Was Once
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Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2012
Posts: 1
Was Once
I stopped 8 years ago, very sick, looking for a way to turn it around and to stop drinking. Three or four drinks at lunch, more on the train home after work, more before and after dinner, another or so before bed into the wee hours. Something, one morning on the way to the train stopped me, sick, feeling the last days approaching, asking myself why. Fear of not being there for my family and the realization of dying a drunk would be an everlasting stigma to my children, I stopped that day, cold turkey. I started walking at the times I would drink. I started running as I became stronger. I entered 5Ks, 10Ks, marathons, triathlons, Ironmans and ultramarathons. I was cured, 5 years in top physical shape.
I lost my job. I sobbed the first day and the first drink I took some time later, who knows why. It was there. I felt I had lost something important and vital to me, something I had worked hard for. I felt a great sense of loss. No boo-hoo here. I have brought this all on myself. Now, underemployed and under motivated, drink has become the focus of my life again. Work, minimum wage, depression, drink, sickness. Never cured, just trying to somehow get back to what I Was Once.
I lost my job. I sobbed the first day and the first drink I took some time later, who knows why. It was there. I felt I had lost something important and vital to me, something I had worked hard for. I felt a great sense of loss. No boo-hoo here. I have brought this all on myself. Now, underemployed and under motivated, drink has become the focus of my life again. Work, minimum wage, depression, drink, sickness. Never cured, just trying to somehow get back to what I Was Once.
SR Fan
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Mississippi
Posts: 7,910
Welcome WasOnce -
You can do it - getting started (or rather thinking about getting started) is the hardest part. Once you start on the road to recovery again you'll start gaining momentum. I relapse twice (both times after 4 years of sobriety) and it really does bring back all the depression/anxiety, denial - the whole bit.
Coming here was what got me back to sanity, knowing that I wasn't alone and could lean on others until I got my footing again.
Really glad you're here!
You can do it - getting started (or rather thinking about getting started) is the hardest part. Once you start on the road to recovery again you'll start gaining momentum. I relapse twice (both times after 4 years of sobriety) and it really does bring back all the depression/anxiety, denial - the whole bit.
Coming here was what got me back to sanity, knowing that I wasn't alone and could lean on others until I got my footing again.
Really glad you're here!
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Posts: 40
I just don't understand what it is about alcohol that makes people even with long term sobriety relapse. I used cocaine for years back in the 80s, which supposedly is a highly addictive drug, but when I quit using, I never relapsed.
Same with tobacco, I quit smoking in 94 and I never smoked again. But alcohol is a totally different evil. I have tried 4 or 5 times now to quit drinking but have relapsed. I'm on my 17th day and was once just reminded
me how powerful this drug really is. I guess the key is vigilance and to never give up when we fall.
Same with tobacco, I quit smoking in 94 and I never smoked again. But alcohol is a totally different evil. I have tried 4 or 5 times now to quit drinking but have relapsed. I'm on my 17th day and was once just reminded
me how powerful this drug really is. I guess the key is vigilance and to never give up when we fall.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: San Diego
Posts: 4,451
Welcome to SR. 
You must have learned a lot in those 5 years, and also learned a lot from your relapse. So have you thought about your plan yet? What you can do this time to help ensure you become the person you want to be?
You must have learned a lot in those 5 years, and also learned a lot from your relapse. So have you thought about your plan yet? What you can do this time to help ensure you become the person you want to be?
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