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Old 04-26-2012, 09:27 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Question

i seem to fail everytime...


Hello all, I have come to this site in search of anything positive I can grasp. I have been stubbornly thinking I don't need any support to help stay sober but doing this alone is hell. I feel as if I'm mentally going crazy! I seem to be on a roller coaster of addiction and withdrawal. Over n over n over! I usually get to day four or five of not having anything and then the insanity sets in and i give in. Hopefully this helps cuz I'm so done with this life. Also can anyone tell me when you will get your natural energy back??? That seems to be my downfall cuz without the drug I'm a big lazy pathetic piece of crap.
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Old 04-26-2012, 09:47 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Welcome to SR fightinthadevil.

My poison was alcohol, but addiction is addiction, and I am glad you have become a member here.

Give it a bit; someone with experience in what you are "fightin" will be by.

I know what you're talking about, though, because my body became so adjusted to being depressed by alcohol that when I stopped, I had the opposite reaction - I had too much energy, but an anxious, fearful type of energy. I don't know how to describe: it was like high-highs and low=lows. Good news is it stablizes and I found "even".

Again, welcome....
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Old 04-26-2012, 09:47 PM   #3 (permalink)
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Hello, fightin. I was a day 3 to 4 girl myself. Basically, i sobered up enough so my hand was shaking out of control and i could sign my name on the electronic pad to get my booze. What finally really got me past day 4 this time was not going it alone. I started going to AA. I simply went to meetings just to get my sorry ass out of the house during times i would have left the house to get booze. I didn't talk much but i listened a lot. Listening to others tell their stories really brought me a feeling of kinship. I have nothing else in common with these people but the most driving force in my life. Addiction. Hearing about how they suffered, suffer, strive and journey through this together (like we do here) helped me and still does.
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Old 04-26-2012, 10:39 PM   #4 (permalink)
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Welcome fightinthadevil

I know you'll find a lot of support and ideas here

to answer the energy question - I drank for years - it took me a little while - more than a few days - to get my energy levels back up - my mind and body had a lot of healing to do, y'know?

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Old 04-26-2012, 11:58 PM   #5 (permalink)
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I have been stubbornly thinking I don't need any support to help stay sober but doing this alone is hell. I feel as if I'm mentally going crazy!
Welcome fightinthadevil...That's pretty easy to solve that. Stop being stubborn. It's a lot easier to do this with support. You can get great support here and I'd also recommend checking out an NA meeting...Be around some recovering addicts. I'm not sure what your drug of choice is but it doesn't matter....Alcohol was my problem...I use AA...But I have friends that have done real well in NA...Give it a shot...No point going crazy for nothing.

Here's a site for you. See if you can find a meeting near you. Give them a call and talk to somebody.

midmissourina.org Home

Good luck to you and keep us posted...We like to see people get better...It helps other people that are suffering too.
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Old 04-27-2012, 02:23 AM   #6 (permalink)
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I didn't get into the mess I was in over 4 days. It takes what it takes to get out of it.
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Old 04-27-2012, 07:03 AM   #7 (permalink)
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Originally Posted by fightinthadevil View Post
Hello all, I have come to this site in search of anything positive I can grasp. I have been stubbornly thinking I don't need any support to help stay sober but doing this alone is hell. I feel as if I'm mentally going crazy! I seem to be on a roller coaster of addiction and withdrawal. Over n over n over! I usually get to day four or five of not having anything and then the insanity sets in and i give in. Hopefully this helps cuz I'm so done with this life. Also can anyone tell me when you will get your natural energy back??? That seems to be my downfall cuz without the drug I'm a big lazy pathetic piece of crap.
Hello and welcome.

I quit fighting the devil and surrendered. My devil was alcohol and Valium.
I have found lasting peace and sobriety in the fellowship of Alcoholics Anonymous.

Good luck in your chosen program of recovery.

All the best.

Bob R
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Old 04-27-2012, 07:28 AM   #8 (permalink)
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Yeah.

I'm an alcoholic, too. They'd showed us a movie called "Chalk Talk" made by Fr. Kartin. He makes the point that booze is the world heavyweight champion and the alcoholic keeos getting in the ring to have his brains beaten out.

The substance always wins until you surrender and admit it's the bigger bully. Then you don't have to fight anymore.
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Old 04-27-2012, 07:37 AM   #9 (permalink)
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I tried initially on my own and never really got past a few days at a time. It gutted me because I always felt that I had more 'control', so why couldn't I do this?

It took more than a year to really get on track, I never would've thought I'd get to be two and half years sober.

As for lacking energy, the recovery/healing process uses a lot of energy in the beginning. I used to justify that when I was drinking I did more things, but that wasn't the case towards the end, I just used to sit there and get drunk/'para'.

If it's a few day to day things that need doing, I've seen suggestions here before that maybe you can put some of the money you save from not drinking towards getting some hired help. You will eventually start to feel fitter and like doing more.
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Old 04-27-2012, 07:42 AM   #10 (permalink)
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Welcome!

I'm glad you are here and seeking support. We do understand how hard this is.

I believe it will take more than 4 or 5 days to get your energy back. I think it was a few weeks before I started to feel more normal.
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Old 04-27-2012, 09:47 AM   #11 (permalink)
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I have been stubbornly thinking I don't need any support to help stay sober but doing this alone is hell.
2 of the first 3 words of the First Step are "We".
"We", "Our" and similar references are repeated throughout The Steps.

The implication is that it cannot be done alone. However I find recovery it is highly unlikely that I will achieve it alone.

One of the main weapons of the disease is isolation. The last thing the disease wants is for me to talk about what I am experiencing, to compare notes with the similarly affected. In my experience this is the single largest clout against the disease. When I come out of my own head and hear your story or hear my own words coming out the insanity becomes apparent, the solutions become clearer.
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