Will you think about it forever?
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2011
Posts: 518
Thanks everyone for your responses...
I quit...and I don't really think too much about going back to drinking...I guess I think about it in general.
I think about what to do with my afternoon since I no longer drink. What I am going to do in future social situations now that I don't drink. ETC.
I really feel like this time is different. I don't want booze in my life anymore...I rarely visualize having a drink or 'crave' it.
Is it possible that I am just thinking about it so much because it was such a routine? I mean, 3 years, 1.5 years every day?? That was my night. And now when I try and figure out what to do with my evenings I am reminded of how I used to drink.
I don't want to think about booze in general forever...
I guess I can't really dwell upon it too much and even if I did I need to deal with it.
Guys, I am OCD. More so obsessive thoughts then compulsions...I sometimes feel like the only reason why I think about drinking/alcohol is because of the obsession aspect of my anxiety disorder.
I have booze in the house...but I really do not think of the ACTUAL booze. Just the "times" when I used to drink, if that makes sense.
Ie. The other night there was a marathon of a show that I watched the last time while drinking...I thought "hm, I wonder what it would be like if I drank while watching this again"...I know I wouldn't...and I didn't have the desire to go out and buy alcohol.
I hope this is making sense.
I at least got answers to the other aspect of my question with regards to cravings.
I hope everyone is having a great evening/night/morning/afternoon/whatever time it is where you are.
I quit...and I don't really think too much about going back to drinking...I guess I think about it in general.
I think about what to do with my afternoon since I no longer drink. What I am going to do in future social situations now that I don't drink. ETC.
I really feel like this time is different. I don't want booze in my life anymore...I rarely visualize having a drink or 'crave' it.
Is it possible that I am just thinking about it so much because it was such a routine? I mean, 3 years, 1.5 years every day?? That was my night. And now when I try and figure out what to do with my evenings I am reminded of how I used to drink.
I don't want to think about booze in general forever...
I guess I can't really dwell upon it too much and even if I did I need to deal with it.
Guys, I am OCD. More so obsessive thoughts then compulsions...I sometimes feel like the only reason why I think about drinking/alcohol is because of the obsession aspect of my anxiety disorder.
I have booze in the house...but I really do not think of the ACTUAL booze. Just the "times" when I used to drink, if that makes sense.
Ie. The other night there was a marathon of a show that I watched the last time while drinking...I thought "hm, I wonder what it would be like if I drank while watching this again"...I know I wouldn't...and I didn't have the desire to go out and buy alcohol.
I hope this is making sense.
I at least got answers to the other aspect of my question with regards to cravings.
I hope everyone is having a great evening/night/morning/afternoon/whatever time it is where you are.
I'm here to learn!
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: I'm on it!
Posts: 2,038
That makes sense to me, bayliss. I was in love with everything about drinking, not just the booze. Soon enough other things will start to fill up your evenings and afternoons when you used to drink, trust me.
Self recovered Self discovered
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Toronto Canada
Posts: 5,148
At first, when those thoughts came to me, I would catch myself, and take a good hard look at what was happening, and start to laugh, as if to say, is this all you got? Is this the best you can do? Because I have my A game now.
The thoughts used to come at the same time of day, drink o'clock, but they became less and less frequent. Right now, I have to think back at least a week to the last time I had even a short flash about a drink. And that is all they are - I quickly accept the thought, and stare at it, and *flash*, it's gone. I don't drink.
The thoughts used to come at the same time of day, drink o'clock, but they became less and less frequent. Right now, I have to think back at least a week to the last time I had even a short flash about a drink. And that is all they are - I quickly accept the thought, and stare at it, and *flash*, it's gone. I don't drink.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Portland, TN
Posts: 2
Originally Posted by 2granddaughters 
The compulsion to drink was gone for me in the first year.
I think the main reason I craved a drink was because I wasn't comfortable in my own skin.
Quitting drinking is the easy part, learning to live sober and be comfortable in my own skin has taken a while.
There appears to be 2 general sorts of people who abuse alcohol, the problem heavy drinker (A) and the alcoholic (B) as described in AA's "The Doctor's Opinion". Telling them apart is readily apparent ........
A) When the alcohol is taken away from the heavy drinker, the problem goes away.
B) When the alcohol is taken away from the Alcoholic, the problem just begins.
Know which one you are and your course of treatment becomes apparent as well (IMHO)
All the best.
Bob R
I think the main reason I craved a drink was because I wasn't comfortable in my own skin.
Quitting drinking is the easy part, learning to live sober and be comfortable in my own skin has taken a while.
