Here I go again....
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: AZ
Posts: 247
Originally Posted by kkarla 
I wasnt court ordered. Life was crap. And i was binge drinking when my son went to his dads. My binges cause alot of hassle and mum said she thought i should give it a go.....so i did, but i didnt feel at all like everyone else. I went for my mums sake, but didnt last, and i knocked the binge drinking on the head on my own. Havent binged for nearly a year. Ive drank, but not binged or caused any hassle. I went out of curiosity too. But i honestly kept getting told i was in denial when i said i didnt think i was an alcoholic.....just because of what happened with my hangover the other day im thinking, ****...what if???xx
After I had my blackout after drinking a few glasses of red wine and don't even remember driving home, a friend of my dad took me to AA and gave me the big book. I never felt the whole couple of months I went that I was told I was in denial. I found people who understood how scared I was because I was behind the wheel of a car and driving in a blackout. I really wanted to know if I had a problem. They told me that I was one drink away and that I had the choice to stop or continue to social drink with my friends and continue on a path that I don't want to be on. My cousain Danny many years ago when he was a young man stopped for beers on the way home and killed a woman who had children walking down the street. AA has kept him sober. He has to live with that for the rest of his life. Some of us have genes that make us people that can't touch booze. Only you know if you have a problem.
Only God knows why some people can drink and never have a problem, and others drink a couple of glasses of wine and blackout. You have to want it for yourself. Maybe you have reached that place where you are scared enough to really look into if you have a problem are not. All I can do is to encourage you to stay around and read and talk to the people here. There is no judgment here. There is no judgment in AA, but only people who are concerned about you.
Love and Blessings
Chrisy
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: KS
Posts: 55
Thanks for the reply.
I didn't take my moms offer up although I'm sure it still stands. We've kinda had some other recent issues thrown at us lately, not because of my drinking for the record.
I'll say this, I've concluded that I'm my own worst enemy. I'd like to get sober but I can't imagine not having this golden liquid in my life and I've said that before.
Rehab is about 12K if I'm not mistaken. I've got good insurance but I know it wont cover it all, I'm worried how much would come out of moms pocket. I know I know it shouldn't be about money but more about me getting straight.
I'd just hate to fail her after dropping alot of coin. I bang myself up so much over this fiasco trying to figure out what to do. Like I said I feel like my own worst enemy.
I didn't take my moms offer up although I'm sure it still stands. We've kinda had some other recent issues thrown at us lately, not because of my drinking for the record.
I'll say this, I've concluded that I'm my own worst enemy. I'd like to get sober but I can't imagine not having this golden liquid in my life and I've said that before.
Rehab is about 12K if I'm not mistaken. I've got good insurance but I know it wont cover it all, I'm worried how much would come out of moms pocket. I know I know it shouldn't be about money but more about me getting straight.
I'd just hate to fail her after dropping alot of coin. I bang myself up so much over this fiasco trying to figure out what to do. Like I said I feel like my own worst enemy.
Originally Posted by Threshold
Tony, I am glad to hear from you, but sorry that not much has changed. I had thought you'd taken up your mother's generous offer and had gone into rehab, though I do recall you had many reservations about taking her money etc.
Waiting for the perfect time and place to get clean etc, is risky business. we can always find a reason or two or six hundred why we just can't do it now, shouldn't accept this offer, etc etc.
It is true that in the end it's on us. We either want it and do it or....
I've heard you say "it's definitely time" many times over..if it is, then? People stop drinking, many of us without rehab. Rehab may help you very much, but you don't have to wait on it...or you can go to one that's neither in your town OR KC...it's a big world.
As always, you have my full love and support.
Waiting for the perfect time and place to get clean etc, is risky business. we can always find a reason or two or six hundred why we just can't do it now, shouldn't accept this offer, etc etc.
It is true that in the end it's on us. We either want it and do it or....
I've heard you say "it's definitely time" many times over..if it is, then? People stop drinking, many of us without rehab. Rehab may help you very much, but you don't have to wait on it...or you can go to one that's neither in your town OR KC...it's a big world.
