Innerchild

I am in this intense all day therapy program at my local hospital. I am glad I am putting myself through this during my early days of sobriety because feeling is painful. I am fully aware of my drinking triggers and since the age of twelve Ive always avoided feeling by either throwing myself into my school work, eating disorders, over exercising and recently drinking.

So many different emotions are coming up through this program I am in anger, sadness, anxiety etc. I call it a emotional detox bc every single negative feeling Ive stuffed inside for so long are now surfacing. Its a good thing I am in AA too bc I could not do this alone.

Its great waking up without a hangover, spending time with my niece and nephew without feeling like crap. I can love more and experience more positive emotions but feeling the negative feelings of worthlessness is just like being hit in the back of the head with a brick. Yuck!

I know dealing with my issues head on takes a lot more strength than picking up a drink to avoid them so I am grateful for that but in the meantime its very difficult. Anyone else experience these intense emotions?

Sapling

It is difficult...I couldn't do it alone either. What is the price of freedom? Right?

Dee74

I certainly did IC...I hadn't 'felt' for many years - it was like a dam burst.

I'm glad I had people here to come to for support and to talk me through when I feared it might all be too much.

I'm glad you're here again too

D

Change4good

Thanks for sharing your thoughts with us. Sometimes it seems the only way is through it, not around it.

Sending you strength. Be proud of yourself IC.

LoveAffirmLive

Yes, I can relate I used to only listen to the sound of the smallest violin playing for me and then in early recovery it was like a whole orchestra that I was privvy to! I used to get tired of other well meaning and lovely people telling me that 'it passes' but it's so true!!-duality emotions (only happy OR sad, only hyper OR tired, only stressed OR relaxed) balance out in time- hang in there!!

Luv, Love

sugarbear1

I wish you all the best!

DayTrader

Sounds like part of the inventory process for me - 4th step especially (you mentioned AA so you may consider putting a similar post in the 12-step area). I found that taking that stuff, once I was clear on what was happening from a selfish, self-centered, dishonest or frightened standpoint through the rest of the process/steps helped significantly.

Facing myself: what I thought/think, how I felt/feel, my ability and inability to fix different things, actions I take and don't take, etc......it's all part of the process and NO, it's doesn't always "feel good." IMO, steps 1, 4, 6, 9 and even 12 don't usually feel very good when I'm "working" them.