Hello from Minnesota
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Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Oakdale, Mn.
Posts: 4
Hello from Minnesota
Hi, My name is Kelley (male). I am BoPolar-II and I've been sober since 9/27/2000. However...I relapsed. I feel very guilty and bad. So does my family. Mainly my mother. She just can't get over the fact that I did. Jesus...I'm sorry. Ok? I love my mother but am I now a bad human being? I know I need to hit a meeting and speak to my peers. But....I've been on a HUGE binge!!! On my 5th day. I am drinking now and I need someone to talk to. Will you help me? I just want someone to talk to.
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Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,432
Hi and welcome VolatileThreat 
you'll find a lot of support here.
Try not to worry about guilt or regret or shame or whatever else right now - it can stop you from doing what you need to do - which is reach out and get the help you need.
I think people are entitled to be mad at us...we can't tell them how to feel...but we can deal with that later when we're sober and our words & actions will really mean something y'know?
D
you'll find a lot of support here.
Try not to worry about guilt or regret or shame or whatever else right now - it can stop you from doing what you need to do - which is reach out and get the help you need.
I think people are entitled to be mad at us...we can't tell them how to feel...but we can deal with that later when we're sober and our words & actions will really mean something y'know?
D
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Oakdale, Mn.
Posts: 4
Thank you!!!! For your reply!!! I truly appreciate that. I didn't think that I would get a reply that quick. Ok, So I need not to worry about my guilt? Because I do. I feel very guilty. However in a stupid way I really don't give a "crap". I mean I am still a loving human being, Right?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Oakdale, Mn.
Posts: 4
BTW...I really want to stop but I can't. I swear on my daughters life that I really do want to stop with my binge but I just can't stop. Why can't I stop? I just can't stop. Have any of you read; "Drinking-A love story" by Caroline Knapp. if not....get it. I'm not a reader but this was my FIRST book that I've read since I got sober. So please read it
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Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,432
so I need not to worry about my guilt? Because I do. I feel very guilty.
I dealt with my guilt by accepting I'd done things I wasn't proud of, but also accepting that the past is the past. I can't change a second.
Its what I do today that matters.
The best amends are done showing ppl you've changed...not telling them, I think
I know everyone I knew had heard it all before, y'know?
I think all thats best down the road...I've seen many people come unstuck by trying fix everything instantly. It's a natural reaction but it doesn't work like that.
Focus on the sobriety thing for now is my advice.
Putting anything else ahead of staying sober is like putting the cart before the horse.
D
Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: South East England
Posts: 8,009
Hi VT and welcome to SR.
Keep posting. There aren't many of us here who haven't experienced those feelings of guilt and shame, we understand.
You can deal with those when you are ready. For now, find your support network which helped you before, meet other alcoholics in recovery because they won't judge. Above all, stop drinking now. That must be your first step.
We are all here for you x
Keep posting. There aren't many of us here who haven't experienced those feelings of guilt and shame, we understand.
You can deal with those when you are ready. For now, find your support network which helped you before, meet other alcoholics in recovery because they won't judge. Above all, stop drinking now. That must be your first step.
We are all here for you x
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Posts: 1,226
You can't change your past. It is done. Yes, you can deal with the guilt and make amends later. Right now, focus on getting well.
You can't start a new life if you are still reading the same chapter.
Keep posting, and keep working at sobriety. It is both possible and wonderful.
You can't start a new life if you are still reading the same chapter.
Keep posting, and keep working at sobriety. It is both possible and wonderful.
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Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Between Meetings
Posts: 8,997
Originally Posted by VolatileThreat 
Hi, My name is Kelley (male). I am BoPolar-II and I've been sober since 9/27/2000. However...I relapsed. I feel very guilty and bad. So does my family. Mainly my mother. She just can't get over the fact that I did. Jesus...I'm sorry. Ok? I love my mother but am I now a bad human being? I know I need to hit a meeting and speak to my peers. But....I've been on a HUGE binge!!! On my 5th day. I am drinking now and I need someone to talk to. Will you help me? I just want someone to talk to.
SR Fan
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Mississippi
Posts: 7,910
Welcome Kelley!
We're glad you're here and want to support you...... Relapse is always a possibility for us - you're not the only one who's gone through this. It's hard for any of us to stop once we've gotten started again. Do you have a doctor you can call for help with detox or sober friends to support you?
This is a great place - I hope you come back and talk it out with us!
We're glad you're here and want to support you...... Relapse is always a possibility for us - you're not the only one who's gone through this. It's hard for any of us to stop once we've gotten started again. Do you have a doctor you can call for help with detox or sober friends to support you?
This is a great place - I hope you come back and talk it out with us!
Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 31,179
(((Kelley))) - Welcome to SR! I, too, went through a lot of guilt. However, I realized that by numbing out the guilt, I was only doing stuff that was going to bring MORE guilt on me later.
The people who love me were angry and hurt. As I also have loved ones who are/were addicts, I get that.
When I first found SR, I lurked for about 2 years...read everything I could. Still used, occasionally, got clean again, relapsed, had had enough. I finally signed on at 6 months in recovery. I found out that, no matter what people used/drank, we all had a lot of similarities. I could see "me" in a lot of other people's posts. I realized that if THEY could do it, I could, too.
Keep reading and posting. I hope you're able to stop this binge, but I do recommend seeing a dr. and being honest about your drinking.
Hugs and prayers,
Amy
The people who love me were angry and hurt. As I also have loved ones who are/were addicts, I get that.
When I first found SR, I lurked for about 2 years...read everything I could. Still used, occasionally, got clean again, relapsed, had had enough. I finally signed on at 6 months in recovery. I found out that, no matter what people used/drank, we all had a lot of similarities. I could see "me" in a lot of other people's posts. I realized that if THEY could do it, I could, too.
Keep reading and posting. I hope you're able to stop this binge, but I do recommend seeing a dr. and being honest about your drinking.
Hugs and prayers,
Amy
Member
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Baton Rouge, La.
Posts: 15,238
21 yrs sober later for me, I still dont believe
my family believes I am a true alcoholic. I heard
often that, 'no you are not an alcoholic and that
it is all in my head", or "im just using "alcoholic"
as a crutch or excuse to avoid situations.
Im not staying sober for no one but the Man
upstairs and myself. My recovery belongs to
me and I am responsible for it and my actions.
Living an open, honest life in all I do has kept
me sober a many one days at a time to get me
where I am today.
So can you.
my family believes I am a true alcoholic. I heard
often that, 'no you are not an alcoholic and that
it is all in my head", or "im just using "alcoholic"
as a crutch or excuse to avoid situations.
Im not staying sober for no one but the Man
upstairs and myself. My recovery belongs to
me and I am responsible for it and my actions.
Living an open, honest life in all I do has kept
me sober a many one days at a time to get me
where I am today.
So can you.
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