As always, you have my full love and support.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: KS
Posts: 55
As for the rest of the folks that responed, thanks! I'm jobless because of my drinking and money is getting low because I'm burning it in beer and smokes. I need to figure something out soon.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Between Meetings
Posts: 8,997
Originally Posted by Tony88
As for the rest of the folks that responed, thanks! I'm jobless because of my drinking and money is getting low because I'm burning it in beer and smokes. I need to figure something out soon.
I feel like the only time I come to this forum is to B**** but I'm realizing I need some damn help. I was recently guided by someone who lined me up with some AA meetings but I took the easy way out and never went.
I think if there was an easy way out...This alcoholic would have gone for it. I couldn't find one. But I had to stop...And I wanted to stop. I was willing to go to any lengths...And I did. When you've had enough...Maybe you'll try it. You also mention...
I'll say this, I've concluded that I'm my own worst enemy. I'd like to get sober but I can't imagine not having this golden liquid in my life and I've said that before.
Maybe you just need to get to the point....Where you can't imagine life with alcohol in it anymore...You can't live like that anymore. That's where I got...That gave me a real kick in the willingness department...I was ready to try anything. Maybe you should try AVRT....I don't kinow much about it.....But there are some people here that do. Maybe that's an easier way to do it. I don't know. All I know is I had to stop for good...Change my life completely and I did. Good luck to you Tony. I hope you get it this time.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Posts: 1,226
Tony,
You wrote this. . .
"I'll say this, I've concluded that I'm my own worst enemy."
It made me think of Dee's signature line:
"Looking back, you realize that a very special person passed briefly through your life, and that person was you. It is not too late to become that person again." ~Robert Brault
Tony, you have the power to turn this around. You can have a different relationship with yourself. You can become friends with everything that is great about you. You don't have to been your own worst enemy.
Blessings to you.
You wrote this. . .
"I'll say this, I've concluded that I'm my own worst enemy."
It made me think of Dee's signature line:
"Looking back, you realize that a very special person passed briefly through your life, and that person was you. It is not too late to become that person again." ~Robert Brault
Tony, you have the power to turn this around. You can have a different relationship with yourself. You can become friends with everything that is great about you. You don't have to been your own worst enemy.
Blessings to you.
SR Fan
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Mississippi
Posts: 7,910
You remind me a bit of myself the last few months of my drinking. I'd drink and think...... think about getting sober, think about what would happen if I kept drinking, think about how the state of my life..... think, think, think, and it kept me in my own little prison.
I'd say forget the thinking and jump in with both feet - go to treatment as soon as they have room for you.
(Which is an insane thought, considering what it does to us, right?)
It's true that you can't imagine being sober because the addiction is in charge and you have to get sober before you can know what it's like. I thought I couldn't live without alcohol either, but after reading what people here were saying, I decided there was a chance I might be wrong. I was, and I'm glad for it. So.... at least consider the possibility you could be wrong too and then give yourself a chance to find out!:ghug3
I'd say forget the thinking and jump in with both feet - go to treatment as soon as they have room for you.
I'd like to get sober but I can't imagine not having this golden liquid in my life
It's true that you can't imagine being sober because the addiction is in charge and you have to get sober before you can know what it's like. I thought I couldn't live without alcohol either, but after reading what people here were saying, I decided there was a chance I might be wrong. I was, and I'm glad for it. So.... at least consider the possibility you could be wrong too and then give yourself a chance to find out!:ghug3
A girl can dream...
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Recovery Road
Posts: 388
Hi Tony88
You should give AA meetings a chance. I went to only two meetings years ago and thought it wasn't for me. Now I'm going to try again but not give up so quickly. I have some acquaintances who go religiously and haven't drank in 20+ years. They say it's the main reason they haven't started again. I know it's hard to go the first time but you'll be glad you did.
An remember, do it for yourself - not your mother, brother... for YOURSELF!!