There appears to be 2 general sorts of people who abuse alcohol, the problem heavy drinker (A) and the alcoholic (B) as described in AA's "The Doctor's Opinion". Telling them apart is readily apparent ........
A) When the alcohol is taken away from the heavy drinker, the problem goes away.
B) When the alcohol is taken away from the Alcoholic, the problem just begins.
Know which one you are and your course of treatment becomes apparent as well (IMHO)
All the best.
Bob R
Really loved this post. I started drinking at 13 and instantly felt comforbalt in my own skin for the first time. I drank to get away from all of the problems I could not handle or deal with. Now I am 30 and 5 months clean. I thought once I put down the alcohol the problems would cease! It was a big wake up call that they didn't. I have had alot of work to do on myself do deal with all of the problems I have drank down for so many years. When I have a bad day my first thought is alwasy... Man if I had a drink I would feel better. I just have to "play the tape" to where that goes and know the problem is still going to be there when I get sober! Thanks
Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: North Carolina
Posts: 26
I'm at six weeks now and don't have any cravings really. What helped me the most was staying busy and settling in a good daily routine. Still early for me but i feel like I have it beat. Drinking too much coffee though.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Toronto ON
Posts: 1,180
Originally Posted by 2granddaughters
There appears to be 2 general sorts of people who abuse alcohol, the problem heavy drinker (A) and the alcoholic (B) as described in AA's "The Doctor's Opinion". Telling them apart is readily apparent ........
A) When the alcohol is taken away from the heavy drinker, the problem goes away.
B) When the alcohol is taken away from the Alcoholic, the problem just begins.
A) When the alcohol is taken away from the heavy drinker, the problem goes away.
B) When the alcohol is taken away from the Alcoholic, the problem just begins.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: « USA » Recovered with AVRT (Rational Recovery) ___________
Posts: 3,680
Originally Posted by Tippingpoint
I am SO glad that I'm in that first group. No alcohol...no problem!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2011
Posts: 518
Sugarbear - I’m done drinking. Yes. I don’ t want it in my life anymore. For some reason it feels different this time. I don’t want to go back to what I was like. What I was doing wasn’t even considered living...I wasn’t neither here nor there...just slowly killing myself with that poisonous crap.
Thanks eJoshua - I am working on it. Trying to get out as much as I can. Trying new recipes. Walks. Reading. Tea. You know. Still early in my sobriety but I am determined not to go back to where I was.
Freshstart - thanks for that. It’s funny. This is what you’re supposed to do with obsessive thoughts in OCD. Accept the thought...and once you do...it loses it’s power. Ties in with AVRT I think. I need to work on this some more. But I am getting better at it.
The thing is, if you take the booze from me...for the first hour I was upset...because I thought “hey, you can’t tell me what I can and cannot do!” and I was always so afraid of just stopping...in the past I thought about it too much and really thought about it a lot more then I do now. When I tried to quit last time I still tried to get wine and convince the boyfriend that everything was fine and I could drink...and I ended up doing that.
This time, I just don’t want to. I can go to the store and walk past the booze. I KNOW...like seriously deep down KNOW that I am done and I don’t want it.
Maybe I am just afraid that I am on this “kick” now and just not sure of the future...kinda like in AVRT...when the beast is saying “Ah, whatever, quit now...we’ll see how you do *in whatever amount of time* from now...”
Because I really don’t want to go back to all that BS. I guess I am just being overly cautious instead of just going with the flow and accepting the fact that I can seriously be free from this and not have to be so damn paranoid about it.
Thanks everyone.
Thanks eJoshua - I am working on it. Trying to get out as much as I can. Trying new recipes. Walks. Reading. Tea. You know. Still early in my sobriety but I am determined not to go back to where I was.
Freshstart - thanks for that. It’s funny. This is what you’re supposed to do with obsessive thoughts in OCD. Accept the thought...and once you do...it loses it’s power. Ties in with AVRT I think. I need to work on this some more. But I am getting better at it.
The thing is, if you take the booze from me...for the first hour I was upset...because I thought “hey, you can’t tell me what I can and cannot do!” and I was always so afraid of just stopping...in the past I thought about it too much and really thought about it a lot more then I do now. When I tried to quit last time I still tried to get wine and convince the boyfriend that everything was fine and I could drink...and I ended up doing that.
This time, I just don’t want to. I can go to the store and walk past the booze. I KNOW...like seriously deep down KNOW that I am done and I don’t want it.
Maybe I am just afraid that I am on this “kick” now and just not sure of the future...kinda like in AVRT...when the beast is saying “Ah, whatever, quit now...we’ll see how you do *in whatever amount of time* from now...”
