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Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2012
Posts: 9
New here
I've realized for some time that I have a problem with alcohol. Somehow I always come up with an excuse, like 'what's a few drinks'. I deserve it! I go all day thinking I'll lay off the booze for the night, but during the drive home from work I find myself trying to rationalize why a few drinks won't really matter. But it does matter. I usually end up drinking an entire bottle of wine by myself, which for my size, is a LOT!
My personal life is kind of crazy to explain, but my boyfriend has been living with me for the past 3 months. Before that, I lived alone. During the time he has lived with me, I haven't drank as much as other times. We will share a glass of wine over dinner and that's about it. We both love wine. The problem is that he can stop with one glass. I sometimes want to drink more. Even though I want to drink more, I won't. I feel satisfied enough just enjoying the taste of a glass of wine and his company.
He recently had to leave the area to take care of some issues with his aging parents, and will likely be gone for a couple of months. I find myself hitting the booze hard again. After he left I had a few really bad nights, ones where I was totally obnoxious to him over the webcam. I don't want to be like this, so a couple of days ago I just went cold turkey. I need to learn to handle being alone and not using alcohol to entertain myself.
I haven't had a drop to drink in 3 days. I feel noticeably better. More alive and awake during the day. I hope I can get a handle on this. I've been over-drinking for about 5 years now. It started after my divorce. I just hope someday I can enjoy a glass of wine and not feel the need to overdue things.
Is this possible for a recovered alcoholic? I be satisfied with a single glass of wine over dinner? What have others experienced?
My personal life is kind of crazy to explain, but my boyfriend has been living with me for the past 3 months. Before that, I lived alone. During the time he has lived with me, I haven't drank as much as other times. We will share a glass of wine over dinner and that's about it. We both love wine. The problem is that he can stop with one glass. I sometimes want to drink more. Even though I want to drink more, I won't. I feel satisfied enough just enjoying the taste of a glass of wine and his company.
He recently had to leave the area to take care of some issues with his aging parents, and will likely be gone for a couple of months. I find myself hitting the booze hard again. After he left I had a few really bad nights, ones where I was totally obnoxious to him over the webcam. I don't want to be like this, so a couple of days ago I just went cold turkey. I need to learn to handle being alone and not using alcohol to entertain myself.
I haven't had a drop to drink in 3 days. I feel noticeably better. More alive and awake during the day. I hope I can get a handle on this. I've been over-drinking for about 5 years now. It started after my divorce. I just hope someday I can enjoy a glass of wine and not feel the need to overdue things.
Is this possible for a recovered alcoholic? I be satisfied with a single glass of wine over dinner? What have others experienced?
Choosing Life
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Montana
Posts: 1,435
Welcome, Fruju.
Well, I can't speak for everyone but I think the majority of us will tell you that it is just not possible for an alcoholic to drink in moderation. Lord knows we have all tried. It is just not possible for me to have one or two drinks and be satisfied. Once I have the first drink, it's "game on." When I have tried to stop at one or two, I've either been very dissatisfied (and obsessing about getting more), or I just keep on going till I black out/pass out. I'm much better off with none at all.
You've got 3 days sober ... keep going! You will feel even better as time goes on. If you really want to stop, it would be a good idea to involve yourself in some kind of program like AA, Rational Recovery, SMART, etc. and get a good support network around you (like SR). We've all been where you are and we're here to help where we can.
Well, I can't speak for everyone but I think the majority of us will tell you that it is just not possible for an alcoholic to drink in moderation. Lord knows we have all tried. It is just not possible for me to have one or two drinks and be satisfied. Once I have the first drink, it's "game on." When I have tried to stop at one or two, I've either been very dissatisfied (and obsessing about getting more), or I just keep on going till I black out/pass out. I'm much better off with none at all.
You've got 3 days sober ... keep going! You will feel even better as time goes on. If you really want to stop, it would be a good idea to involve yourself in some kind of program like AA, Rational Recovery, SMART, etc. and get a good support network around you (like SR). We've all been where you are and we're here to help where we can.
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: London Ontario
Posts: 14
Congrats Fruju, you've taken the first big step by admitting you have a problem. I too have just recently quit, and as you said I feel so much better already. One suggestion I have for you is start going to AA meeting, they have them in every city. I was a little leary of going the first time, but you won't believe how happy and optomistic these people are and how much they can help you. OK now for the bad news. If you truly are an alcoholic and succeed in defeating your demons (which I truly pray that you do) you must commit to never taking that first drink ever again. You'll be right back where you started and probably worse than ever. Good luck and keep us up to date on your progress
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Chicago, IL
Posts: 79
I had been sober for close to 3 months when my restaurant had a wine tasting (for the employees - so we'd know how to sell to customers) Everyone at work knows my deal and they told me I didn't have to attend. But big-shot that I am I said. "I can handle that - I'll just spit it out"
This was almost a year ago - today is my 3rd day sober.
I can't even have a SIP without the danger of a big slip.
Congratulations on YOUR 3rd day!
This was almost a year ago - today is my 3rd day sober.
I can't even have a SIP without the danger of a big slip.
Congratulations on YOUR 3rd day!
SR Fan
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Mississippi
Posts: 7,910
Welcome fruju!
I can relate to so much of what you said, especially the part about intending to not drink and end up downing a bottle of wine that evening. It definitely catches up with us - I don't think I even realized how much it affected me until I got sober.