You should give AA meetings a chance. I went to only two meetings years ago and thought it wasn't for me. Now I'm going to try again but not give up so quickly. I have some acquaintances who go religiously and haven't drank in 20+ years. They say it's the main reason they haven't started again. I know it's hard to go the first time but you'll be glad you did.
An remember, do it for yourself - not your mother, brother... for YOURSELF!!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: KS
Posts: 55
Originally Posted by lifewithoutbooz
Hi Tony88
You should give AA meetings a chance. I went to only two meetings years ago and thought it wasn't for me. Now I'm going to try again but not give up so quickly. I have some acquaintances who go religiously and haven't drank in 20+ years. They say it's the main reason they haven't started again. I know it's hard to go the first time but you'll be glad you did.
An remember, do it for yourself - not your mother, brother... for YOURSELF!!
You should give AA meetings a chance. I went to only two meetings years ago and thought it wasn't for me. Now I'm going to try again but not give up so quickly. I have some acquaintances who go religiously and haven't drank in 20+ years. They say it's the main reason they haven't started again. I know it's hard to go the first time but you'll be glad you did.
An remember, do it for yourself - not your mother, brother... for YOURSELF!!
I know I need to give AA a shot. Just have a fear of it for some reason couldn't tell you why.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Between Meetings
Posts: 8,997
Originally Posted by Tony88
I know I need to give AA a shot. Just have a fear of it for some reason couldn't tell you why.
Member
Join Date: May 2009
Posts: 14,911
I'm really starting to feel like somebody needs to snatch my arse up and put me on the right path.
If you have passed out in your truck it suggest to me that you've been driving drunk at some point. Keep that up and you will probably get your arse snatched up.
Get some help (AA has worked for me) before your bottom becomes even lower.
If you have passed out in your truck it suggest to me that you've been driving drunk at some point. Keep that up and you will probably get your arse snatched up.
Get some help (AA has worked for me) before your bottom becomes even lower.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Home - there's no place like Home
Posts: 974
Originally Posted by Tony88
Some of you might know my story.
Overall I'm a 24 year old drunk living at home with no life ahead of me if things don't change.
I'm really starting to feel like somebody needs to snatch my arse up and put me on the right path.
Overall I'm a 24 year old drunk living at home with no life ahead of me if things don't change.
I'm really starting to feel like somebody needs to snatch my arse up and put me on the right path.
Crazy Cat Lady
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Seattle, WA
Posts: 2,661
Tony, everyone is terrified at their first AA meeting. It's fine. Don't feel obligated to speak. Remember that while you may feel that you have nothing in common with the people there, you are a fellow alcoholic who wants to quit and that's all it takes. Give AA a try. Rehab is fine but it's only there to jumpstart your recovery. It only lasts a few weeks then it's done. AA is there for you forever. It's that safety net you can always count on. You'll meet people in all stages of recovery. Don't you want to meet someone with 20 years of sobriety and ask him or her, "how did you do it?" It's a wonderful program with remarkable people.
Grateful to be free
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Arizona
Posts: 3,680
Originally Posted by artsoul
You remind me a bit of myself the last few months of my drinking. I'd drink and think...... think about getting sober, think about what would happen if I kept drinking, think about how the state of my life..... think, think, think, and it kept me in my own little prison.
I'd say forget the thinking and jump in with both feet - go to treatment as soon as they have room for you.
(Which is an insane thought, considering what it does to us, right?)
It's true that you can't imagine being sober because the addiction is in charge and you have to get sober before you can know what it's like. I thought I couldn't live without alcohol either, but after reading what people here were saying, I decided there was a chance I might be wrong. I was, and I'm glad for it. So.... at least consider the possibility you could be wrong too and then give yourself a chance to find out!:ghug3
I'd say forget the thinking and jump in with both feet - go to treatment as soon as they have room for you.
(Which is an insane thought, considering what it does to us, right?)
