nap on the roadside is refreshing along as someone doesn't come and tap on the window to make sure I haven't died.

I cannot take sleep medications as I am able to get high on anything and will get hooked on anything. I know that my brain is not making proper chemicals right now and feeding something else in is only going to perpetuate the problem.

So I must gut this out. I am asking if anyone can give me some useful advice or indication as to how long this part will take. I am afraid, however, that my tendency to be an insomniac under good conditions is not going to help me any. I feel that I will die from this and it will be the only way in which I ever rest again.

Insomnia advice
 

A nature amino acid that I use that is over the counter is called Melatonin! It works wonders for me! Also another natural acid called 5HTP for anxiety! Try it!

Thanks, I will at least give it a thought if not a try. I am so shy of adding anything in spite of having asked for advice. What is the relationship of melatonin to serotonin? I want to somehow have my brain do what it is supposed to do rather than make it do what I want by adding something to it. Does this make any sense?

I never did opiates, but I have gone through alcohol withdrawal and 'cocaine crashes' before. Both brought insomnia for days on end. I just think about those experiences when I feel like picking up again. Hang in there, it'll pass!

I think insomnia is par for the course for most of us for a while regardless of our drug of choice.

I recommend everyone see a Dr before starting any new supplement - no one here knows anyone else's clinical history or what other medication they may be taking etc.

What has worked for someone else may not work, or may not be suitable, for you.

If you're worried about your insomnia oxyfiend, why not see a Dr anyway?

D

Sleepytime Extra Tea with Valarian by Celestial Seasonings has helped me in the past. Make sure it's the Extra and not the regular. Warm milk has actually been shown to help and keeping your bedroom on the cool side promotes restful sleep.

Thanks to everyone for the advice and support. As for going to the Dr., I am in the field and know that in today's medical environment all Dr's do is hand out presscriptions. I have had enough drugs. The last time I was struggling with this and trying to quit I did go to my family doc and, of course, came away with a medication that increased regularly because it didn't work. Imagine that, a pill habit starting as a result of trying to get rid of a pill habit. My other attempts to quit this awful stuff weren't serious and I never stepped across the line with both feet and all my self. Even after only 6 days I feel so much better and am surviving the sleeplessness well. The hard part is the extremely long nights. The most wonderful part so far is that I can already feel myself coming back. It feels good but makes me sad to think that I can give up so many things to get high and that I was gone so long. I messed a great deal out there floating around.

I'm sure you realise why we encourage people to see a Dr.
Even if we have expertise, sometimes it takes another perspective...

Here are some natural common sense tips

Insomnia? 42 Simple Tips to Help You Get to Sleep - Insomnia treatment, cures

D

Thanks Dee. Yes I understand.

Now to go and try it again.

Dee, I was on my way to the bedroom and had a sudden realization that although what I have already said is true there is another element in the "going to the Dr." alternative. He is fully aware of my previous history and was damned determined to keep me from this. I am so embarrassed to go back to him and let him know. These are "early days" and I am not ready to face anyone else with my continued failure. I am huddling close to the support of my wife and the counsel of SR. In the first couple days I found great solace in reading what I could get to without being a member. It is so good to know there are others out there who understand. I am sure you all know that.

For a start I would not see yourself as a failure, I for one admire and respect people who keep trying and don't give up.
I have used guided sleep meditations successfully.
All the best

caiHong

Don't be embarrassed to go to the doctor especially to one who knows your past. You need all the help you can get right now. You also have the option to refuse prescriptions if they offer them to you.

It's a huge step to admit to that doctor that you have a problem but you'll be all the more stronger for doing it.

It takes courage to admit you have a problem and it takes courage to quit. A courageous person is not a failure.

Hope that helps :)

Just completing day 7 and continue to be successful in staying away from the evil pills. I am quite amazed at how quickly the craving has decreased. It doesn't take much to remember that this is exactly where I wanted to be when I would beat myself up for where I had let myself go. I was sleeping then and would wake up each night and think evil thoughts about myself for being what I had become and allowing my life to be one of chasing a drug supply every day and the lying, cheating, hiding and general dishonesty it took to stay supplied. We all know the discomfort of looking at the last ones left and the creeping discomfort that would come with the realization that you were about to run out.

For me there would be a sense of extreme relief when I developed a stash with the promise to myself that this time I would be more careful with how fast I used them. But of course today it would be okay to take 3 or 4 at a time and really get laid back.

I hated how I felt particularly when with my wife as after the initial rush was over I would feel the guilt for the dishonest life I was living. Then I would promise myself that I would stop when this stash was gone. Oh, how easy to promise oneself when the high is fully in position and the stash is secure!

I think I am through the worst of the withdrawl as far as symptoms go. I slept last night about 4 1/2 hours which left me feeling REALLY tired today. This still left a lot of time awake and I recognized the level of anxiety that I had and the fact that I certainly could not go to sleep as hyped up as I felt. I utilized the hot shower technique which left me much more relaxed and I fell asleep each time - for at least a little while.

I feel so good about my status right now that I am willing to put up with the insomnia and try to work through it. I really have no choice as I can never go back.

Obviously, this last is really the hard part as I have "cleaned up" before only to return.
I can't go back. I love this feeling too much. It feels clean and whole and about as "normal" as I will ever get as I know that I am not "normal" and never really will be.

:scoregood on your first week clean!:)

I believe you can do this, you are getting some sober days under your belt, you are being honest with yourself, keep building up your sobriety and the momentum will carry you along with your effort.

Love
CaiHong

Sleep
 

I am 52 days of oxy and I didn't sleep for two weeks..it was horrible but worth it because now I can sleep and am happy about my sobriety. Someone told me to keep your room cool and dar and put a heating pad at your feet and it worked. I was willing to try anything because I was so s,rep deprived...good luck friend..:scoregood

Wells, thanks for your post and thank you all for the encouragement. I am doing the cools and dark but I couldn't do the heating pad as the RLS is still in charge of where my feet are at times and I know I would just get tangled in it or wouldn't be able to find it. I fell asleep almost immediately earlier tonight but woke up after 12 hour to an hour energized and anxious. Took a hot shower and will try to go back to sleep. Just looking for some encouragement first. Thanks to all.

Do some research and look up B3 Nicotinic Acid - too much can make u flush, so don't over do it. Also, be careful if you have liver problems. Another alternative is Tryptophan...trust me! Good luck and Good rest!