Glad you're here and congrats on 3 days!!
I can relate to so much of what you said, especially the part about intending to not drink and end up downing a bottle of wine that evening. It definitely catches up with us - I don't think I even realized how much it affected me until I got sober.
Glad you're here and congrats on 3 days!!
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,564
Hi fruju! So glad to have you with us. This is a great place where you can learn so much.
It isn't how often or how much you drink, but what it does to you when you do. I'm like lydiebreeze - can't even take a sip or I'm off to the races. I wanted so much to be a social drinker, but for many years I tried to use willpower and it just doesn't work for alcoholics.
You may feel so much better that you won't want to start up again. You don't need the uncertainty of it. Keep on reading & posting!
It isn't how often or how much you drink, but what it does to you when you do. I'm like lydiebreeze - can't even take a sip or I'm off to the races. I wanted so much to be a social drinker, but for many years I tried to use willpower and it just doesn't work for alcoholics.
You may feel so much better that you won't want to start up again. You don't need the uncertainty of it. Keep on reading & posting!
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,442
Hi Fruju
My experience is that everytime I start to introduce alcohol into my system, things start going wrong. I cede control.
Not drinking these last 5 years has giving me my life and my joy back.
I no longer want that 'one glass of wine' or whatever.
I have all I want
I feel sure you'll find the same
My experience is that everytime I start to introduce alcohol into my system, things start going wrong. I cede control.
Not drinking these last 5 years has giving me my life and my joy back.
I no longer want that 'one glass of wine' or whatever.
I have all I want
I feel sure you'll find the same
Professional Drunk
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Toronto
Posts: 465
Hi fruju,
When I lived with my GF, I would curb my drinking if she was home, but I obsessively thought about finishing off the wine or beer. If she was away, I would go on a bender until she came back. But then I started hiding bottles of vodka so that I would have 2 or 3 beers in front of her and pretend to stop, all the while sneaking nips from the hidden vodka. I always stayed up later than her so I would count down the minutes until she went to bed so I could dip into the vodka. If you think like that, you may need to seek some help.
When I lived with my GF, I would curb my drinking if she was home, but I obsessively thought about finishing off the wine or beer. If she was away, I would go on a bender until she came back. But then I started hiding bottles of vodka so that I would have 2 or 3 beers in front of her and pretend to stop, all the while sneaking nips from the hidden vodka. I always stayed up later than her so I would count down the minutes until she went to bed so I could dip into the vodka. If you think like that, you may need to seek some help.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Posts: 1,226
Welcome! I will just echo what others have said, and commend you on taking positive steps. You are already reaping the benefits of 3 days. Pay close attention to how it feels, how much better it is.
For me, sobriety makes everything better. Drinking makes everything pretty much worse.
For me, sobriety makes everything better. Drinking makes everything pretty much worse.
New beginnings are the best!
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Connecticut
Posts: 124
Hi there and welcome!
I drank about a bottle of wine every night for a couple years. Before that, I drank a pint of rum every night. I understand being able to cut back at certain times and then wanting to overdo it when boredom settles in, or you're feeling lonely, etc. I drank for different reasons, depending on what I was up against that day.
Congratulations on Day 3! Today is my 1 week mark, and I couldn't be happier now that I'm living sober. Everything is changing for the better. More energy, better perception and clarity, patient and kind, and just a lot of good transformations! Keep walking this journey with us. It's really quite wonderful, I think.
I drank about a bottle of wine every night for a couple years. Before that, I drank a pint of rum every night. I understand being able to cut back at certain times and then wanting to overdo it when boredom settles in, or you're feeling lonely, etc. I drank for different reasons, depending on what I was up against that day.
Congratulations on Day 3! Today is my 1 week mark, and I couldn't be happier now that I'm living sober. Everything is changing for the better. More energy, better perception and clarity, patient and kind, and just a lot of good transformations! Keep walking this journey with us. It's really quite wonderful, I think.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2012
Posts: 9
Wow, I just checked in on the off chance that someone might have posted something! It's so great to see all your comments. Night time, an hour or so before bed is usually when I find myself longing to take that first sip that will carry me away. I haven't missed it at all tonight. I'm taking much comfort in all of your words. One of the worst things I've come to recognize lately is how drinking too much turns me into a different person. Sometimes people will describe things I have said or done and I don't have the slightest memory, which is frightening to me. I hate waking up the next day wondering if I've done something totally crazy. Feeling confident that I'm in control is a good feeling! Thanks everyone!
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: San Francisco, CA
Posts: 16
Welcome Fruju! I love wine too and could never have just one glass. I'd usually drink a bottle and then segue to hard alcohol. I'm new to this too. It's only been a month for me but I feel exponentially better.
instant
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Australia
Posts: 5,711
I did not find things could change. I tried it every which way. In the end sobriety is the answer and clearly is the best option for me. I am just a normal suburban guy- I have a house and job etc. For me it just kept getting worse and my 'plans', and fitness and health kicks, never worked in the long term
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2012
Posts: 9
Today is day 4. It's really strange, but I feel light and euphoric today. I guess I got so use to feeling like crap that my body is rejoicing! I'm currently housesitting for a friend, who happens to have a TON of wine stockpiled. I have to say, I didn't even feel tempted to break one open.
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