Because I really don’t want to go back to all that BS. I guess I am just being overly cautious instead of just going with the flow and accepting the fact that I can seriously be free from this and not have to be so damn paranoid about it.
Thanks everyone.
*Grateful*
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: Midwest
Posts: 2,619
Not even! This is me today....REALLY!! I have been set free and so can you Bayliss!
And we have ceased fighting anything or anyone-even alcohol. For by this time sanity will have returned. We will seldom be interested in liquor. If tempted, we recoil from it as from a hot flame. We react sanely and normally, and we will find that this has happened automatically. We will see that our new attitude toward liquor has been given us without any thought or effort on our part. It just comes! That is the miracle of it. We are not fighting it, neither are we avoiding temptation. We feel as though we had been placed in a position of neutrality—safe and protected. We have not even sworn off. Instead, the problem has been removed. It does not exist for us. We are neither cocky nor are we afraid. That is how we react so long as we keep in fit spiritual condition.
Alcoholics Anonymous pp.84-85
And we have ceased fighting anything or anyone-even alcohol. For by this time sanity will have returned. We will seldom be interested in liquor. If tempted, we recoil from it as from a hot flame. We react sanely and normally, and we will find that this has happened automatically. We will see that our new attitude toward liquor has been given us without any thought or effort on our part. It just comes! That is the miracle of it. We are not fighting it, neither are we avoiding temptation. We feel as though we had been placed in a position of neutrality—safe and protected. We have not even sworn off. Instead, the problem has been removed. It does not exist for us. We are neither cocky nor are we afraid. That is how we react so long as we keep in fit spiritual condition.
Alcoholics Anonymous pp.84-85
Member
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: « USA » Recovered with AVRT (Rational Recovery) ___________
Posts: 3,680
Originally Posted by bayliss
Maybe I am just afraid that I am on this “kick” now and just not sure of the future...kinda like in AVRT...when the beast is saying “Ah, whatever, quit now...we’ll see how you do *in whatever amount of time* from now...”
If you haven't done so already, you may want to read through that thread, as it may clarify some things.
12-Step Recovered Alkie
Join Date: May 2010
Location: West Bloomfield, MI
Posts: 5,797
Originally Posted by bayliss
Thanks.
Oh...and btw...is it possible as well that you can obsess over NOT drinking? Does that make sense?
Oh...and btw...is it possible as well that you can obsess over NOT drinking? Does that make sense?
I think so. For me, it's not been uncommon to take what I consider/pre-judge to be a "good" thought, emotion, or feeling and overuse the hell out of it.......thus landing me right back in the same pot of water I was when I was abusing the opposite / "bad" thought or emotion.
Just about ever fear inventory I've written shows I'm afraid of one thing AND it's opposite: of getting drunk - cuz I'll die // of staying sober - cuz it comes with a lot of work/responsibility.
When you start seeing stuff like that over and over it becomes apparent that the problem runs deeper than the bottle.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Toronto ON
Posts: 1,180
Originally Posted by Terminally Unique
So... your "underlying issues" come in six packs and require a bottle opener?
Yep...you got it!
Remove alcohol and I'm afraid that the person that remains is woefully normal. Normal problems, normal issues...nothing sexy or exciting, No disease - nothing special or remarkable at all about me in any way shape or form.
So it goes
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Manchester UK
Posts: 1,620
Funnily enough I went to a gig on Tuesday, and it was one of those with a bar. Not only did I not even bother to get a coke, I looked at those drinking beers whilst watching the music, and wondered "why did I ever bother?"
I'm not saying the problem wont come back, but at present I dont have the cravings
As usual Dee has it right
I'm not saying the problem wont come back, but at present I dont have the cravings
As usual Dee has it right
Originally Posted by Dee74
I really believe recovery should be enjoyed not endured - it's not a struggle - it really is the absence of struggle now.
D
D
Member
Join Date: Jun 2011
Posts: 1,193
Okay here's my honest answer, sorry if it's depressing
I guess I'm the only one who still struggles with cravings and with thinking about alcohol.
Not all the time, but sometimes. And I get what you mean about obsessing about NOT drinking. I feel that I am either thinking about drinking, or thinking about not drinking/recovery/sobriety, all the time. To be honest with you, I start to get really tired of it and other times it really scares me, like I start to think I'm seriously crazy.
Reading everyone saying how it's so easy for them now makes me feel especially crazy. I know drinking isn't an option but I feel like a freak of nature for having these thoughts and not being able to deal with them. When I go to AA and try to work the steps, it does get better, but to me that is still thinking/obsessing about NOT drinking. I just wish I could be normal and not have to have alcohol affect me this way, or not be crazy, or whatever.
