kkarla

Just want to ask.....if someone had a drink problem, then returned to moderate drinking and were fine 9 times out of 10, does that still make them an alcoholic?? Dont millions round the world have the odd slip where they get steaming and cant remember? I know loads who do. What defines an "Alcoholic"? xx

Bored3

Hi ProblemDrinker,

It seems as though you've already made your mind up. You will not get any support for this method on here because it is a forum full of people who cannot control their alcoholism, alcoholics or whatever label you wish to choose.

You may be able to moderate. If you can, well done. But there is a chance you will wake up tomorrow, next week, or next month or year from now thinking you need to start again.

From reading your previous posts, I would not advise drinking moderately. I've tried and failed many times over years, in the end I've come to realise it's not worth it and the cons massively outweigh the pros for me.

However, you are your own person. It is your right to drink if you so choose, and nobody here can tell you any differently. People here can only advise, they are not you and it is up to you what you want to do with your life.

I hope you make the right decision for yourself.

soberbythesea

I think the definition of "alcoholic" is highly debatable, and beyond the scope of this thread.

For me, when I drank, I was indeed "fine" 9 times out of 10, in terms of not getting myself into any major trouble. But that 10th time caused me enough problems over the years that I got sick of it. And remember, the other 9 times you drink heavily are still damaging your liver and putting you at heightened risk for certain cancers, etc., whether you get yourself into any trouble or not.

I think the thing to ask yourself is not whether you are an alcoholic, but whether alcohol is causing problems in your life. The OP's name is ProblemDrinker, which would seem to answer that question.

hypochondriac

PD, thanks for posting this because the replies have helped me and probably countless other people who think they might be able to moderate their drinking. Actually I did moderate my drinking quite successfully..I went from drinking half a litre of vodka and a few beers to just 4 beers a night for quite a while, and while my drinking did progress after that it wasn't so bad...at least I wasn't having black outs anymore. I'm worried that you can moderate and you'll stop binge drinking and start drinking smaller regular amounts and over years your health will deteriorate, black out free but with plenty of other problems related to drinking...

ACT10Npack

I remember reading that on a forum (not on here) wanted to moderate his drinking and he was going to therapy. The therapist told him that it was possible to moderate his drinking but not having at least one year old sobriety which was the minimum. On top of that he had to deal with is issues and problems and any type of depression/anxiety that he was going through.

So, just having 6 weeks of sobriety is not enough to even think about to moderate your drinking. If you feel healthier and feel better then why mess it up now with trying to moderating your drinking when you should be taking this time to deal with all your issues/problems/depression/anxiety you may have before trying to moderating your drinking.

Good lucky with your decision!

kkarla

Ive watched plenty of people try and modersate and fail miserably. Its a shame. I have been moderating my drinking for 7 months now. Yes drink was causing me problems,but for now i seem to be ok. Will this last,??? Who knows?? But i do know i can stop after a couple.....i used to be so selfish i would choose not to,i liked the high and the escapism it gave me x if in doubt,dont do it. Ive seen people try moderate even though they doubted themselves and one unfortunately died trying to control xx

Newatthis34

That just about says it all for me if I contemplate moderation...Either way the mental obsession remains and that is what ultimately drives me insane about booze.

TheRestorative

I would have to disagree, with grace of course. If you're here looking for support, and you just had a 6-week run without alcohol, and now you're considering testing whether or not alcohol in moderation is right for you, then you're dependant on the stuff.

I would also say that if you're deliberating about this as much as you are, that there's a problem there. You want to feel something, which is why you want to drink. Once that feeling behind the eyes hits you, you're going to want to keep it there, and then you'll want to increase the feeling, and then things get happier and louder, and another drink just seems like a good idea....

We all know the downward spiral that comes from this. Please do not test it. It's an experiment that is bound to fail. 6 weeks, in my opinion, is not a long enough time to break a habit as binding as alcoholism.

suki44883

Normal drinkers do not have to try to moderate. It just comes naturally. After one or two, they are satisfied and don't need any more. If a person is having to keep a count of their drinks, that spells a problem in itself. I also agree that it is not your wife's responsibility to keep track of how much you drink. That is a totally unfair position in which to put her.

Again, it sounds like you've made your decision, even in the face of all the adivce you have received here. I hope you change your mind, but if not, then I hope you don't incur any consequences from drinking again.

seanie1888

PD thanx for bringing this up as its been goin through my head week also if only I could moderate and its great to see all the feedback.
Some people get cross with this question because its the million dollar question for all people with a problem wit da drink - If Only!
I like wat someone said about at least getting a year then having a look at it, to me that sounds very wise, Wat u think Bud? shall we try that together and see how we feel after a year?
I'm just coming up on 100 days so we not far off each other.
Let us know how u get on anyhow man, Good luck

instant

PD
Good luck with what ever you choose. I had drunk so much over the years when I drink it causes a burning in my soul. Moderation never worked for me in the medium to long term. After a few goes I decided it is not worth it

Dee74

welcome back PD

heres the thing...if you're a drinker like me, a period of abstinence does not reset us.