It's true that you can't imagine being sober because the addiction is in charge and you have to get sober before you can know what it's like. I thought I couldn't live without alcohol either, but after reading what people here were saying, I decided there was a chance I might be wrong. I was, and I'm glad for it. So.... at least consider the possibility you could be wrong too and then give yourself a chance to find out!:ghug3
Grateful to be free
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Arizona
Posts: 3,680
tony,
my boyfriend is 15 yrs older than you...but not too far off from your situation.
He wants to BE sober, but he doesn't want to to what it takes to GET sober, and to learn to LIVE sober.
He's all kinds of scared, but lately he's been getting more scared of what happens if he goes on like he has been the past few months....
Like you, he doesn't want to take his parent's money unless he is REALLY going to do this thing.
I respect that.
My BF had been sober for 5 months last year, and liked where his life was headed, but when things got hairy, he decided that he really just liked beer...
it sounded like that should simplify things, but somehow it didn't. Because there are lots of other things he likes too, and beer has become a jealous mistress keeping him away from all the other things he loves.
I'm glad you're here, on SR, and here with us as in still alive and kicking. Part of you wants this, don't let fear talk you out of it.
my boyfriend is 15 yrs older than you...but not too far off from your situation.
He wants to BE sober, but he doesn't want to to what it takes to GET sober, and to learn to LIVE sober.
He's all kinds of scared, but lately he's been getting more scared of what happens if he goes on like he has been the past few months....
Like you, he doesn't want to take his parent's money unless he is REALLY going to do this thing.
I respect that.
My BF had been sober for 5 months last year, and liked where his life was headed, but when things got hairy, he decided that he really just liked beer...
it sounded like that should simplify things, but somehow it didn't. Because there are lots of other things he likes too, and beer has become a jealous mistress keeping him away from all the other things he loves.
I'm glad you're here, on SR, and here with us as in still alive and kicking. Part of you wants this, don't let fear talk you out of it.
Grateful to be free
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Arizona
Posts: 3,680
tony,
my boyfriend is 15 yrs older than you...but not too far off from your situation.
He wants to BE sober, but he doesn't want to to what it takes to GET sober, and to learn to LIVE sober.
He's all kinds of scared, but lately he's been getting more scared of what happens if he goes on like he has been the past few months....
Like you, he doesn't want to take his parent's money unless he is REALLY going to do this thing.
I respect that.
My BF had been sober for 5 months last year, and liked where his life was headed, but when things got hairy, he decided that he really just liked beer...
it sounded like that should simplify things, but somehow it didn't. Because there are lots of other things he likes too, and beer has become a jealous mistress keeping him away from all the other things he loves.
I'm glad you're here, on SR, and here with us as in still alive and kicking. Part of you wants this, don't let fear talk you out of it.
my boyfriend is 15 yrs older than you...but not too far off from your situation.
He wants to BE sober, but he doesn't want to to what it takes to GET sober, and to learn to LIVE sober.
He's all kinds of scared, but lately he's been getting more scared of what happens if he goes on like he has been the past few months....
Like you, he doesn't want to take his parent's money unless he is REALLY going to do this thing.
I respect that.
My BF had been sober for 5 months last year, and liked where his life was headed, but when things got hairy, he decided that he really just liked beer...
it sounded like that should simplify things, but somehow it didn't. Because there are lots of other things he likes too, and beer has become a jealous mistress keeping him away from all the other things he loves.
I'm glad you're here, on SR, and here with us as in still alive and kicking. Part of you wants this, don't let fear talk you out of it.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: East Coast, The States
Posts: 12,162
Just so you know, Tony, coaxing or urging from anyone here won't amount to a thing, unless you go look yourself in the mirror now, tell yourself the truth about what needs to happen, and open your door, and begin.
We do not wake up in your life, you do. Start now, and tomorrow you'll be that much closer to living your own answers.
Good luck. If you deeply want to reclaim your life, you can, and you will. Make it your highest priority.
We do not wake up in your life, you do. Start now, and tomorrow you'll be that much closer to living your own answers.
Good luck. If you deeply want to reclaim your life, you can, and you will. Make it your highest priority.
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