Roselian

I just had to accept failure today that I will not be able to deliever my final paper on time. I have been very depressed the last two weeks and my house looks like a dump. I have only been watching TV- Isolating myself even calling in sick for work. I recently got a therapist that gave me a doctors notice though so thinks will work out. But It will take about 3 months extra until I am finished. I broke my leg while drunk after being sober for almost 2 months. Then everything seemed to go down hill. I havent had a drink since then though. But now I can drink if i want to. I will start working a couple of times a week again soon and try to focus on dealing with life not avoiding it. I like work and it very related to my degree.

Tomorow I need to start cleaning my house. I need to go out shopping som food. And I need to empty my mail.

Been checked out of life playing videogames , and watching shows like intervention etc.

My therapist seems very supportive though. He even sendt me a text message with some helpful advice on how to get started with this whole life thing again.

Theoretically I could really drink now though. Several months until my next exam. I only work a couple of days a week ,so its not like It could ruin my life even further.

I dont have any questions just a bit sad and needed to went.
Sorry : (

Hooped

I hope you start feeling better.
I've been kind of down in the dumps myself lately and can assure you that drinking did not make anything easier for me nor did it pick me up at all, much to the contrary it made all my problems seem even more intense.
So...here's to better days ahead!

kidwandering

Stay strong, Roselian! I know how you feel. I've found the longer you spend shut away from the world, the farther you feel away from it and the harder it seems to get back in. If you can manage to convince yourself to do just one things you'll remember "hey, this isn't so hard after all." Then it becomes easier to do more things. Don't be too hard on yourself!

Anna

I'm really glad you have a found a therapist, especially one who is supportive.

And, it sounds like you have a reprieve at school, so that allows you some extra time.

I hope you start feeling better soon.

Roselian

I guess I really know that alcohol will only make it worse. At the same I got this strange feeling that i want to just say something like sorry the language "to hell with it all".
My resolve is gone. I were sure that I would never drink again. Just want to wallow in my misery.

Hehe that was the most depressing thing I have wrote in a long time. I will be ok just have to start with small goals at the time and get back on the wagon.

Lenina

for me, alcohol fueled my depressions and depression fueled a good deal of my drinking. Also, in early sober days, depression is very common. Please talk to your therapist about this.

I hope you feel better soon.

Love from Lenina

Dee74

I'm glad you're talking to your drs and therapists roselian - it's good to get as much help as we can when we feel low I think...start with little things, smaller jobs, to accomplish and then build up is my advice

I hope you'll feel better soon

Drinking absolutely will not help - don't fall into the trap of subconsciously believing the way you feel today is the way you'll always feel - that's just not true...

D

Roselian

Thanks to you all your kind replies. You really are amazing. Just stranges on a message board showing so much support and friendly advice. : )

Thanks

Anna

I understand completely how you feel. I had such a hard time with depression and sometimes I wanted to just let go and wallow. But, I can't, ever, because for me, that is the slippery slope. Giving into the dark feelings will eventually lead me back to drinking. And, I won't go there.

I don't mean you have to feel on top of the world every day or pretend that you're not having a bad day when you are, but don't let the feelings take hold.

sugarbear1

Why will the paper take 3 more months to complete? You aren't working on it, you got a doctor's note to attempt an extension, and twice you've mentioned that you can drink again if you want to. I don't understand. "Theoretically I could really drink now though."

I wish you well,

Roselian

I will get an extension but the thing it is kind of complicated since it is my final paper and I will have a oral exam of this as well. And the next time I can deliever my paper is in about the middle of August. I will have to work on my paper of course so school is not off. I would not really need 3 months since I have started it. But so are the deadlines if you are sick or fail or something like that. You have to wait.

Hmm the Alcohol . It is almost 3 months til my paper is due so I could drink. But I will not . This is very important to me and I will get my life back on track.

's0

sissy07

Please don't drink. Stop giving yourself the option! Look where drinking has gotten you - a broken leg, putting off turning in your paper three whole months, depression, house is a mess.... The last thing you should do is drink. Get through this era so you don't have to go through it again. It will get better, I promise. Really.

sugarbear1

Are you working a program of recovery? Reading about AVRT or AA?

You have an opportunity to greatly improve your entire life; what are you planning on doing about this? Drinking is not an option at this point.

Roselian

You are right. I dont want to drink and I will not. It gets easier the longer you are sober so things will et better.

DjMute1029

.l',.

totfit

Oh, but you really could ruin things a LOT more. Please don't kid yourself.