New and need advice, please
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2012
Posts: 2
New and need advice, please
My younger sister (26) is a heroin addict. I knew she had used in the past (and I probably assumed, ignorantly of course, that it was purely recreational and once in a while), but she told me, about 2 weeks ago, that she has been using regularly for months now. She wanted to quit and so she told me and wanted help. She also has bipolar disorder (or manic depression, I don't really know the difference) - basically highs and lows in terms of mood. I'm sure that doesn't help and isn't helped by the drugs. She sees a therapist regularly for depression. Anyway, she lives with her boyfriend (he is awesome - very chill and has a successful job and an all-around good guy), and finally told him about her drug abuse about a week after talking to me. She finally told her therapist as well, and so up until now, I've just made it clear that I want to help if I can (however, I don't really know how because I'm not a trained professional).
Today, she called me in tears and quite hysterical - she was on her dinner break at work (she holds a good job and is also in school part-time, so the drugs haven't completely filtered into that part of her life yet), and she was upset because she had just purchased drugs and spilled them on the ground. She couldn't use, and so was upset because of it - she called me because, I think, she wants help. She feels terrible about herself, wants to quit, but obviously still wants to use since she shot up this morning (first time in a week and a half, apparently). I calmed her down, she went back to work, I called my parents and they called her boyfriend.
She told me that her therapist suggested she go to rehab. I said that is probably the best idea, but of course she doesn't want to go. I mentioned this to my parents who agree that it might be the best option. I don't want to get a phone call informing me that she has been arrested, OD'd and at the hospital, or worse. I'm terrified of losing my sister, and I want to make sure I do what I should be doing. She lives three hours away from me, and two from my parents, so I can't be there, which is frustrating for me.
I'm not trying to "fix" her and I am not trying to act as a therapist - I'm not qualified for that role, professionally or emotionally. I'm her sister, and I love her, so really, is that I all can/should do? Just be there for her? I'm trying to encourage her to get treatment. Any suggestions or feedback for my reactions to this are appreciated. Thanks.
Today, she called me in tears and quite hysterical - she was on her dinner break at work (she holds a good job and is also in school part-time, so the drugs haven't completely filtered into that part of her life yet), and she was upset because she had just purchased drugs and spilled them on the ground. She couldn't use, and so was upset because of it - she called me because, I think, she wants help. She feels terrible about herself, wants to quit, but obviously still wants to use since she shot up this morning (first time in a week and a half, apparently). I calmed her down, she went back to work, I called my parents and they called her boyfriend.
She told me that her therapist suggested she go to rehab. I said that is probably the best idea, but of course she doesn't want to go. I mentioned this to my parents who agree that it might be the best option. I don't want to get a phone call informing me that she has been arrested, OD'd and at the hospital, or worse. I'm terrified of losing my sister, and I want to make sure I do what I should be doing. She lives three hours away from me, and two from my parents, so I can't be there, which is frustrating for me.
I'm not trying to "fix" her and I am not trying to act as a therapist - I'm not qualified for that role, professionally or emotionally. I'm her sister, and I love her, so really, is that I all can/should do? Just be there for her? I'm trying to encourage her to get treatment. Any suggestions or feedback for my reactions to this are appreciated. Thanks.
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Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,378
Hi pinkribbonskies
I'm really sorry for your situation but welcome to SR.
I think it's really up to your sister to 'own' her problem and to get to the point where she decides what she wants to do about it...whether it's rehab, NA, some other group or whatever.
I really hope that point comes soon - this site is full of people who had a moment of clarity and turned their lives around.
Remember to take care of yourself in all of this too - there are organisations like NarAnon that are 12 step based groups for the families and loved ones of addicts - there are similar groups in secularly based recovery groups like SMART or SOS too.
We also have Family and Friends based forums here as well - I encourage you to check those out too - I know you'll find a lot of people here who know what you're going through...they'll have advice
welcome
D
I'm really sorry for your situation but welcome to SR.
I think it's really up to your sister to 'own' her problem and to get to the point where she decides what she wants to do about it...whether it's rehab, NA, some other group or whatever.
I really hope that point comes soon - this site is full of people who had a moment of clarity and turned their lives around.
Remember to take care of yourself in all of this too - there are organisations like NarAnon that are 12 step based groups for the families and loved ones of addicts - there are similar groups in secularly based recovery groups like SMART or SOS too.
We also have Family and Friends based forums here as well - I encourage you to check those out too - I know you'll find a lot of people here who know what you're going through...they'll have advice
welcome
D
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Between Meetings
Posts: 8,997
Welcome to SR pinkribbonskies...God bless you for just being the sister you are...You're right about not being able to fix her...It doesn't work like that. I wonder if it wouldn't be a bad idea to do an intervention with your family, her boyfriend and maybe the therapist...Sounds to me like she needs inpatient rehab...That may be all that will work for her...It could be a good way to get her there.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2012
Posts: 2
Thanks
Thank you both for your kind words of encouragement. My sister spoke with my parents last night, and they are going to visit her on Thursday to discuss treatment options with her physician/therapist. I'm hoping for good things!
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