ACT10Npack

I had a real date today. Not just a coffee meet which I do a lot. The general don't do a full on date because of the money and I general don't think I'm going to click with the girl. I was really attractive to this girl which is why I do a real full one day. The date went very well, we walk around a some downtown and ate dinner.

She is not a drinker which is a good thing. I talk a little bit about I stop drinking because it was getting a problem for me. Do you think it smart move to bring it up and if so should I have gone in to more detail? I try to put it as if it was my pass.

eJoshua

Don't bring it up in any more detail until you get to know her better. It's a personal thing, and a lot of girls will be scared if you start being super personal too soon.

At least that's my opinion -- but I haven't been on a date for quite a while, so maybe you shouldn't listen to me. :rotfxko

BillyPilgrim

Thats fair enough, say you dont drink (you can say quite honestly it made you ill, because it did and does)
I did admit to my gf a few months in, I had a real problem, but I was attacking it. She was gobsmacked, but decided I was worth it (and whilst not a babe magnet, I am much nicer sober)
Go for it, and make sure you stay sober.

TigerLili

Don't spill all your dirty laundry early on or you'll scare her off. Just don't drink and don't bring the subject up. If she says anything, just say drinking isn't your thing but the fact that SHE doesn't drink probably indicates that she'll never say anything.

If you're dating regularly and you get to around the three month mark and you're in an exclusive relationship, then I might tell her than you go to AA but not all the gory details of why. Keep is simple. "I used to drink a lot, I started going to AA, stopped drinking and now I feel better." End of story.

DisplacedGRITS

I wouldn't make a big deal of it right off the bat. Let her get to know the other interesting things about you. If it gets serious later on you can see go into greater detail as to the exact nature of your relationship with alcohol. For now, just enjoy being sober and "normal" with her. ^_^

ACT10Npack

Don't go to AA, so that would not be an issue there.

Anna

It's not something I would bring up on a first date.

cutepooka

I agree, if she doesn't drink then it won't come up. I wouldn't bring it up so soon, especially if you don't think it will work out. just have fun, don't bring down the heavy stuff yet. that's just from me, a chick.

omegasupreme

If it comes up it comes up; if it doesn't, it doesn't.

I'm no relationship wizard, heh, I'm writing inventory on the subject as we speak. Things work the best when I see what I can bring to rather than get from...that being said...back to pen and paper...

stairs

That's so nice to hear ACT10Npack.
Why doesn't she drink?

Tuitiefruitie

I don't know. My ex bf said i lied to him because i didn't tell him I was an alcoholic. Met him at a bar drunk as a skunk. hmmm I didn't realize I was until I quit for almost 2 months and then drank and could not control it. Looking back now I think he just wanted an excuse to leave. He kept telling me he didn't care if I drank, but when I did he left. I told the last guy I went out with about the whole thing. He said he didn't care but it didn't last too long. So I guess you should just do what makes you feel comfortable in the beginning. It's your recovery.

ACT10Npack

I remember she said that you use to party a lot when using (most likely college) and I guess she got out of that type of life style. She have 2 years and is 32 years old. She still drinks but once in a full moon.

Blowfish

I can understand why you brought it up. As alcoholics in recovery its in the forefront of our minds a great deal of the time. Plus, we get it in our head that all "normal" people drink some, so we'll have some explaining to do eventually. My advice is don't bring it up again. It does scare people away, and for a lot of understandable reasons. Let her bring it up if she has any questions. Otherwise, just keep on rolling and having fun. Grats on the date!