Really upset!
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Really upset!
I went out for lunch with OH yesterday, and refused a drink so thought I was doing well.Came home and he was really sulky and moody so I asked him what was wrong, and he called me a "fat mess" and tried to kick me
To be honest I could do with losing a couple of stone, but he is way bigger than me, not that i'd ever insult him, as am not like that
I went for a long drive with my music on in the car, and he kept texting saying he was leaving etc.When I got back he wasn't there but came in crying, and saying I had changed etc.
He was the one who wanted me to stop drinking!!
The good news is I didn't pick up a drink!!
To be honest I could do with losing a couple of stone, but he is way bigger than me, not that i'd ever insult him, as am not like that
I went for a long drive with my music on in the car, and he kept texting saying he was leaving etc.When I got back he wasn't there but came in crying, and saying I had changed etc.
He was the one who wanted me to stop drinking!!
The good news is I didn't pick up a drink!!
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Originally Posted by MarkstheSpot 
Well done on ditching the booze, candie.
Now get to work on ditching all the people in your life who insult you and try to physically assault you.
Now get to work on ditching all the people in your life who insult you and try to physically assault you.
I'm working on the latter one Mark , but it's sooo hard
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Is he a drinker candie?...It may be he wanted you to stop and didn't think you could do it...I've noticed alcoholics react different around recovering alcoholics. If he's not a drinker he's an A-Hole and owes you an apology...Good job on not picking up...And good luck.
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Originally Posted by candie
No he isn't a drinker, just a control freak and depressive
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Originally Posted by Sapling
Sorry to hear that...Just remember to keep you sobriety number one over everything....Including him. Do you have any face to face support at all?...Any AA friends? People you can hang out with and hear something positive?
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I found it important...And still do to have people to talk to that have been there...Use that. You're doing great...Hopefully he'll come around and offer you some support as well. That really helps.
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Originally Posted by Sapling
I found it important...And still do to have people to talk to that have been there...Use that. You're doing great...Hopefully he'll come around and offer you some support as well. That really helps.
Have told him the verbal and physical abuse has to stop though
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Candie, you need to make a change. This only goes one way.
I had a short lived (thankfully) experience with someone like that.
I cannot believe the damage done to my self-esteem in such a short time.
I am free now and shaking my head at some of the things said to me.
People will tell you, no-one can bring you down unless you let them, but darn! if you are living with it! What do you do?
Can you move back with family for a while?
Do you have children? A job?
Make a plan. Domestic violence people can help you.
I am so proud of you for not drinking.
You will loose weight anyway, off drink. You won't even have to worry about that.
He is miserable. You probably feel sorry for him.
I was/ am depressed. It would not even enter my head to say mean things to someone.
Less so, in fact.
I did notice one thing about my freak.
He would insult and mock and pull me down.
Then, he would be nice and kind and be the one to comfort.???!!! Power.
The last interaction I had with him, he misread the silence.
I was just deciding, quietly that I was done. He was very shocked.
I left and haven't seen him since.
"Better your own company, than bad company."
Big hugs, Anne
I had a short lived (thankfully) experience with someone like that.
I cannot believe the damage done to my self-esteem in such a short time.
I am free now and shaking my head at some of the things said to me.
People will tell you, no-one can bring you down unless you let them, but darn! if you are living with it! What do you do?
Can you move back with family for a while?
Do you have children? A job?
Make a plan. Domestic violence people can help you.
I am so proud of you for not drinking.
You will loose weight anyway, off drink. You won't even have to worry about that.
He is miserable. You probably feel sorry for him.
I was/ am depressed. It would not even enter my head to say mean things to someone.
Less so, in fact.
I did notice one thing about my freak.
He would insult and mock and pull me down.
Then, he would be nice and kind and be the one to comfort.???!!! Power.
The last interaction I had with him, he misread the silence.
I was just deciding, quietly that I was done. He was very shocked.
I left and haven't seen him since.
"Better your own company, than bad company."
Big hugs, Anne
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Originally Posted by candie
Just had a brief chat with him, and he said he feels crap about himself, and needs to sort himself out, so I agreed
Have told him the verbal and physical abuse has to stop though
Have told him the verbal and physical abuse has to stop though
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Control freak huh? That sounds familiar.
In my experience people like that will criticise you for whatever they can and never give you any compliments on things done well because that empowers you.
On the other hand, he may just be feeling sorry for himself because you are making positive changes in your life and he's not.
Basically it's just like people picking on people around them to make themselves feel better.
Well done on staying sober Candie, you are doing great
In my experience people like that will criticise you for whatever they can and never give you any compliments on things done well because that empowers you.
On the other hand, he may just be feeling sorry for himself because you are making positive changes in your life and he's not.
Basically it's just like people picking on people around them to make themselves feel better.
Well done on staying sober Candie, you are doing great
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Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: In the middle of the woods, NJ
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Great job on staying sober and never give anyone your power. I was in an abusive relationship and it NEVER gets better. Now is the time to focus on you and I know its easier said than done but you dont need anyone mentally or physically abusing you in your life. Stay strong and believe in yourself.
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Originally Posted by hypochondriac
Control freak huh? That sounds familiar.
In my experience people like that will criticise you for whatever they can and never give you any compliments on things done well because that empowers you.
On the other hand, he may just be feeling sorry for himself because you are making positive changes in your life and he's not.
Basically it's just like people picking on people around them to make themselves feel better.
Well done on staying sober Candie, you are doing great
In my experience people like that will criticise you for whatever they can and never give you any compliments on things done well because that empowers you.
On the other hand, he may just be feeling sorry for himself because you are making positive changes in your life and he's not.
Basically it's just like people picking on people around them to make themselves feel better.
Well done on staying sober Candie, you are doing great
He's just rung me and said he needs to lose weight and feels crap about himself!!!What a silly big baby he is
Anyway i'm off swimming this afternoon with my baby Grandson and my daughter
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