Have to break this chain
 

27 year old male. 1st day back in recovery. Had about a year under my belt when I was 24 but thought I would have it under control. Not true. I'm trying to figure out how it got this bad so quick. It's went from socially having a couple to days long benders that are lately keep going by cocaine. My wife hasn't talked about leaving me yet but I came clean to her last night about everything. I have said many times I would quit and get help but it was all bs before. I've reached the point where I really don't want to do this anymore. I don't want to sound selfish but not for my wife or kids. That's just a added bonus. I have to do this for me. There's not many sober people my age especially where I live. Virginia Beach was coined in a magazine once as a liquor store with a zip code. Its like I have 2 families. My bar family, and my wife and kids. I know the first one of those have to go and I'm going to loose a bunch of friends. But I'm pretty sure they are not real friends anyways. I know it's on day at a time and this is only day 1. I know it'll get harder before it gets better but I'm ready for it. Went to a meeting this morning. Thinking about going this evening. Picked up the white chip and I'm trying not to lose my marbles. Wish me luck please. It's literally death or glory at this point.

You'll find a lot of support VB hurting :)

Recovery takes some changes for sure, but I don't think you'll regret making them.
I never lost out on the deal :)

welcome :)

D

Welcome to the family VB. It's so good you've realized what needs to be done. I went on for many more years trying to control what I drank. I failed every time.

I know what you mean about the town you live in. I recently moved from Ocean City, MD & there was a liquor store or bar on every corner. I wasn't tempted because I knew I'd die if I kept going - but it was a challenge. I'm glad you're finding the meetings helpful - you can rise above this VB.

Thank you so much. The emotional overload I have felt today has been a little overwhelming but I still don't want a drink. I kind of feel this calm and peace over me that I haven't felt in a really long time. I think that's what making me feel all these emotions.

Welcome!

You have a great attitude and I know you can do this. It is overwhelming to be hit with all the emotional stuff we've been hiding from, but try to remember they are just feelings. They aren't you. You can feel them and then let them go.

We do understand how hard this is, and I hope that you continue to read and post. :)

Welcome to SR VBhurting...I spent a lot of time in my drinking days way back when in Virginia Beach...I can imagine living there. Congrats on the white chip. I got mine 10 months ago and haven't had a drink since. I'd recommend a lot of meetings early...Hang around before and after meetings...Get to know the people that "get it". They're the ones that look happy and talk about recovery...Feel around for a sponsor in the next few weeks....And work it. I wasn't smart enough to do it before my wife cut out on me...That sucked. I learned things the hard way. Best of luck to you and hang around here....It's a good place.

Welcome to SR!

Death or glory? I quit drinking a year ago and and gotta say it hasn't always been glorious. It's a hell of a lot better than being dead though, and it's a hell of a lot better than drinking.

I know how you feel. When I was drinking not only did I feel like I had 2 different famlies, I felt like two different people. Or three or four different people. A different person to everyone I knew. Now I'm just me, and I'm so glad I don't have to hide any more.

Congrats on your day one, and here's to a long sober journey.

Best wishes,

Welcome to the family! :c031: We are here to support each other and share our experiences. I'm glad you joined us.:)

Welcome to SR! Great attitude.

Thanks everyone. I know how to do this I'm fairly certain. And what I don't know I will sure to ask someone. I reached out to some family and friends. Sober family and friends. 2 my age, and then 3 who are older that all have 20+ years sobriety a piece and who I trust to talk too. Day 1 is almost over but Im scared of not being able to sleep. Someone in a meeting today suggested melatonin. Thoughts? I read up on it and it's naturally produced by your body so I guess it might be ok.

Yeah it's not habit forming....It made me groggy when I used it. But that early in your sobriety you're gonna be groggy anyway. Good for you for having some people that you can talk to with 20+ years...Those are the ones I hang around with...Juat take it a day at a time.

Day 1 over. Safely and sober in bed. Feels good!! Wake up tomorrow and take on day two!

Welcome and congratulations for getting through day 1! Better days are just ahead!:c031:

VB - How goes it today?