First night
urban chicken
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Florida
Posts: 94
First night
Hi all, I am a 34 y.o. woman, who wants the old me back. I got drunk last night, and this morning. Today it hit me hard, I can not do this anymore. I've turned into a miserable, sad, verbally abusive alcoholic mess.
I am an alcoholic. Wow those words are bringing relief, not shame.
I hope to learn a lot here, just wanted to say hi and check in.
roosta
I am an alcoholic. Wow those words are bringing relief, not shame.
I hope to learn a lot here, just wanted to say hi and check in.
roosta
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,777
Welcome to the family! :ghug3 I'm glad you're giving up the booze. I gave it up over two years ago (with the help of this site and my counselor) and my life is a thousand times better. I wish you well in your sober journey - you're not alone! 
I gave it up over two years ago (with the help of this site and my counselor) and my life is a thousand times better. I wish you well in your sober journey - you're not alone! 
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,563
Hi Roosta! You sound ready - that's great. I felt relieved when I finally admitted it, too. Wish I had still been in my 30's when I saw the light. We're glad to have you with us.
SR Fan
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Mississippi
Posts: 7,910
Welcome roosta!
I know what you mean about the relief...... Until I posted here, I didn't realize how alone I felt trying to do this on my own (and failing) and putting on a happy face for the world.
Glad you've joined us - keep reading and posting!
I know what you mean about the relief...... Until I posted here, I didn't realize how alone I felt trying to do this on my own (and failing) and putting on a happy face for the world.
Glad you've joined us - keep reading and posting!
urban chicken
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Florida
Posts: 94
Made it through the night okay. Off to work but I will respond later about my plan and such. There is no more alcohol in my home.
Talk to you all soon, thanks for the warm welcome
roosta
Talk to you all soon, thanks for the warm welcome
roosta
urban chicken
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Florida
Posts: 94
Originally Posted by Zebra1275 
Welcome! So what's your plan?
I tried AA once before, and found a lot of comfort in the rooms. I only made it six weeks that time, five years ago. Since then I attempted suicide, lost custody of my little boy, which sent me into a long period of me being a functional drunk. I could hide the pain okay during the day, it was coming home to an empty house that killed me.
I have a good support system, a wonderful new husband who does not drink, and does not ridicule or judge me. I do see my son quite often. I want to be sober and happy again. I want to do this for myself because I've spent the last 15 years being dragged down by a demon, and its one I let in. No more cowering and hiding. I can't live this way anymore.
Thanks for listening.
roosta
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