My Introduction
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2012
Location: vancouver,BC
Posts: 85
My Introduction
Hi everyone,here is a bit about me.I am sure some can relate.
I have been drinking for about 30 years now but not to the extent I have been drinking in the last 5-8 years.I started to drink since I was shy and had social anxiety and alcohol was a great band aid which still works but I need way more alcohol to feel good these days.The thing is the day after drinking I am worse off as I am hungover which makes me more withdrawn,scared, I sweat and will hide if someone comes to the door or I won't even answer the phone.If I do talk to someone the next day and they ask how I am I lie and tell them I am fine.If they were with me the night before then I don't like to talk about it cause I am having more and more black outs and can't remember what I did and am too embarassed to admit it.
I am in Mexico right now and am on Day 3 of not drinking and am spending most of my time in my room and away from restaurants,bars and drinking temptations.I have been in Mexico for 5 1/2 months now and it has been a battle to stop drinking for 4-7 days at a time which I have done due to taking Antabuse but then I start in again cause I only take one pill and don't keep it up.
I know Cinco de Mayo is not big here but there are some places that will celebrate where there will be allot of drinking with all the American's & Canadian's here.I am only on Day 3 of not drinking with very low will power so I am going to stay in and away from the drinking places for sure tonight! Of course everyone is vacationing and having a good time every day here with cerveza's,margarita's, etc so I am keeping a low profile and taking Antabuse every day which scares me from drinking.
I come to Mexico every year for months and drink and have a good time or sometimes have to be told as I can't remember many nights.I have made an idiot of myself and made some very bad choices when I have been drinking.I have tried to quit many,many times and since I am writing this you all know how that worked out.I have gone to AA and hated it cause I am not religious even though they say it is not religious I couldn't stand all the praying and holding hands stuff along with saying my name and I am an alcoholic every time I spoke.I get it that I am an alcoholic or why would I go to AA.
Well I am at my wits end and cannot go on this way drinking,feeling remorseful the next day,feeling sick every day and am on the road to killing myself from drinking.I find that I sweat more even though yes it is hot here but there is an odor which will not go away on me even after many,many showers.I wake up and stink like sweat and have to shower first thing in the morning.
I am coming here in hopes it will help me and have decided when I get home I better darn well try AA again cause it sounds as if there is no hope other than that for an alcoholic.
Other than drinking I eat well,take vitamins,exercise every day,drink tons of water all day which is some healthy stuff but I have learned I just can't kick this Alcohol Addiction on my own.
Thanks for listening guys.....
I have been drinking for about 30 years now but not to the extent I have been drinking in the last 5-8 years.I started to drink since I was shy and had social anxiety and alcohol was a great band aid which still works but I need way more alcohol to feel good these days.The thing is the day after drinking I am worse off as I am hungover which makes me more withdrawn,scared, I sweat and will hide if someone comes to the door or I won't even answer the phone.If I do talk to someone the next day and they ask how I am I lie and tell them I am fine.If they were with me the night before then I don't like to talk about it cause I am having more and more black outs and can't remember what I did and am too embarassed to admit it.
I am in Mexico right now and am on Day 3 of not drinking and am spending most of my time in my room and away from restaurants,bars and drinking temptations.I have been in Mexico for 5 1/2 months now and it has been a battle to stop drinking for 4-7 days at a time which I have done due to taking Antabuse but then I start in again cause I only take one pill and don't keep it up.
I know Cinco de Mayo is not big here but there are some places that will celebrate where there will be allot of drinking with all the American's & Canadian's here.I am only on Day 3 of not drinking with very low will power so I am going to stay in and away from the drinking places for sure tonight! Of course everyone is vacationing and having a good time every day here with cerveza's,margarita's, etc so I am keeping a low profile and taking Antabuse every day which scares me from drinking.
I come to Mexico every year for months and drink and have a good time or sometimes have to be told as I can't remember many nights.I have made an idiot of myself and made some very bad choices when I have been drinking.I have tried to quit many,many times and since I am writing this you all know how that worked out.I have gone to AA and hated it cause I am not religious even though they say it is not religious I couldn't stand all the praying and holding hands stuff along with saying my name and I am an alcoholic every time I spoke.I get it that I am an alcoholic or why would I go to AA.