It seems to me that people who are here posting on SR are either thinking about drinking, or not drinking. Like, the people who come here and post about recovery are still thinking about NOT drinking, when they post. They do this instead of drinking. This helps them, and/or helping others helps them, and I get that and am glad that they are here, but honestly I wish *I* didn't have to be here, I wish I could just go about my life and not have to think about alcohol in any context at all!
Maybe it's just where I'm at right now. Sometimes I feel great but other times it's quite depressing. (And I've been having some stressful times in general so that probably has to do with it). I'm not trying to depress you, just share and honestly answer your question. I am definitely not trying to discourage you away from sobriety, because drinking is certainly not the answer, but, I don't know what is, honestly. I have tried therapy, not drinking on my own, not drinking as part of AA, and I guess it's just something I will always have to deal with, either thinking about drinking, or thinking about not drinking, maybe forever like you ask. But at least I'm not drinking. :-/ I guess I just have a really obsessive personality.
Not all the time, but sometimes. And I get what you mean about obsessing about NOT drinking. I feel that I am either thinking about drinking, or thinking about not drinking/recovery/sobriety, all the time. To be honest with you, I start to get really tired of it and other times it really scares me, like I start to think I'm seriously crazy.
Reading everyone saying how it's so easy for them now makes me feel especially crazy. I know drinking isn't an option but I feel like a freak of nature for having these thoughts and not being able to deal with them. When I go to AA and try to work the steps, it does get better, but to me that is still thinking/obsessing about NOT drinking. I just wish I could be normal and not have to have alcohol affect me this way, or not be crazy, or whatever.
It seems to me that people who are here posting on SR are either thinking about drinking, or not drinking. Like, the people who come here and post about recovery are still thinking about NOT drinking, when they post. They do this instead of drinking. This helps them, and/or helping others helps them, and I get that and am glad that they are here, but honestly I wish *I* didn't have to be here, I wish I could just go about my life and not have to think about alcohol in any context at all!
Maybe it's just where I'm at right now. Sometimes I feel great but other times it's quite depressing. (And I've been having some stressful times in general so that probably has to do with it). I'm not trying to depress you, just share and honestly answer your question. I am definitely not trying to discourage you away from sobriety, because drinking is certainly not the answer, but, I don't know what is, honestly. I have tried therapy, not drinking on my own, not drinking as part of AA, and I guess it's just something I will always have to deal with, either thinking about drinking, or thinking about not drinking, maybe forever like you ask. But at least I'm not drinking. :-/ I guess I just have a really obsessive personality.
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,505
Actually, for me, recovery has nothing to do with 'not drinking' anymore.
Recovery is a term I would use to express how I live my life.
Recovery is staying in the day, putting aside my ego, listening to my soul (my inner voice) and following the path it's encouraging me to choose. Recovery is about being kind and compassionate to the people I meet on a daily basis, and trying to let go of frustrations and upsets and move on.
So, I am not thinking about 'not drinking'. I am thinking about how I want to live my life, to live the best life I can.
The reason I continue to come to SR is because reading the posts here helps me to keep my life balanced and on track. I hope that once in a while I can help someone here, because helping others is a gift of recovery to me.
Recovery is a term I would use to express how I live my life.
Recovery is staying in the day, putting aside my ego, listening to my soul (my inner voice) and following the path it's encouraging me to choose. Recovery is about being kind and compassionate to the people I meet on a daily basis, and trying to let go of frustrations and upsets and move on.
So, I am not thinking about 'not drinking'. I am thinking about how I want to live my life, to live the best life I can.
The reason I continue to come to SR is because reading the posts here helps me to keep my life balanced and on track. I hope that once in a while I can help someone here, because helping others is a gift of recovery to me.
Guest
Join Date: Feb 2009
Posts: 609
I wondered the same thing early in recovery.
Been sober for two and a half years, I can go for days or weeks without thoughts about drinking. Now and then it comes up but it's far more manageable. In the early days though, I found it difficult to get through 5 minutes without thoughts of a drink, I'm very glad to be free of that obsession, it's like being a slave. If you can stick with it and work solidly on the recovery, the cravings do subside.
The first time I really felt free of the obsessive thoughts was after an AA meeting, though I didn't continue with it long term.
Been sober for two and a half years, I can go for days or weeks without thoughts about drinking. Now and then it comes up but it's far more manageable. In the early days though, I found it difficult to get through 5 minutes without thoughts of a drink, I'm very glad to be free of that obsession, it's like being a slave. If you can stick with it and work solidly on the recovery, the cravings do subside.
The first time I really felt free of the obsessive thoughts was after an AA meeting, though I didn't continue with it long term.
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