tickletoes

Hi there.

I am a young mom with a wonderful husband and child. I have a great relationship with my family, and I have a few really great friends. Yet I can't control my drinking. It hasn't always been like this, but three times in the past two months, my husband and I have talked about my drinking and how negative it is for our relationship. I find myself lying to him about it and hiding it from him, even when I don't want to. I am SICK of this, and I am not willing to lose my husband or sacrifice our relationship for alcohol. I just don't know where to start. I don't know where to turn from here. My husband is unfailingly supportive, but I lie and drink anyway. I WANT TO QUIT. I WANT TO REGAIN CONTROL OF MYSELF AND MY LIFE. I WANT TO BE THE WIFE AND MOTHER I PROMISED I'D BE.

Sapling

Welcome tickletoes...This place is a real good start. I actually chose alcohol over my wife...I was a sick puppy. There are ways out of it. Take advantage of all the support you can get. Don't wait as long as I did. Glad you are here. It's a great first step.

scrambled2012

Hi Tickle,

You have already done the first right thing--you have recognized what needs to be happen and stated it clearly. This site has a lot of support, expereinces, and other types of information to help you on your way. You still have your family, your health, and your future, and have taken the first step. Welcome, and congrads. Job # 1, don't drink NOW. Don't drink today~~~

See you on the boards!

DisplacedGRITS

Hi tickletoes and welcome to SR. Do you have a plan in place? Are you actively drinking?

artsoul

Welcome tickletoes!

You're not alone.......:ghug3 We know what it feels like to "know better" and yet continue to drink. We're here for you!:ghug3

least

Welcome to the family! :ghug3 The support from this site has helped me stay sober over two years now and I thought I was hopeless and unable to quit drinking - not so! You too can turn your life around.

ilovedbeer

Hi tickletoes. My situation sounds similar. My drinking has really started to hurt my relationship with my wife and children. My wife is extremely supportive and I am grateful for that, but our relationship has been going downhill for quite some time and I'm sure my drinking is the cause. I am 6 days sober today and I feel great! Reading the different stories and posts of encouragement from this website have given me daily motivation. There have been times over the past week that I have been really tempted, however, if I concentrate on the negative part of my drinking and if I come to this forum and read a little, I've been able to withstand the temptations. I've tried to quit several times in the past, but for some reason, it feels easier this time. I really hope it stays this way. I guess, I'm not naive, I'm sure there will be times when it will be extremely hard. This forum has been a big help for me so far though and I'm sure it will continue to do so. Spend some time reading through the posts on here. Take the advice that these new friends of yours will give you! Good luck to you!

wellwisher

I'm glad you've joined SR and are posting. It's a good start. Welcome.

ilovedbeer...great job on the six days; keep going.

It's all about doing things differently and building a big toolbox to help you get past the compulsion.

Look forward to seeing you on the boards.....

TheRestorative

Hello, I can understand the desperation and realizing that something needs to be done. I joined this website 3 days ago, and I've been on here several times a day since. The stories, quotes, information, and support on these forums is just wonderful. Whenever I feel tempted to drink, I take a deep breath, grab a non-alcoholic drink (in a fancy cup with a colored straw, just because), and log on here. For me, it sometimes helps to just distract myself for a while. I know, however, that that is not going to fix any deep-rooted issues, which is why I plan to attend AA meetings as soon as possible (and I do have every intention of finding a counselor to talk with one-on-one). I have also come across a lot of web links to daily meditations and other readings on recovery that are really nice. Be encouraged! You are not alone! I have a husband and 2 daughters that I want to be well for. First and foremost, I am doing this for me! If you ever want to talk, reach out.. Because I'm here for you. :ghug3

~ Abby

Hevyn

Tickletoes - You're no longer alone - you have us. I hope you'll find SR as helpful & encouraging as I did. There's something about knowing others have been where you are - it relieves a lot of the anxiety.

You can accomplish the things you list at the end of your post. You sound determined - and it can be done. Keep talking to us.

tickletoes

I don't have a plan yet. I am looking for ways to get out of the house and keep busy, I think part of the desire to drink comes from the monotony of being a stay-at-home mom. I love the job, but I am just not sure that it is quite right for me. I have talked to my husband about this site, and I am trying to read as many threads as possible to get an idea of what others are going through and how others are succeeding where I'd like to. I FINALLY admitted to my family that I was starting to scare myself, and they have agreed to help me not drink when around them. I have plans with my sisters to celebrate their birthday, but I have already told them I volunteered to be DD because I want them to know how serious I am about not drinking. I feel like that is an ok start, but I worry that the compulsion will sneak up on me. Does anyone else notice it happens at a specific time every month? I seem to succumb to the temptation around the same time every month and I am not sure why

CarolD

I use AA for my happy sucessful recovery from alcoholism...
I suggest you check out some local meetings...ask a loved one to accompany
you as they are willing to support your new goal of sober living..

Welcome...

DisplacedGRITS

It's not a monthly thing for me since i was an all day, every day drinker but i find that i would get triggered when my husband left for work, then again at 5 then lastly around 7-8. Now i feel a twinge around 5 from time to time but that's about it. Your mind gets so used to your old habits it takes a long time to get over them. The only reason i don't crave in the early morning or later evening anymore is that i filled those times with things to do specifically to avoid having downti,e to crave.

tickletoes

I have looked at AA and I am not sure it really fits for me. My cousin has gone through the 12 steps, but when he and I talk about it, we disagree on many, many aspects. I so so so so so appreciate the advice! So thoughtful. But I may need a different community besides AA. I have looked on the forum at the secular alternatives, and I wonder if that may be a better fit

CarolD

I don't know....but please do try out anything you think wil benefit your future

I find the SMART program quite interesting ..

Self Help Substance Abuse &amp Addiction Recovery | SMART Recovery®.

AA states it's not for everyone...and we never have had a membership drive...

DisplacedGRITS

I'm an agnostic and i have found AA to be a great program for me. The word God is used out of convience. My Higher Power is very personal. It can be the belief in the program the fellowship of the community, a scuff on your kitchen floor, whatever you want it to be. Just something you symbolically turn your cravings and problems over to so you don't carry all that weight and trouble on your shoulders. So you don't feel that you're going it alone. My sponser is religious but it never comes up when we meet. She just helps me understand and work the steps. If you haven't tried AA, consider giving it a shot. Don't judge AA by other's experiences. Judge it by your own. It can't hurt to try.

artsoul

Hormones maybe?

tickletoes

Yeah, I understand that. I have attended meetings myself. I am spiritual, I just have a different thought on addiction that I don't feel is addressed in the 12 step program. It is so cool that it works for you! My cousin loves it too.

Dee74

welcome to SR tickletoes

D

Zencat

I get that, its okay to have thoughts on addiction that differ from AA. This will not pose any problems with your ability to get and stay sober.

I have a secular spiritual side of me and a understanding of addiction that are of enormous aid in my continuing journey towards greater wellness.

I say follow your heart, keep reading and posting here at SR. There are a great bunch of people here and even the ones that may be disagreeable at times, they all have something to teach of what to do and what not to do. Discerning the difference of each of those teachings is an exerciser in wisdom development.