I once stopped drinking for two months...I went back to drinking, a few here, a few there...but very soon went back to my old patterns, but worse...

I did not stop again for several years.
I've heard of people doing the same thing after 25, 30 years.

The 'normal' person says - wow I cut alcohol out of my life 6 weeks ago and I feel awesome...why the hell would I go back to drinking?.....

The alcoholic says - hmmm I haven't drunk for 6 weeks now...guess that means I have control?....

D

Tuitiefruitie

I thought the same thing at almost 2 months. Didn't work. It was a horrible feeling to have to start over and here I am again at almost 2 months. Do I want to drink? Yes. Do I want to start over again? NO!!!!!!!

Dee74

I dunno I was fine 9 times out of ten...more like 1 or 2....

but I'd keep moving the goalposts...

way back in the beginning the aim was not to get sloppy drunk, then it was not to get sloppy drunk too often...then it was not to blackout even again...soon enough I was drinking at home so if I did blackout nothing embarrassing happened...

my circle of friends changed too...I ended up with hard drinkers so that whatever happened it was laughed off...

I don't know your story and you may be different but I think most of us here have fiddled with numbers, and the truth, when it comes to assessing our alcoholism, kkarla.

D

Sapling

I'm not crazy about this idea at all. If you are an alcoholic like me...This would like flushing a year down the toilet. I have accepted that I can't and will not drink again for life...And I'm happy with that. I had my share of alcohol...No more.

kellyrally

hey ProblemDrinker...I think you should listen to that little voice inside your head that is saying don't do it. That's your intuition...you need to follow that.

Goodluck

reggiewayne

I quit drinking on December 3, 2010. Stayed sober for a little over 6 months. In that time I finally felt comfortable being me. I was able to get a good job, make a lot of friends, and was able to just be me everyday. I was active in AA and in this site. I woke up every morning and helped my wife. Cleaned the kitchen, took kids to school, etc... I just tried (and did) put others first and the result was amazing. I got along better with everyone in my life.

So, I thought since I had made all of this personal growth I was qualified to "have a few beers". So I did. It was sometime in mid June I had 3 beers at the pool, then hit the liquor store and bought vodka, then drank quite a bit that night.

From that moment on, my life was different.

I didn't get arrested, didn't lose my job, didn't lose my family, but what I did lose was hope. For some reason (and I think this is fairly common amongst alcoholics) when I drink I change. From the inside. Much more insecure, much more guarded, I lie a lot more, I don't work as hard, I'm not as helpful, I AM DIFFERENT.

It seems silly that drinking the same stuff that I see others drink every time I'm at a game or a resturaunt makes me change so much, but it does.

I basically I have two choices. Drink and be miserable 90% of the time and numb the other 10%. Or, get and stay in recovery and be able to be me 100% of the time.

I also felt like I had what I called "an AA gun to my head" at the end of my sobriety. Meaning, I was sick of everyone telling me how bad things would get if I drank. Who were they to tell me what would happen to me? I was going to show them and show them I did. I started isolating, not calling them, etc... I WAS AN IDIOT!

The bottom line is when I chose to drink I give up the option of being honest. If after a night of drinking you ask me (in the morning) how I'm doing, the answer is ALWAYS fine. The reason is I can't let you in on the hell I'm feeling because it would mean that all of those people where right and I was wrong. So, for me to drink is to give up my right to be honest. When you're not ever being honest you don't feel very good about it. When you're not being honest you feel alone, like you're carrying this big secret around, when you are constantly feeling that way it creates a lot of anxiety.

Well, when you're stuck with shame and anxiety and you can't tell anyone about it because then they'll know you really aren't doing well while drinking, you're screwed. All options other than drinking have been removed...

The ONLY option is to drink. Because that will at least take away all of those feeling (however brief). You see I never drank for the party. I drank for comfort and a sense of belonging. The good news is there are other ways to have comfort and a sense of belonging other than booze.

So, good luck on whatever you decide. But, I promise you'll regret it. That mind sound a bit harsh, but if you truly are an alcoholic, you'll be dissapointed the next day.

suki44883

Thank you for that, Reggie. Thank you so much. I took in every word and it really helps me, right now. I needed to hear that. Thank you.

Retread59

This is from the big book of AA. I know that AA isn't the only method for those who believe they may have a problem with alcohol, but this particular passage is pretty right on, from my experience. Maybe you'll see yourself in it, too.

OheemJah

Don't do it! So what is your hypothesis in this experiment? That you had an epiphany over the past six weeks, completely rewired your brain, and changed your genetics? The best predictor of future behavior is past behavior. Perhaps, you need to have a flashback. Or better yet, fast forward and imagine yourself having fun with your friends after a couple glasses of wine... Do you think you are really going to stop there? One more won't hurt, aaahhh... screw it... I'm getting wasted, I haven't drank in 6 wks (I deserve it). Then, you wake up the next day and feel like a complete idiot, or you wake up the next day and go back into your old habits.