You worthless piece of s*+!
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Join Date: Feb 2009
Posts: 609
I've been through similar to Anna and agree, I had to realize it was the other person with the problem, not myself, though it is extremely demoralizing and it was only when I started working on my own emotional healing I could learn to disconnect.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: East Coast
Posts: 140
Weasel: My father told me when I was young that "I don't like you and the person you are." That was one of the nicer things he said, the rest I don't want to repeat even here. That has all stuck with me through my adulthood and I realize that no father should ever say that to their daughter better yet another person. It's fueled my drinking but I know underneath it all that he would take it back if he could. I also know it's not true, and it's just through getting sober (I am detoxing now) that I can heal.
Paradox, Humor, Change
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Naples, FL USA
Posts: 888
Charon, I believe most (not all) of us in recovery had very challanging childhoods. You are not alone. I got tons of negative programing as a child. But I am not a child anymore, but an adult. To get sober, I had to take responsibilty for my recovery. Training the voice in the mind to talk nice to me is a process that I am improving at. Teaching the voice in the mind to talk nice to me is an action. Not taking that first drink is an action. Pratice makes the master. Anything you practice you will improve at. If you start taking positive healthy actions, like not drinking today, you whole life will begin to change. Whooooosh......and you will find yourself in a much better place. I write this 92 days sober, so I am a rookie, but my life is much improved in three short months. Its action that got me this far. Best wishes to you.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 1,928
Originally Posted by Ranger 
Charon - you had a run-in with a chain saw and left with merely a nicked finger (yes, I read the other thread). In my book, that alone makes you special. 
Don't know about special but I'll take luck in addition to skill everyday, everyway.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Posts: 590
Originally Posted by Weasel1966
Vinyl, Thanks I am in counseling. Doing something called EMDR. Its for post traumatic stress and other types of trauma. Never thought of my childhood as trauma but now I realize that it took me till my early 30's to stop being in survival mode.
Cannot believe that all this is coming up so strong today. Certainly cannot believe that I am putting it out there for all the world to see. Guess ya cannot solve issues in the dark.
Ken
Cannot believe that all this is coming up so strong today. Certainly cannot believe that I am putting it out there for all the world to see. Guess ya cannot solve issues in the dark.
Ken
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Posts: 2,308
Originally Posted by Weasel1966
That's what my step father told me everyday for years. I told myself I did not believe him. That I was a good person. I drank last night. Head throbbing. Feeling like a piece of sh*!.
What do ya do when ya not sure what to do. I mean being sober is what in need to do but how do you erase the pain of worthlessness?
What do ya do when ya not sure what to do. I mean being sober is what in need to do but how do you erase the pain of worthlessness?
Anna, I'd love to see that inner child healing thing too - would you also PM it to me? Thank you!!!
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