Day 1
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2012
Posts: 11
Day 1
This is day one. I hope. I am experiencing some withdrawl symptoms. sweating, blood pressure seems to be up. I feel anxiety.
I know it's time to stop. I have pain in my liver. I throw up almost every morning.
Going through a divorce, lonely, depressed. It was a way to hide from the pain of reality. I tried to just cut back, but I admit that it's out of control. I'm spiralling and want to stop before I hurt myself or someone else. I'm glad that you are here to help, and hope that in time I can help others.
I know it's time to stop. I have pain in my liver. I throw up almost every morning.
Going through a divorce, lonely, depressed. It was a way to hide from the pain of reality. I tried to just cut back, but I admit that it's out of control. I'm spiralling and want to stop before I hurt myself or someone else. I'm glad that you are here to help, and hope that in time I can help others.
instant
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Australia
Posts: 5,711
Welcome to SR. Living a better life, and feeling more comfortable in your own skin is an achievable reality. I found that the reality of living with alcohol in my life was slowly killing me.
Do you have access to any F2F support or medical advice?
Do you have access to any F2F support or medical advice?
Member
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Texas, a state of mind
Posts: 380
You will feel better soon, esp. if you get a quick medical consult, and then what a happy thought "Day 1" can be! A decision for life and happiness.
Best wishes to you and keep posting how it goes.
Best wishes to you and keep posting how it goes.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,442
Hi drowninginfl 
Like others have said, I encourage everyone to see a Dr - please do see one if you feel at all concerned about how you're feeling.
I'm sorry for your pain - I know myself what it's like to try and drink away loss - it simply doesn't work - the best it can do is try and push it to one side for a brief while... but it always comes back.
Sooner or later we have to deal - but you'll find a lot of support and new friends here to help
Welcome
Like others have said, I encourage everyone to see a Dr - please do see one if you feel at all concerned about how you're feeling.
I'm sorry for your pain - I know myself what it's like to try and drink away loss - it simply doesn't work - the best it can do is try and push it to one side for a brief while... but it always comes back.
Sooner or later we have to deal - but you'll find a lot of support and new friends here to help
Welcome
SR Fan
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Mississippi
Posts: 7,910
Welcome drowninginfl!
Glad you're here! Alcohol made me a very depressed person (and the anxiety wasn't so great either). I found that I'm much calmer and more able to handle things after getting sober.
We know what it's like and we're here to support you. Things really can get better!
Glad you're here! Alcohol made me a very depressed person (and the anxiety wasn't so great either). I found that I'm much calmer and more able to handle things after getting sober.
We know what it's like and we're here to support you. Things really can get better!
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,564
Welcome to the family drowning. I'm so sorry for your pain. I, too, have tried using alcohol to soothe my anxiety & lessen my misery. It never worked for more than a short time, and then there was always a terrible price to pay. Thankfully, you're realizing that now - good for you. I went on for many years trying to anesthetize myself against reality. The only way to help ourselves is to go through these emotional times without a buffer - then we can heal, grow, and move on.
We're here to see you through this time - we've all been there. You're not alone anymore.
We're here to see you through this time - we've all been there. You're not alone anymore.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2012
Posts: 11
Thank you everyone. It's good to not be alone, and it's good to be able to talk about my problem instead of hiding it from my family and friends.
I would typically start drinking after work, and continued until I fell asleep somewhere. The couch, the floor. I'd almost always wake up in the 4 o'clock hour, go into the kitchen and drink some more, to help me fall back to sleep. If I woke up at 5, I'd count the hours til my alarm was set and try to decide if I should have the shots. Some mornings were rougher than others, but I usually made it to work. When someone there noticed my hands shaking one morning a few weeks ago and said "Do ya drink?" I didn't know what to say. I stammered that it was because of my high blood pressure. I wasn't really worried though. I still thought I was in control. At my job I sometimes have to work with small parts. Last week I couldn't get the pieces together because my hands were shaking. Anyone who would have seen me try would have been shocked. Luckily they didn't, and I got the job done a different way.
I gained about 50 lbs over the last 4 years, I'm sure much of that came from the empty calories. When my liver started to physically hurt I got scared and would go easy for a night or two. The pain would subside, and I'd go back to my normal routine.
It doesn't really hurt now, but I can feel it. The sweats are gone, my hands are a little shaky. I'm really anxious, like I am about to come out of my skin.
