ProblemDrinker

I have been completely dry for 6 weeks and I have seen a transformation in my health, both physical and mental, energy levels and general well being. I have really enjoyed this short journey.

Here's the thing. I haven't been out socialising much, just family events which I have enjoyed in my new state of clarity, don't get me wrong, and I intend to continue my journey as I can see the huge benefits of total sobriety.

We are going away for the weekend with a couple of friends and they are buying the booze. They don't know I have quit recently (not an issue really, just giving you the scenario). I said to my wife, it would be great if the last 6 weeks has instilled the value of sobriety in me, but it would be nice

TO HAVE A COUPLE OF DRINKS THIS WEEKEND...there I said it. LOL.

She has no problem with me doing that if thats what I want to do, and I would enjoy a glass or two of wine ( as I used to 90% of the time) I would just like to test out my new frame of mind to see if I can eradicate those 10% events which led to the usual debauchery and blackouts.

I know the feeling here would be why risk it? But is it wrong to give this a test run? To see if I can live with having the odd drink at special events...I would have strict rules that I would communicate with my wife...Limit of 3 beers or 2 glasses of wine for example. I could see how this goes..and take it forwards..

There is that voice at the back of my head saying don't do it..you will slide down the slope again, but if I could have the strength of will to quit for 6 weeks, surely I should try to crdit my self with having the strength of mind to severely moderate my drinking moving forwards.

I could even call it part of my recovery which is what it would be for me...

I am expecting a lot of heat on this one...I've got big shoulders. Let me know if this kind of recovery is possible, feasible, depends completely on the individual etc.

If I go with this I'd like to share my experience with you guys to let you know how it goes.

Thanks

PD

desertsong

Well, PD, you're right about one thing ... you probably won't get a lot of support on this. Many of us, if not all of us, have tried the moderation to one degree or another during our drinking careers, and were not successful. If you are an alcoholic - and only you can decide that, not us - once you take that first drink, you're finished. I always say it's like releasing the brakes on a runaway train ... one drink and off you go into oblivion.

I did the same thing ... got a few weeks of sobriety under my belt and thought I'd "experiment" with a couple of drinks. I always thought that once I got a handle on things, I could drink like a normal person. I actually managed to pull it off for short periods of time. But eventually, whether it took days or weeks, I was back where I was before. Moderation turned into benders. And I always ended up worse off than where I had been before.

I don't recommend it, but that's just me. It would be a shame to throw away 6 weeks of sobriety on an "experiment" that is most likely to go horribly wrong. Why not just keep going? What do you have to lose by staying sober? And what do you have to lose by getting back on the "drunk train?" Just a thought.

foodie1

Well done on your 6 weeks PD, that said, why do you want to give it up? You seem to like it. I totally understand wanting just a glass or two of wine with friends, we all do, but that's exactly why we're all here, because there's no such thing as a glass or two for us. For you there might be, that's for you to decide. That 10% of the time must have been bad enough to bring you here, and keep you sober for 6 weeks. Maybe the 90% wasn't worth it in the end?
Wishing you all the best

OCDDan

yes,

just look at your username for a second opinion, sorry, tough love i guess.

thesun

Well done on 6 weeks. Just remember alcohol produces cravings for more, the opposite to what food does to hunger. Don't do it.

doggonecarl

After a long absence from SR, and drinking I assume, you posted this:

I've knocked booze on the head. For good. I joined here a couple of years ago and made a handful of posts and tried to give up after a blackout night - but this time, after my recent blackout, it was like a light switch just flicked in my head - I kind of knew that this was it. I am in it for the long haul.

How soon we forget...

Newatthis34

For me having one or two drinks, besides being unrealistic, wouldn't be enjoyable simply because I'd only feel I was warming up. To be honest I would prefer to have zero than torture myself with a couple. Of course I'd keep going beyond #2 and have an all-out binge, then be so disgusted next day that I'd say to myself, 'What the hell' and be back at square one again drinking every day etc etc. I can see the sequence so clearly from this standpoint.

suki44883

You said you have enjoyed the past six weeks of sobriety, so why put an end to it? What is so great about drinking alcohol? That voice in the back of your head is right. You shouldn't do this, but there's no way we can stop you. It's your life. It just doesn't make any sense to me. Good luck.

