Occasional Binge Drinking
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Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 1,525
I think everyone's different as far as the bar thing goes. I feel like for me its not really so much of an issue, if I've decided I'm not drinking that night, then I won't drink. For me. My triggers are different, more stress-related. Not that I'm recommending hanging out in bars either but for me I prefer to know I can still go out with my friends and be sober. That said, I would still avoid hardcore party situations where getting drunk is the main goal. (Or - as I've posted about - totally drink centric events like a winery tour)
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Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 1,525
P.S. To add another caveat, I feel like I'm at a point where I've built up the experience and tools from past sobriety to know that I'll be ok in a bar - I was sober for a long period of time in the past, and I know what does and does not trigger me. But I wouldn't have hung out in bars when I was completely new to recovery.
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Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Mississippi
Posts: 7,910
I got pretty tired standing around and making small talk for a while, maybe that's a valuable skill to learn while sober
It was really pretty cool - I found out a lot that day: that people really are interesting if you get past the trivial stuff and that we have more in common with everyone than we know. The best discovery, though, was how much less self-conscious I was when I was thinking about how I could be of service, spread a little sunshine. I actually had a good time and left feeling pretty good about myself too!
There's something about "being the change you want to see in the world" (Buddha, I think or maybe Ghandi)..... and "giving what we want/need to order to get it"...... anyway, it's helped me.....
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Join Date: May 2012
Location: New York, NY
Posts: 41
Interesting thoughts, SoberByTheSea -- I know what you mean by the hard core party situations. My college friends still have an annual drinking contest with heavy duty beer chugging all night and it's a complete mess but also a reunion of sorts. I think if I went the result would be digital -- I'd either not drink at all and it would be a little odd or I'd get obliterated. Completely missing it is too bad b/c then I've missed the get-together. That's the sort of thing I'm struggling with. I suppose one of the things I'm hearing is that it's possible to go to these things and not drink if you know it's not a trigger for you personally. And part of what Basejumper was saying is that whether you're drinking or not is much less of a big deal to other people than you think.
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Join Date: May 2012
Location: New York, NY
Posts: 41
To everyone who commented on this thread, I think you've made a huge difference in my life in just 12 days. I feel like a different person now and have all of you to thank.
Most important may have been the comments about moderation not being doable -- I think inside I knew this was correct when I read that and it gave me the conviction to take the direction of abstinence.
In terms of personal insight, ReggieWayne's comment in another thread that he realized he might not have chosen his wife if he hadn't been drinking rings true with me too -- we met drinking, spent a lot of time drinking and drunk together, and had some terrible fights while drunk. Definitely not the type of relationship I would want to take on in the future.
Most important may have been the comments about moderation not being doable -- I think inside I knew this was correct when I read that and it gave me the conviction to take the direction of abstinence.
In terms of personal insight, ReggieWayne's comment in another thread that he realized he might not have chosen his wife if he hadn't been drinking rings true with me too -- we met drinking, spent a lot of time drinking and drunk together, and had some terrible fights while drunk. Definitely not the type of relationship I would want to take on in the future.
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Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: USA
Posts: 513
Originally Posted by RoryGallagher 
So I'm wondering if I'm capable of sticking to something like a 2 drink rule. I read about the military's 0-0-1-3 rule, which is 0 underage drinking, 0 drinking and driving, 1 drink per hour limit and 3 drink per day limit. I'm really into achieving things through systematic application of rules that work, and maybe the same thing would work here. Dunno, but I really don't want to continue with the occasional binge drinking / terrible recovery days and physical/social/psychological damage that goes along with it.
Thanks for listening and any comments/thoughts.
Thanks for listening and any comments/thoughts.
I think that if this kind of 0-0-1-3 rule worked for alcoholics we'd all be going with that instead of abstinence, at least I would be!
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Join Date: May 2012
Location: New York, NY
Posts: 41
Good point, Payton! I'm guessing they don't have much tolerance for soldiers that let the booze get in the way of duty. I know US ships are dry and the sailors generally go nuts when they pull into a foreign port, but I guess they're on leave then. British ships have alcohol on board I think, must be interesting, wonder what the rules are for that.
But I'm glad I went the dry route rather than trying the 0-0-1-3 moderation approach. From what I've been hearing and I probably know myself that would have been a failure and I'm just happier not drinking at all.
But I'm glad I went the dry route rather than trying the 0-0-1-3 moderation approach. From what I've been hearing and I probably know myself that would have been a failure and I'm just happier not drinking at all.
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