Well I am at my wits end and cannot go on this way drinking,feeling remorseful the next day,feeling sick every day and am on the road to killing myself from drinking.I find that I sweat more even though yes it is hot here but there is an odor which will not go away on me even after many,many showers.I wake up and stink like sweat and have to shower first thing in the morning.
I am coming here in hopes it will help me and have decided when I get home I better darn well try AA again cause it sounds as if there is no hope other than that for an alcoholic.
Other than drinking I eat well,take vitamins,exercise every day,drink tons of water all day which is some healthy stuff but I have learned I just can't kick this Alcohol Addiction on my own.
Thanks for listening guys.....
Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 31,179
(((cheeto))) - Welcome to SR! You are definitely not alone, lots of people here totally understand where you're at.
I do recommend that if you're read to quit the drinking, you get checked out by a dr. and be totally honest with him/her about your drinking. Alcohol withdrawals can be very serious, even fatal.
SR has been a huge part of my recovery. Though crack is my DOC (drug of choice), I found that no matter what people drink/use, I can find similarities in a lot of stories. I read and read..then read some more when I first came here, and though we seem to belong to a "club" that no one wants to belong to, it's comforting knowing we're not alone.
Hugs and prayers,
Amy
I do recommend that if you're read to quit the drinking, you get checked out by a dr. and be totally honest with him/her about your drinking. Alcohol withdrawals can be very serious, even fatal.
SR has been a huge part of my recovery. Though crack is my DOC (drug of choice), I found that no matter what people drink/use, I can find similarities in a lot of stories. I read and read..then read some more when I first came here, and though we seem to belong to a "club" that no one wants to belong to, it's comforting knowing we're not alone.
Hugs and prayers,
Amy
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Between Meetings
Posts: 8,997
Welcome cheeto...I'm not religious either....But I drank like you for 35 years...I haven't had one in 10 months and have no desire to. As far as holding hands and doing a prayer at the end of the meeting goes?...I think if I had to slow dance with the guy next to me I'd do it. That's how bad I wanted to stop...If the prayer bothers you...you can always leave the meeting 5 minutes early. There may be other ways....But it worked fine for this hopeless alcoholic.
Crazy Cat Lady
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Seattle, WA
Posts: 2,661
SR and AA have been a huge part of my recovery. I personally don't mind saying my name and that i'm an alcoholic because, well, it's the truth. It's pretty humbling too and staying humble keeps me sober.
~sb
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: MD
Posts: 15,960
Welcome to SR!
Religion makes my skin crawl. My sponsor is not religious, either. I am free of alcohol and weed today because of the 12 steps of AA. SR helps, too! I am past my 5000th post here in the past 10 months (I think I found it when I had a month of sobriety). I am 9 days shy of one year of complete and consistent sobriety.
There is AVRT or SMART or Rational Recovery, if you are able to read it and start working that in your life.
Whatever it takes, well, that's where I was when I was at the end of my drinking and weed smoking. Find something you can work and work it like your life depends upon it.
Glad you are here!
Religion makes my skin crawl. My sponsor is not religious, either. I am free of alcohol and weed today because of the 12 steps of AA. SR helps, too! I am past my 5000th post here in the past 10 months (I think I found it when I had a month of sobriety). I am 9 days shy of one year of complete and consistent sobriety.
There is AVRT or SMART or Rational Recovery, if you are able to read it and start working that in your life.
Whatever it takes, well, that's where I was when I was at the end of my drinking and weed smoking. Find something you can work and work it like your life depends upon it.
Glad you are here!
Member
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Chicago, Illinois
Posts: 146
You'll find a lot of people here who also cringe around anything religious. I have the same issue because I suffered from religion for years. But what I do is think of my higher power as the natural process of life or intelligence of the universe or something like that. My sense of the spiritual world is evolving and I'm not going to rush it. When you hear the God stuff, just replace it in your mind with what you feel comfortable with. That whole idea of "take what you need and leave the rest" is serious. The point is that there is something bigger than ourselves. Otherwise, we're making ourselves our own higher power and we know how that ends! Anyway, welcome. You'll find people of all persuasions and walks of life here.