SASA

well I am jeleous. I know I could never have a few. But if you are not the norm and can really do this that would be great. As for me, I know I will never be able to just have a few and I know I do not want to go back to hell... Life is so much more enjoyable now that I don't drink

LDT

" Warning ,Warning, Danger, Will Robinson! " ( Lost in Space )

I don't mean to be curt, but you already know the answer to your question. I doubt any of us here will say your idea is a good one. I'm 15 months sober, and the only reason I am telling you that is because for a VERY long time I thought "moderation" was possible.

It's not......

ProblemDrinker

That hit me like a left hook to the chin..

..got me thinking tho. Thanks.

eJoshua

Congrats on 6 weeks. Drinking has absolutely nothing to do with recovery. It's like putting out a fire with gasoline.

If you want to drink that's your decision to make, but don't give in to the delusion that you're becoming more healthy by doing it.

ProblemDrinker

Why do you all have to make SO MUCH SENSE!! It's annoying lol.

Yes, the more I'm thinking about it the more I know it's not an option..

I just had a look over on the MM forum 'out of interest'. Not very inspiring stuff at all...

The thing is I was never 'dependant' on alcohol, just would drink to excess on occassion...it's those 'occassions' that I'd like to see if I can erdicate completely...

I'm re-reading my own recent posts which is bringing me slowly down to earth..

breath

In the BB this test is recommended, if you can moderate you may not have a problem with Alcohol, but if you can't, best to work on the obvious; and giving up booze for life is a big decision, are you ready if you fail the test?

pg 31/p1 "If anyone ho is showing inability to control his drinking can do the right-about-face and drink like a gentleman, our hats are off to him Heaven knows we have tried hard enough and long enough to drink like other people!

And if it helps, i spent last weekend in Napa Valley, no obsession and had a good time, no pressure, at 11 months of hard work and blissful sobriety.

eJoshua

Don't worry about it, I'm glad you thought it through instead of acting impulsively.

m1k3

Good job.

To me it was just easier to quit than go through the headaches of is it ok to drink today, how much am I allowed to drink, if I want just one more is that ok. etc, etc.

To me it is just easier to say I will never drink again and I will never change my mind.

Now I don't have to waste time even thinking about it.

artsoul

Firstly, congratulations on your 6 weeks! Sounds like you're doing well, feeling better,etc., which is great!

I get that you think it would be nice to be a normal drinker, but being a normal drinker is more than just the quantity of alcohol we have - it's about our mentality.
I think this says a lot..... I believe it's possible to limit ourselves for a while, but we'll never have the social drinker's mindset, so there will come a time when we mess up and have that third drink, or justify that we've done so well, we can start having a drink at home with dinner, etc. etc.......

The problem with that kind of experiment is that if we fail at moderation we just get the same old misery, but if we have some success, we're in real big trouble.....

Sapling

I have to wonder about a thread from somebody that chose the name "ProblemDrinker" asking about moderation.

least

The problem I see here is that you're arguing with yourself, back and forth in your head, about being able to drink moderately. Like a normal drinker... who never gives it a second thought. I wanted to drink normally too but realized that normal drinkers don't agonize over their drinking. They have one or two and that's it, no arguing, no convincing, no 'drinking rules'.

I can't tell you what to do, it's your life after all, but I'm just glad I've stayed sober for over two years now. No more arguing with myself, no more trying to be 'normal' - which is something I'm not. I gave up the struggle and am the better for it.

zanzibar

Hey ProblemDrinker. If you were looking for a question that would trigger a response from everyone on the forum, you found it. And I think everyone is going to give the same answer. The only reason your wife says she has no problem with this is because she is ready to support you in any way she can, and realizes it has to be your decision. Not that she actually agrees with it. Good luck and hope you make the right decision.