First night out.. bit worried
 

Hiya everyone, hope you have all had a good day, even if the weather has been appalling!

I had my last big drinking session last Thursday night, and haven't touched a drop since... Tonight I have to go to a charity dinner event, and as I am about get get ready I realised how worried I am.

My usual night out starts with a bottle of wine whilst getting ready and then steady drinking throughout the night.. I have always felt I needed the drinks at home for courage, and then the drinks there to combat my shyness and enable me to become someone who was able to socialise...

I have been telling myself all day that I am not going to have that first drink.. but any top tips on how to make sure I don't, and how to turn down the chanpagne would be most appreciated... Thank you xx

Well, for me, I tried going to a function where alcohol was being served, early in my recovery. I didn't drink that night, but was miserable. And, I rushed out the next day to buy wine. I realized that I was not going to be able to be around alcohol for quite a long time. I had to put my recovery first, at least for awhile, so, for me, I wouldn't go.

Unfortunately I do not have the choice, as it is a Charity event, I have a table and am giving out an award. But I agree, if it was a normal night out, I defo would not go Anna. I am planning on going down the route of how proud of myself I will be to go and enjoy the night without the use of alcohol, and at least I wont make a fool of myself becuase of the alcohol!! LOL

Yikes! Nothing like jumping in with both feet.

I'm comfortable, in social situations, around people who drink but, I think, a big part of that is due to the fact that all my friends know I'm an alcoholic in recovery. They're very supportive, if not downright protective. You're going to be in a completely different atmosphere and with only a couple days of dry time.

All I can offer is that you have a plan to make a hasty withdrawal if you get antsy and think you might drink. Please don't sabotage yourself so early in your efforts.

That is a really good idea, I will arrange for a taxi to be booked for me to arrive before the dancing starts with the excuse of having to let the babysitter go.. you are so right it is better to be prepared, than to prepare to fail! Thank you x

Bring your own drink. Have a water or whatever your favorite non alcoholic beverage is in your hand. I'm not an alcoholic but I have met a few people that swear by this.

Don't get worried, get prepared.

-Make an "escape plan". Come up with a justified reason to leave the event at any point, and make sure that you have the means to do so.
-Tell a sober friend (or your sponsor, or someone on SR) that you will be there and check in with them when you leave to let them know you are sober.
-Prepare your response for when someone offers you a drink. I prefer to say "no thanks" and leave it at that, but others feel like they need to prepare more of an explanation. "I don't drink" is a good one or "I can't because of medication". Ones to avoid are "I can't for my health" or "I'd rather not", because some people may cajole you into accepting after you say something wishy-washy like that.
-Come up with a list of reasons why you want to stay sober tonight.
-Remind yourself that you are not longer a drinker, so drinking is not an option. Period.

And don't forget the most important rule, rule number one:

If there's no pressing reason for you to attend a function with alcohol then skip it

Best wishes

Hiya, decide on a nice drink like coke and lemon or lime and soda or something and stick to it, just think how good youll feel knowing you were in such a difficult situation and beat it :-) youll be fine..you come this far hey. xxx

Remember why you are there! Get outside yourself, It's not about you, it's about presenting an award to someone deserving.

Now... If I sound harsh.... I am not telling you anything different than I tell myself, and I have had to do that... quite a few times early on!! By taking the focus off myself as much as I possibly can, getting outside myself... If I have a job to do, I make myself think only of that.

I do that at parties at our house... God knows I was the first to go wild and the last to stop... Now I give myself an assignment... food, entertainment, whatever... something to make the guests feel special... Me? I am not that important.

It takes practice, and it's not always easy, and I'm not perfect...

NOW... get out there, give that award with a smile and a handshake and make that person's day!! Then, if you have to, leave.

Thanks for all the top tips.. I am off now, will prob check in later x

look forward to the update TTGAL :)

D

Hope all went to plan.
John

Well that was a fantastic evening! We raised loads of money for breast cancer awareness, had a superb catwalk fashion show with ladies who are currently suffering, and I gave the award to a lovely lady who has raised a shed load of cash for this worth while cause, partly by running the London Marathon.

Due to the preparation I had taken (from your advice) I really enjoyed myself and did not touch a drop all evening. When we walked in we were given a glass of wine, so when we entered the main hall I went to the coat area, put the glass down - hung up my coat and walked off leaving the full glass behind. The evening progressed and I simply drank lime and soda in a wine glass, no one said a thing. And although I must admit finding myself on a couple of occasions nearly giving in.. I just reminded myself why I can't and wont have that first drink.

I must say that having seen what all those lovely women and their family and friends are going through, it made me realise how very lucky I am. Also all the things that I thought were so scary (so drank to avoid) were actually ok - so very pleased, another day sober.. and a lovely weekend with my daughter to look forward too.. Thank you all so very much for you great advice it really helped x Hope you all have a restful sleep x

Good news timetogetalife. Glad your night went well and you stayed away from the first drink.

Fantasic, you must be so proud of yourself.

Thank you x I did book an early cab to make sure I left before the dancing started, I am now in bed, snuggled up and looking forward to a busy day tomorrow, and don't feel that I missed out on anything by not being able to drink.. well apart from the dancing LOL. I hope that I feel this strong tomorrow x night night x

Great job, bud. The only thing we miss out on by not drinking is a bunch of heartache. Keep up the great work! :)

Nice job...Kudos to you. It's still a good idea to go by...If you have to be there...Be there. Don't use this a passed test to put you places you don't need to be. Well done.

This ^^^

Good Job!

Bravo!

And I bet you feel great, and great about yourself, this morning.