BillyPilgrim

Hang in there John. On my first day I welded my sorry butt to Sr and kept in there. It made me stronger. The help is here use the site even the silly bits help after all sober is fun.
Billy

hypochondriac

Don't be daft and phone your sponsor They have probably had this experience before and will know just what to say and do.

Remember that honesty is the most important thing here. I you don't tell your sponsor what are you going to do? Not go back there? If you are honest you will get more respect and you'll feel better about yourself once the initial fear is over.

Keep us posted...but if the withdrawals are really getting bad please do go to the hospital...again your fear of what might happen will make everything worse.

I reckon that once you've been yo the hospital and phoned your sponsor you'll start feeling a lot better xxx

john44

I dont feel as badly as i have in the past. I don't think a hospital trip will be necessary. I just sent a text to my sponsor telling him what happened. Waiting for hos call when he gets up.

heath480

Sorry to hear your pain john.Glad you have contacted your sponsor.

Drink some water and keep yourself hydrated.Look forward to hearing you are feeling better later on.

InsertNameHere

There are worse ways you could have chose to spend your night, I am thinking of one inparticular. I had myself two days less than a week ago that were a self described "willfull dive bomb" into drunkeness. I came out the better for it I believe because it reminded me that yes I actually did feel that bad drinking. A "relapse" isn't the end of the world John, just a point from which to start again.

I am not in AA but I would think now would be the best time to be talking to your sponsor.

I don't really pray either but you seem to like hearing from people from different parts of the world so here is hoping that you find your way back to sobriety safe and sound from Africa.

MarylandRick

Thank you for posting John. I'm glad you called your sponsor, hang in there until he calls you back. Try to get to an early meeting, if not SR isn't going anywhere.

hypochondriac

Doh! I forgot it is probably the middle of the night for you x

EternalQ

I felt like I was on SR 24 hours a day the first two months. But my attitude was: if thats what it took to stay sober, then that is what I did. And it worked.

Now at approaching 90 days I come on here only 12 hours a day (ha ha) but it is not always just for help now.

It is also to get inspired, and hopefully provide encouragement to someone else when possible. (Of course, that helps me just as much as them, if not more...)

Thank goodness there are long time sober members who come on to inspire and help others. I hope to be one of them one day. And you can be one of them, too, John.

BillyPilgrim

Eternal you mean people reduce to 12 hours wow . Seriously I could not have got sober without my friends still , blue and Kelly here. The community is great

ulverston

john im from the uk and im in the same boat as you.
drinking has cost me almost everything especially the love of my life.
it hurts so bad i cant describe it...maybe this is the bottom we need to hit to start afresh..
lets get thru this together

john44

Ok. Hurting and crying. Texting back and forth with my sponsor. He's kinda tough. Says if i want to feel better stop the pity party and dont drink. I know he's right but its hard not to feel sorry for myself.

john44

The worst part of this, besides the physical agony, is hating myself. I don't like to be in this skin. It's a scary , hopeless place.

Gavinandnikki

Today you will pull yourself out of that scary place. Only you can do it, and you will. I think it's OK to have your pity party, for a little bit, then be done with it.
Stay here all day, rest and stay hydrated. Then be done - go outside and walk under the sky, breathe, and be done.

Hugs,
PJ

OCDDan

Sounds like your coming off a pretty bad binge, do they have any of those urgent care centers near you? if so, you could probably go and get something to calm you down

tomsteve

reading through all the replies, the one question that comes to my mind is: wheres God in all of this? it really doesnt sound like yer doin too good at playin God yerself. i highly suggest ya get on yer knees and ask for the strength to get yer arse to a meeting. we have 3 choices: locked up, covered up, or sobered up. which one ya want and what are you willin to do about it? personally, the fight i went through to get rid of the mental obsession was worth every second. but i didnt do it alone.

john44

Actually i only drank the past three days and not enough to get really drunk.

I think im remembering my last withdrawal and fearing the worst now. So far it isnt as bad.

hypochondriac

This is just a blip in your recovery John. There is no reason to stay where you are. It takes time for things to get better after quitting. If you've been drinking all your life then there'll be some work to do. But it does get better, and probably faster than you'd think. Then you can work on other issues in a more sane way than drinking them away. Everything you do sober will be an achievement which will boost your self esteem. Things are hopeless when we're drinking but they do get better with sobriety x

CraigA

The truth will set you free! I have been in A.A. and shame has kept alot of people from coming back or stopping people from telling on themselves, good job that you are hear reaching out and you texted your sponsor but at a reasonable hour definetly call him. If there is a directory go to a face to face meeting as soon as possible and share your story (ask for help like you are doing here).

This disease will tell you that people will judge you but that is not what 12 step programs are about, they are here to help us! Yeah build us up but we need to be connected. Remember when you first learned how to ride a bike you had training wheels then after awhile they were taking off, well I bet alot of people fell down but get back up and try again. There is no failure unless we give up! No matter how much sobriety anybody has all we have is 24 hours of a daily reprieve, just remember that, if you drank yesterday today is a brand new day. Don't worry God woke you up today to have another go at sobriety. We will love you until you can love yourself! :ghug3

Keep doing what is working right now, stay connected until you can go to a meeting (face to face), keep praying, and be gentle with yourself. Those nasty feelings are real but they will not hurt you just make you feel a little uncomfortable but it is a natural process. They will go away. God Bless you and I will pray for you!

Soberween

I'm glad you posted John44. Sometimes when the alcohol is still in your system, it really makes the depression and self-loathing so much worse. Once you finally get some sleep and all the alcohol (toxins) physically out of your body, it will feel better. You can then continue your journey into sobriety. I would also print out this entire thread and hold it dear. It may help you next time you are craving a drink and are on the brink of relapse.

nonblondechef

Today is the last day you have to feel this way, John. In one way or another, we've all "been there done that" Being powerless over alcohol is no crime. It does sound as though your life, as you are currently experiencing it, has become unmanageable. It also sounds, from what you are sharing, that the beast voice of alcohol is screaming at you. Listen to your heart and your higher power and ignore the beast. You can do this I'm rooting for you!!