Zorah
Zorah
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,531
Welcome cheeto! I'm so glad you found us and told your story. You have a lot of company now - we all understand - no need to feel hopeless or alone.
I drank my whole life & never dreamed I could live without it. I look back now and don't get why I thought that was living. All I was doing was walking around in a fog, numb to my true feelings. I also started drinking to handle shyness, but all I did was mask my feelings - I never grew or matured the way I could have. It's not too late to turn this all around, though. In my 50's I got sober & I now have over 4 yrs. You can do it, too. Please keep posting and sharing your thoughts with us. We care about you.
I drank my whole life & never dreamed I could live without it. I look back now and don't get why I thought that was living. All I was doing was walking around in a fog, numb to my true feelings. I also started drinking to handle shyness, but all I did was mask my feelings - I never grew or matured the way I could have. It's not too late to turn this all around, though. In my 50's I got sober & I now have over 4 yrs. You can do it, too. Please keep posting and sharing your thoughts with us. We care about you.
Crazy Cat Lady
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Seattle, WA
Posts: 2,661
I'm not religious and i've been plesantly surprised at how my AA groups have not stressed religion. People talk about how God has changed their lives but there's no preaching about how you have to accept God into your life to affect change. All there needs to be is in a belief and a surrendering to a Higher Power. That may sound like it's delving into the worlds of spirituality and religion but it can even be the power of the program and the community of AA. You have to feel that you're not fighting the battle alone. Addiction is a lonely disease. Sobriety is a social state of being. I personally believe that's why people who try to go it alone so often fail.
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: st pete, fl
Posts: 9
as I am hungover which makes me more withdrawn,scared, I sweat and will hide if someone comes to the door or I won't even answer the phone.
Cheeto, I can totally relate to that statement...glad I am not the only one. Wishing you luck..don't be too hard on yourself...I hate that AA stuff too
Cheeto, I can totally relate to that statement...glad I am not the only one. Wishing you luck..don't be too hard on yourself...I hate that AA stuff too
Crazy Cat Lady
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Seattle, WA
Posts: 2,661
What is "that AA stuff?" I believe that you're probably ignorant of the program. Have you read the Big Book or attended a meeting with an open mind and heart? I'm an agnostic and not religious at all and have found that AA has saved my life. So before you knock AA, remember that right now you're hungover and miserable so whatever you've been doing hasn't been working. It may be time for a change and change isn't always easy.
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: st pete, fl
Posts: 9
I am sorry if I stepped on anyone's toes here. I am really not familiar with aa. From meeting people who are in it I got the impression it was religious and cultlike. I may be totally wrong about that. On the other hand, I don't understand why an offhand remark from a total stranger would inspire anyone to even reply much less reply in a hostile manner.
Crazy Cat Lady
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Seattle, WA
Posts: 2,661
Not being hostile. Just pointing out that you sounded that sounded ignorant about AA. Perhaps uninformed would be a less inflammatory word to use. Sorry if my choice of words offended. And we tend to respond to most posts here, especially if we feel the poster may benifit from it. Being that you were hung over i just wanted to point out that you may want to inform yourself about AA before you knock it for yourself or others. I'm a blunt and honest person but i am not judgmental and hostile. I hope you find a system of sobriety that works for you and i wish you happiness and peace in your life. Namaste.
Crazy Cat Lady
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Seattle, WA
Posts: 2,661
Hahaha! Me too! 4 girls. Harley Quinn, Chewy, Tini (used to be Martini, lol) and Hyatt. We have an Orange Wing Amazon parrot bird as well named Menchi. He's around 35. All rescues and all my darlings. They're really something, aren't they?
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: st pete, fl
Posts: 9
Oh totally...I have two girls and two boys...all rescues too..oh I do so admire you for rescueing a parrot.....they live so long...I don't think I could take the responsibility! But I am single. White light to you Grist and your babies too...I feel guilty....poor cheeto..this thread should really be about hiim...
Your attitude, not your aptitude, will determine your altitude
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Oxnard (The Nard), CA, USA.
Posts: 13,899
Originally Posted by cheeto
I have gone to AA and hated it cause I am not religious even though they say it is not religious I couldn't stand all the praying and holding hands stuff along with saying my name and I am an alcoholic every time I spoke
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