Originally Posted by artsoul

It's been two years since I stopped drinking and I feel a bit humbled today. I couldn't have done it without all of you here. I remember how scared I was to even think about getting sober. I could only imagine my life would be worse. After all, a couple hours of relief was better than nothing, even if I had to pay dearly for it. I knew I had to quit (someday) but not now - not when I was just trying to get through another day of fear and anxiety, trying to get some work done, covering up the effects of past drinking and trying to control the constant cravings. It got harder and harder.

Somehow I found SR and started reading. (Strangely, it became my new pastime while drinking!) One day two years ago, after several drinks, I got up the nerve to make my first post which was titled something like "Why do I keep doing this to myself?" That was the last time I drank.

The ironic thing about getting sober is that you have to do it first in order to actually want it. Over days, weeks, months, you begin to realize what you've been missing: waking up and feeling peaceful, listening to the birds sing……. learning and growing and feeling connected to life again. It grows over time, so you have to have patience with yourself. If I had to sum it up, the first year for me was all about staying sober by any means possible. The second year has been more about what's under the surface: how do I deal with me? But it's also been a year of more and more joy...... even the bad stuff doesn't freak me out anymore - life is good!

If I could give a message to someone just starting out it would be: have compassion for yourself. Compassion means understanding, empathy and kindness. Most of us spend years thinking negatively, judging and beating ourselves up in one way or another - and really, who would want to live with that?! If we can't live with ourselves, nothing is going to help. It's obvious, I know, but just try spending a day without judging yourself and see what happens. Compassion means you accept where you are, care for and comfort yourself and give yourself the opportunity to heal, honor your feelings and learn from them, feel worthy of help if you need it. I'm still working on it, but I can tell you it's made all the difference! Love you all (and thanks for your invaluable support)!!!!:ghug3

Originally Posted by artsoul

The ironic thing about getting sober is that you have to do it first in order to actually want it. Over days, weeks, months, you begin to realize what you've been missing: waking up and feeling peaceful, listening to the birds sing……. learning and growing and feeling connected to life again. It grows over time, so you have to have patience with yourself.