It's 8PM, prime drinking time for me. From now until morning will be the hardest time. I don't remember the last time I went to bed sober.
Because I live alone, there was nobody to tell me that I wasn't in control. There were entire weekends that I would drink away. My body had to tell me. It was the pain, the shakes, the sweats that did it. I'm hoping that my high blood pressure condition will improve without the alcohol in my life.
I have other thinks to fix, like what void I was trying to fill or hide from by drinking. But right now I have to just concentrate on getting well.
Thanks for reading, for being here while I go through this. For your support, and inspiring words and stories.
I would typically start drinking after work, and continued until I fell asleep somewhere. The couch, the floor. I'd almost always wake up in the 4 o'clock hour, go into the kitchen and drink some more, to help me fall back to sleep. If I woke up at 5, I'd count the hours til my alarm was set and try to decide if I should have the shots. Some mornings were rougher than others, but I usually made it to work. When someone there noticed my hands shaking one morning a few weeks ago and said "Do ya drink?" I didn't know what to say. I stammered that it was because of my high blood pressure. I wasn't really worried though. I still thought I was in control. At my job I sometimes have to work with small parts. Last week I couldn't get the pieces together because my hands were shaking. Anyone who would have seen me try would have been shocked. Luckily they didn't, and I got the job done a different way.
I gained about 50 lbs over the last 4 years, I'm sure much of that came from the empty calories. When my liver started to physically hurt I got scared and would go easy for a night or two. The pain would subside, and I'd go back to my normal routine.
It doesn't really hurt now, but I can feel it. The sweats are gone, my hands are a little shaky. I'm really anxious, like I am about to come out of my skin.
It's 8PM, prime drinking time for me. From now until morning will be the hardest time. I don't remember the last time I went to bed sober.
Because I live alone, there was nobody to tell me that I wasn't in control. There were entire weekends that I would drink away. My body had to tell me. It was the pain, the shakes, the sweats that did it. I'm hoping that my high blood pressure condition will improve without the alcohol in my life.
I have other thinks to fix, like what void I was trying to fill or hide from by drinking. But right now I have to just concentrate on getting well.
Thanks for reading, for being here while I go through this. For your support, and inspiring words and stories.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2011
Posts: 526
it is so amazing how so many very different people have such similar stories.
- the mid-night drinks, to get some peace
- the shakes
- the sweats
- anxiety
- health issues
- "interesting" excuses at work... and so on.
i was just about to post how much i hate the evenings. because i've got nothing to do except to try and hide from life/reality. the worst thing we can do is to pick up a drink.
i've seen doctors and therapists and "healers".... and over they years i've realized that there is only one solution -- do not take that first drink.
- the mid-night drinks, to get some peace
- the shakes
- the sweats
- anxiety
- health issues
- "interesting" excuses at work... and so on.
i was just about to post how much i hate the evenings. because i've got nothing to do except to try and hide from life/reality. the worst thing we can do is to pick up a drink.
i've seen doctors and therapists and "healers".... and over they years i've realized that there is only one solution -- do not take that first drink.
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,564
Once it's over, you never have to go through that again. You can begin to heal and feel hopeful about the future. Be proud of yourself for kicking that poison out of your life. You can do this!
Life Health Prosperity
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Louisana
Posts: 6,752
I just "suffered through it", day 1, 2, 3, 9 months, etc.... 1 year 10 months later, I'm living and working with several 30 somethings, 1 my nephew, who use. I still just suffer through it. When you decide to quit you will. Lots of help on SR.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: New England
Posts: 1,067
Hey drowninginfl that last post sounds so much like myself friend! I was just going through the same kind of things about 2 months ago almost to a key. I managed to stop drinking with the help of people on this site and also from reading the AA Big Book... you should check it out... it's almost like reading an autobiography that some guys from the early part of the century wrote on YOU! Anyway after 2 months so many of those nasty effects have gone away and the cravings and habits have gotten much easier to deal with. Take care, hope to see you on here for a long time to come!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2012
Posts: 11
Made it through to bedtime. Read until sleepy, but am tossing and turning. Weird random pieces of thoughts almost like what happens to me when I drink caffeine too close to bedtime. The temptation to do a couple shots and try again to go to bed is strong. I came here instead.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Michigan
Posts: 221
Hang in there, everyday gets easier. My worst night of Opiate Withdrawal I couldn't sleep so I listened to music all night, It made it much more manageable. Different thing but just try and keep focused on something when times get hard.
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