Unsure - do I attend al-anon? Not sure if H is AH
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2012
Posts: 110
Unsure - do I attend al-anon? Not sure if H is AH
Hi everyone. I'm so thankful for this forum and wanted to express my gratitude straight away before I ask my question.
I attended an al-anon meeting on Friday, however I was not quite sure if I belonged there. My H drinks everyday, as soon as he comes home from work, and has at times said something like "I think I'm done with drinking." "Really?" "Yeah, I'm done with it" or "Yeah I am really going to cut down, or just drink wine." He hasn't said he is an alcoholic and from my recollection has not expressed that he believes he has a drinking problem. I have read that I should not count drinks, but I have noticed that he drinks a bottle of wine a night if not more. Really he drinks until we go to sleep or he falls asleep on his own on the couch. We recently moved to a different state where he has a new job, and we lost our previous home and due to that and other issues he says he is depressed.
I recognize alcoholic tendencies in him, and codependent tendencies in myself. But is this enough?
How do people find themselves in al-anon? How do we really know if our loved one is an alcoholic? Do family members tell their loved one that they are attending al-anon? How do we bring that up? Is it possible for someone to drink because they are depressed and not be an alcoholic?
Thank you so much for your help.
I attended an al-anon meeting on Friday, however I was not quite sure if I belonged there. My H drinks everyday, as soon as he comes home from work, and has at times said something like "I think I'm done with drinking." "Really?" "Yeah, I'm done with it" or "Yeah I am really going to cut down, or just drink wine." He hasn't said he is an alcoholic and from my recollection has not expressed that he believes he has a drinking problem. I have read that I should not count drinks, but I have noticed that he drinks a bottle of wine a night if not more. Really he drinks until we go to sleep or he falls asleep on his own on the couch. We recently moved to a different state where he has a new job, and we lost our previous home and due to that and other issues he says he is depressed.
I recognize alcoholic tendencies in him, and codependent tendencies in myself. But is this enough?
How do people find themselves in al-anon? How do we really know if our loved one is an alcoholic? Do family members tell their loved one that they are attending al-anon? How do we bring that up? Is it possible for someone to drink because they are depressed and not be an alcoholic?
Thank you so much for your help.
RIP Sweet Suki
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: In my sanctuary, my home
Posts: 39,864
Welcome to SR, NewbieJ. You will find a lot of support here. I suggest you post in our Friends and Families Forum where you will find many people who have dealt with, or are currently dealing with the same things as you. Here's a link...
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ly-alcoholics/
It doesn't really matter if your husband is "alcoholic." What matters is if his drinking is causing problems in your relationship, or is causing you unease, then al-anon can help you. Please know that alcoholism is progressive and will never get better unless they stop drinking. If he tries to stop or to moderate his drinking and is unable to do it long term, there is a good chance that he is addicted to alcohol.
Again, welcome to SR! Hope to see you on the Friends & Family Forum.
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ly-alcoholics/
It doesn't really matter if your husband is "alcoholic." What matters is if his drinking is causing problems in your relationship, or is causing you unease, then al-anon can help you. Please know that alcoholism is progressive and will never get better unless they stop drinking. If he tries to stop or to moderate his drinking and is unable to do it long term, there is a good chance that he is addicted to alcohol.
Again, welcome to SR! Hope to see you on the Friends & Family Forum.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
