Eliasson

This is probably ridiculous, but I'm a mess and need to vent and don't want to drink over this. Most of you know I have Lupus. Well, the symbol for lupus is the butterfly. I'm not sure I've been in my right mind lately, but I went and had a tattoo of a pretty butterfly done on the inside of my wrist. I'm not really the tattoo type. But it symbolizes overcoming lupus, and becoming free from alcohol for me. My husband is less than thrilled (no big surprise) and really hurt my feelings. Now I'm questioning my decision because I never trust my own decisions and this is permanent! Am I losing my mind? This made so much sense at the time, and is tastefully done. I don't want to stress so much over this that I drink, which is what I would've done in the past. I wish I had more self esteem, wish I could accept myself and my decisions. I'm so discouraged and it's over something so petty. What is wrong with me?

Dee74

For a lot of years I always felt guilty when I did things just for me....that guilt was a symbol of the mindset and the low self esteem I had that started me drinking in the first place...

Tattoos aren't my thing...but it means something to you...it's not ostentatious and it's somethings that's uniquely yours now forever.

Cherish it Eliasson - don't let others steal away your gift to yourself

I think your husband will learn to live with it

D

EmeraldRose

For some reason in your heart your gut said do it. We don't intentionally do things to hurt other people and we can not always predict or accept their actions. You had it done, its tasteful, its meaningful and I don't think you need to have any more areas in your life of regret or shame. Let it go.

I have 8 tattoos. Three are butterflies from my shoulder down to my wrist on one arm. I got them at different chapters of my life where I felt I rebirthed into a new realm of life. The first one was a coverup and my husband (at the time) actually wanted me to get it removed all together. Well, I didn't want to get it removed. I liked it. But it was getting faded so I got a butterfly over it -much larger which didn't set well with him. Oh well.
After we separated that following year I got more...and more...a Phoenix, dragonfly, dragon, moons, they all mean something. Oh and chinese writing meaning 'eternal life'.
Im planning my next one on the back of my neck in the near future.

kittycat3

Drinking will surely not make the tat disappear!

Nobody really has to like the tattoo but you Eliasson. I could even argue that you don't even have to like it. It's just a tattoo.

Give it a rest from your mind for now. It sounds like you did this with wonderful intentions and I think it sounds like a very special and symbolic gift to yourself. Don't let someone else spoil it. I love this idea.

soberlicious

Remember how you were feeling when you got it. Remember what it symbolizes to you. I'll bet it's absolutely beautiful. I actually have some ink that was very sponateous and the circumstances surrounding this piece have changed, but I don't regret it because it meant something real at that moment in time. As the ever wise and ever beautiful Marilyn says, "“We should all start to live before we get too old. Fear is stupid. So are regrets.”


Emerald, I have lots of ink too. My next will be a half sleeve

Emma18

It's your tattoo, not to mention your body! Your husband has no say in what you choose to do with your body, just saying.
Plus it's a tattoo that has meaning, they're the best ones. Keep it and love it.

RyanRyan

The only way I would get a tattoo is if it had meaning to me. That's really all that matters. If it makes you proud and is a symbol of overcoming then good for you! Don't let anyone take that away.

eJoshua

Don't worry about your husband, he's probably just doesn't know how to react to it but I'm sure he'll grow to like it if you like it. I think it's awesome that you chose to get a tattoo to symbolise your overcoming lupus.

When I got my first tattoo I had those "holy crap, this is on my body forever" moments from time to time within the first couple of weeks, but they went away after a while. My resolve to get my tattoo was strong before getting it, and now that I have it I'm super happy with it, but I think if you don't have those moments of doubt about any permanent decision then you aren't really human.

Post pics if you want!

PS - By the way I am working on my next tattoo right now. It's going to be a full color sleeve depicting Jonah and the whale. Can't wait to get it done!

ReadyAndAble

You like it. End of story!

I wouldn't worry too much about your husband's reaction. You're both under a lot of stress, and stress can make small things look like big things. You said you didn't consider yourself the tattoo type. So I'm guessing he probably thought the same thing.... and might need a day or two to wrap his head around the idea that you are exactly the tattoo type, lol.

Good for you, Eliasson.

Sapling

It's for you....Just make what it stands for come true. I'll bet it's beautiful.

Eliasson

I honestly don't know what I'd do without y'all. Ive heard people in the rooms say "Thank you for loving me until I could love myself" and never really got it. I get it now. Thank you.

soberlicious

What is the "tattoo type"?
Enjoy your beautiful body art. You may find yourself wanting more someday lol

Newatthis34

Ignore what your hubby said, have confidence in your choice to have it done! Like everyone else said it's your body and I think it sounds very special and meaningful to you so who cares about anyone else?

aasharon90

Your tattoo sounds lovely and very meaningful.

Tattoos and piercings were a no no growing up
and taught to me as a child. So, i avoided them
and discouraged them with my own kids.

However.....in recovery for 21 yrs, I have gone
thru many awesome changes in my life and my
thinking on different things have changed. It's
all apart of growing in recovery for me.

I got a glimmer of tattoo inspiration 6 or 7 yrs
ago while living in Houston with my family. Since
then, my 25 yr marriage ended, i returned back
to my hometown of Baton Rouge, and remarried.

That little glimmer of tattoo inspiration has
grown in me and now have many beautiful,
vibrant tattoos beginning at the age of 50.

I appreciate getting them later in my life and
are more meaningful. I also think its the freedom
of being who and what I am today without
having to constantly explain my actions to
those who dont understand me as an alcoholic
in recovery.

soberbythesea

Enjoy it. As you said it is permanent, so the best thing to do is hang on to those positive thoughts that made you get it to begin with.