badatbooze

Work has been slow this winter so im home quite abit. I was looking for something in the shop and for the life of me couldnt find it or anything for that matter. Everywhere and i mean everywhere i look are beer cans...in the yard, on shelves, underfoot. made my sad to the point of bawling. I gotta get rid of these things. Hundreds of them. A light night for me was a sixpack of pints plus two 24oz IPA beers. That was pretty boring I guess because mixed with thatI would smoke several bowls of pot just to get the buzz my mind seemed to need. I was for the most part plastered by the time I passed out. The weekends Consisted of no less than a case of beer and way to much weed. Blackouts were a given everytime. Today my alcohol brain has been telling me its thirsty thursday but I refuse. My life, business, family and everything else is a complete disaster. Its a wonder i have any of it. All I have to do is take a look around. That should damn well be enough reason to never drink again. I guess i need to start chipping away and fixing stuff but for now its all i can do just not to go buy some beer. Damn.

DisplacedGRITS

Clear out the mess in your shop and treat it as a sympolic clearing out of your mind. It will be nice to not have all those fallen soldiers staring you down. I still come across one from time to time and throw it out right away. It's very cleansing.

Sapling

That shouldn't be sign to you to go buy more beer...That should be a sign to you that your life was a fricken mess and you are lucky you still have a family...A job and everything else. Throw them out...You may be finding more as time goes on. And don't drink...You're doing good man...Keep it that way.

Sapling

And if you have any weed or pipes hanging around...Pitch them too!

Scolova

Your post reminds me of all the times I'd take my 1-3 day reprieves from the drink and would find myself (figuratively) crawling my way out from underneath 3 or 4 months of cans and bottles.... and whew, what a stench I'd been carrying around. I used to smoke the dope too, lots of it in my 20s, I believe that just added to my craving for instant gratification ... drink hardcore, anytime anywhere through my 30s. It took me a while, but I got all them cans cleared out and my mind too.
and I agree, get rid of the pipes as well.. they ain't good for anything.

sissy07

badatbooze,

Hang in there. I am sure there are a lot of us here that know how you feel right now. I know I have been there. Not only did I have to clean the place up I had to clean my whole life up....and now I am doing it. Things will start falling into place, I promise. But give yourself a fighting chance and stay sober. It is the best decision you will ever make. Don't waste any more time. Take care.

Hevyn

Glad you posted, Bad. I went through the whole cycle thing too, many times. I desperately wanted to believe that 'this time' I would use willpower to control myself. I'd just have a few to take the edge off. It never, ever ended up being anything but another binge. With every year that I got older, they were worse - more destructive, harder to recuperate from.

Don't do it - you know it's not fun or an escape anymore. Your real life is waiting. There is no happiness to be found in drinking anymore - it's over for us.

Firehazard

Hey bad,

What ever works for you , great!!! It is very good not to go out and get a sixer and two IPAs. The mess is obviously getting on your last nerve and I will bet you will knock that out soon.

Remember the piles of bottles/trash, bongs and dirty clothing everywhere. I could not even see the floor of my apartment.

Not drinking one day at a time things start to clean up because they aren't acceptable anymore

badatbooze

Thank you all. This site has really helped. I just waged an all out assult on the refrigerator and the cravings are gone. Food is actually good!! Haha

Hevyn

Well done.

ulverston

im pretty much in the same boat my friend.
loss of a 14 year relationship with a woman i dearly loved is killing me .
i have a business also but not much getting done at the moment.
garden full of weeds is symbolic of my life.
i only have myself to blame.selfishness and being an uncaring sob got me self i.e all alone.
and i hate myself for it.
have no idea how to get myself out of this pit ive dug for me.
they say you reap what you sow?
im really reaping what i have sown the worst emotional pain and anxiety that i can imagine...
i wish to god i could have a little peace.
my thoughts are with you..
maybe we can get outta this together?

Sapling

I was there....I said the same thing...What have you tried?