Looking for some peace through the screen
 

Hi All,

My name is Bill & I am an addict. I have been clean for about 5 months, and have gone to NA meetings every week of my recovery, but have major social issues and can't bring myself to stick around after the meeting ends to find a sponsor or get any numbers. I always put my head down and leave immediately. I can't really explain why.

I am hoping to find the courage to share what I need to hear, and hopefully help others as well, although I don't feel that I have a lot to offer at the present time.

I am SO GRATEFUL to be clean today, but know I need to start working the steps to keep it up.

-Bill

Bill, have you considered writing a note and giving it to the secretary of your meeting basically saying that you don't feel comfortable hanging out with people after meetings and don't know how to go about getting a sponsor? I'm sure help is there if you can find a way to ask for it. I was lucky that i had some rather, uh, forward people to help me get a sponsor. Namely a gent who sat across from me during a first step meeting and interrupted the meeting with "hey! You! Do you have a sponsor yet?" "Uh...no sir?" "Well meet Jeci. She's good people. Continue!" All this barked in military fashion. However you get a sponsor, get one. They're your guide and they help!

Hi Bill,

I was just reading the long post that you added to the other forum here on SR.
Thank you for sharing your journey with us & congratulations on having 5 months clean time !

I think your idea of using SR to express some of your feelings is a great idea. It is a safe place, and there are a lot of people here that have a good understanding of what you are going through. So please stay, read, and continue to post.

I was particularly happy to hear that your wife has stood by you and been supportive. I am here because of my fiance's past cocaine issues. He is also in recovery now, doing well, and Im so proud of him.

So I just wanted to say Hello and wish you all the best.

--Kelley

welcome to SR meaculpa :)

I'm not in NA or AA but I think I'd probably try and make some contact every time I went, even if it's just to help set up or pack up...it needn't be a big social thing, but that way you might make some new contacts in a low key way?

I'm sure you'll get some great ideas from other people here too :)

D

You know what the issue is, you are not covering it up, you are not blaming others. Sounds like a priority on your agenda, that's all good. Work on it till you get it right, but go easy on the self flagellation in the process ( I know how that hurts !!!!!)

Great to see your progress

Hey Bill

Congrats on the 5 months

Do you resent your "social issues"? Do you beat yourself up in your head over it? If the answer is yes, that's where you need to look first. As long as this feeling of resistance/resentment is in the background, then all the socializing in the world won't give you peace. That's not where you find peace. If you can find a way to accept yourself and stop caring so much, then the socializing will likely happen naturally and from a deeper place, but you won't need it to happen anymore because you're OK either way. That's the beauty of it.

Hi and Welcome,

Congratulations on your 5 months sober and I know you will find lots of support here.